memo-man Posted May 6, 2005 Posted May 6, 2005 What the **** is wrong with people today? Are they so unhappy with their lives? That they are trying to live through their kids? Have we become a society of losers who couldn’t handle the pressure it took to achieve our goals? So we are going to push our kids to do everything we couldn’t? Have people lost their “people” skills, and run off all their friends, so now they are trying to be friends with their kids? Get real they are your kids; YOU are the adult, be friends with adults. Let the kids be kids. You as the parent make the rules. Not the child and they don’t have a choice in what rules they follow. If your child miss behaves it’s YOUR job to correct that behavior. Your child shouldn’t make the decisions on what to do, what the family will eat, etc. You as the parent should. There is nothing wrong with punishing your child if the child deserves it. Get over being afraid to hurt your child’s feelings. You can’t shelter them all of their lives and expect them to grow to be well adjusted. Yes children have feelings and they should experience them all. Good and bad. Sports are a joke, teaching a child that it’s normal for everyone to bat or that if you get three outs the rest of the still gets to bat is asinine. Is that how it’s done in the pros? Hell for that matter is that how it’s done in high school? No! There is more to life than everyone’s precious self esteem. How is the child going to survive if they think everything is fair? Let me tell you a secret. LIFE IS NOT FAIR OR JUST! Kids need to learn that. Yeah I’d love for my daughter to have everything go her way, but it won’t and I can’t make it. So why should I fill her childhood full false thoughts or me doing everything for her? Is that really teaching her anying? In my opinion it is doing her the greatest disservice that a parent could do. Why do people dress their little girls like adults? Why do they feel the need to put them in “hip hugger” pants, low cut shirts, boots with heels or sandals instead of tennis shoes, pierce their ears, do their nails or highlight their hair? They are kids and they need to be able to be kids. They need to play, and how do you run and play in slip on shoes or boots with heels? There will be enough time to dress like that when they are adults. At least when they are adults it’ll be their choice to look like a slut. Not their parents, making them dress like an adult. They should be wearing sweats, jeans, t-shirts and tennis shoes. You know the stuff we wore as kids. You know why we wore that, because that’s what you can play in, and we were kids. We were allowed to be kids. Sure we had dress clothes but they were age appropriate. I don’t understand why people allow there kids to go to and do things that are inappropriate for kids. Let’s start with concerts before the child is a teenager. I don’t understand why you want to expose your kids to sex, or drugs/alcohol. Both are everywhere at concerts. Why introduce a child to this environment? They will be finding out about it soon enough. Why rush them? I thought as a parent it was your job to protect your kid and allow them to grow. Not expose them to the world and leave them to fend for themselves. TV is just as ridiculous. You can’t turn it on without seeing someone in various states of undress. Let alone all the ****ed up things that shows tend to promote. Last time I checked it wasn’t appropriate for everyone to having sex with everybody regardless of age or sexual orientation. If it’s not someone having sex it’s some one doing stupid stuff (i.e. Jackass, Viva La Bam). What kind of example are we setting for kids? Sure I knew guys who did that kind of stuff growing up. But we thought they were crazy and now that is becoming normal? GROW THE **** UP PEOPLE, THEY ARE ONLY KIDS ONCE. LET THEM BE KIDS!!!!
Chris777 Posted May 8, 2005 Posted May 8, 2005 I also noticed this in my childs school. She is in the "gifted" class, but even then their is too much emphasis on passing standardized test. I had one of her teachers tell me that they were so prompted by the govermnent to prep these kids on these stupid test that they spent over half the year in test prep rather than just teaching kids the basics. Reading a book in class took a back seat to test prep. allowing children to learn about art, and colors, and all the stuff a person NEEDS to know takes a back seat to some test, to try and make our kids "compete" , and "not get left behind" Who exactly are out kids competing against?, who is going to leave them behind? I realize their were kids slipping through the cracks, but turning public education into boot camp Is not the solution, if a child can't be a child then what. My daughter told me something shocking today, something that i have a good mind to go shove into those pta snobs noses if i get a chance (we apparently dont have pta meetings in my area, at least not where J. Q, Public, can, attend, and more importantly CONTRIBUTE, or even find out whats going on.) I HATE READING My 10 year old informed me of this today. The school is REQUIRING the children read (and report on) 25 books diring the second half of the school year. She is Bored with it. it is tedious, time consuming, and she has come to distain it. She wanted me to buy her a sewing kit with picture instructions so she didnt have to read it. And before you go off and (well our children are doing so poorly bla bla bla) jumpo to conclusions about my child being lazy or whatever, she is in the gifted class, made in the top 10 % in those stupid ridiculous test, and loves school. But they are force feeding education on our kids forcing them to "grow up". And God forbit a child gets bored, and fidgets or else they will be doped up on Ritalin. I don't think any other country has anywhere near the number of kids on drugs as the us combined. I am all for not resting on your laurels, but seriously people, how often is it you hear of new ideas from other countries? new inventions? innovation? creativity? think about it. Our children are basically being trained to be factory drones for some corporation, that wil lin turn market to them and their children products , so that they can dress themselves, or their children like prostitutes, and thugs. All with big shiny whatever the fad. BTW memo-man how much luck are you having finding your pre teen (and in some cases TODDLERS) clothing that doesnt look like it was designed for a music video, or one of the "Mens mags"?
moimeme Posted May 8, 2005 Posted May 8, 2005 If your child is in the gifted class but can't bear to read, you might want to get her tested for learning disabilities. The fact of life is that we have to do an awful lot of reading in our lives; not because we are 'factory drones' but because that's one of our chief means of communication. If she's got problems with reading, it will hurt her in later life.
faux Posted May 8, 2005 Posted May 8, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme If your child is in the gifted class but can't bear to read, you might want to get her tested for learning disabilities. The fact of life is that we have to do an awful lot of reading in our lives; not because we are 'factory drones' but because that's one of our chief means of communication. If she's got problems with reading, it will hurt her in later life. This is actually a common occurrence. This girl probably should not be in gifted classes, and would fair much better with the "normal" kids. This does not mean that this child does not possess greater skills than do the "normal" children, it just shows that socially she would perform much better with the "normal" kids. I went through this from the ages of twelve until seventeen. My sister is still going through this. This is not an indication of a problem, just an indication that the child is probably in the wrong environment. I didn't start to thrive again until I was back with "normal" people. Once my performance would rise, I would be shuffeled back into a gifted class. I would perform wonderfully for the first few weeks, but then slowly drop off and lose interest. I only thrived with the rest of the "normal" kids. Fortunately, I am now thriving in college, as I always used to thrive in college. The girl just is tired from the repetitious work, and if she continues to be placed in these "gifted" classes as such a young age, her school performance could very well degrade over time. This child has no problems reading; she hates reading because she feels overworked with the pressures from her classes. This is completely normal, and actually a very tough situation. It makes one ask, should my child remain in these gifted classes, or do I keep my child in these classes at the risk of my child? I think it is very important to let the child herself decide if she wants to be in a "normal" class or a gifted class. As far as the Ritalin comment goes, I strongly agree; too many children are diagnosed with learning disabilities and mental disorders. The criteria used to diagnose a person with a mental disorder, the guidelines laid out in the DSMV, are mostly based on case studies and examples of adults in their twenties or older, yet this is being applied to children. It is too difficult to determine what is normal for a child or a teen, and what is abnormal. It is also too easy to blame the child rather than attempting to find the real problem. It is dangerous to place small children on medication that they may not need, medication which alters the way one's brain works, how one thinks and feels. Medication that does not belong in a person is poison, and Ritalin medication has been known to cause quite a few problems in children. People who say "go get your child tested" mean well, but may not be as informed as they would like to think. First, find out what your little girl wants to do, and see what happens when she gets to do it. I'm sure that, like almost all "gifted" classes, she is just getting an insane amount of work dropped on her head, and the course is not actually going any deeper into the material.
HokeyReligions Posted May 8, 2005 Posted May 8, 2005 I understand your rant, memo-man. My daughter wanted to dress 'older' too because some of her friends did. I did not allow her to wear makeup and told her when she was 15 she could start wearing some makeup. I understand that kids don't want to feel outcast by dressing differently from their peers, but there has to be a compromise! I have never understood the rationale some parents make when buying their 12 y/o $200 sneakers! Parenting is tough and when there are so many different influences of parenting styles, and restrictions on how education functions (roles of teachers and standardized tests, etc.) it's almost impossible. We end up policing our children sometimes more than parenting them. I couldn't believe it when I heard my mother's words coming from my mouth once when I said "if all your friends jump off a cliff does that mean you will too?" OMG! Some things never change! I don't expect other parents to follow the same rules of parenting that I followed, but there are some parents I would like to shake because they don't parent at all! Chris, my husband was placed in the special needs classes in school because he hated to read. This was before anyone knew what dislexia was. He barely graduated. Years later--after meeting me--I got him tested and enrolled in college. He has neural brain damage and dislexia and that is why he did so horribly in school---he couldn't read. It had nothing to do with his intelligence because he went to college and with my help in reading, and the instructors understanding of his disability, he was able to graduate with a 4.0 GPA. Something he NEVER would have dreamed! Not everyone likes to read, but it is a necessary skill that needs to be mastered to survive in this world. Moi has a point about being tested for possible learning disabilities that may prevent her from reading in the same way that the average person reads. A true story: My husband, when he was in his 20's and on his own, had hemmorides. He knew what he had and he knew about Prep. H ointment. He went to the drug store and found a tube of ointment that he thought was Prep H. He took it home and applied it. He said it burned like hell, but his mother always told him that if something doesn't hurt, it's not working. So he continued to apply it for a while and sure enough he got rid of his hemmoroides---after suffering a LOT of pain. His father or someone saw the tube and told him what it was. Ben Gay. Hubby never took OTC medications either -- like cold medicine, etc. because he couldn't read the labels. He struggled so much and was so embarrassed by it that he just suffered. His being placed with special needs kids in school, coupled with his parents abuse and ridicule, caused him all sorts of depression and insecurity and emotional problems which we addressed together. Having your daughter examined for possible learning disabilities is prudent parenting, IMO.
RecordProducer Posted May 8, 2005 Posted May 8, 2005 A girl who is more interested in a sewing kit with pictures than reading doesn't sound like someone who will go to college. Reading is wonderful, but not everyone can be intellectual. Indeed, somebody has to be a tailor too. But I must remain biased and say that reading an interesting book is one of the greatest pleasures for many people and definitely "healthy food" for our minds.
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