RonChalant Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 GF of 3 years and I have been talking about moving out of state for a while but up until beg. of this month it was all talk no action. We made of list of places we were interested in and landed on Charlotte, NC. I applied for a job down there and received an $80k offer for a position that would make my career, 18 months at this job and I could easily move back to DC area and be making $130k+...only problem is that I am the only one who would benefit from the move. Unless you work in Finance or IT pay is relatively low and of all the jobs she's looked at the most she is looking to earn is $40k-ish. On top of that she'd had to change schools and HOPE everything transferred, but she's already looked into it and says that there are no International Relations degrees in the entire state so she would more less have to restart a new Masters program. This is THE job opportunity that will propel me to where I want to be in my career but having her make that move isn't fair despite how much she says she "doesn't mind" because I know that's bullcrap. When she talks about it she cannot think of any real positives as far as she goes dealing with this move, and I feel really don't know what to do...I personally wouldn't do it if i were in her shoes. Input
d0nnivain Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Because you are already anticipating only being there for 18 month, LDR here you both come. 1
VengeanceGuidesMe Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Take the position. Couples survive worse all the time, and inevitably, someone will sacrifice their career to be together. Might as well and see who gets the best situation first. Most people can't get a dream job, let alone a dream job in the city they want to live in. It's life. Is your life your job or is the job a means to your life? I know I'm the latter apparently after giving my 20s to school and grad school. I want a job that pays my bills and affords me the time and luxury to have the kind of life I want to have. I don't care about fame and fortune as much. Not everyone does, so your gf may be truly honest about it. Maybe later one of you two makes that choice and all is good. If not, the relationship will fail unless you become that 1% who happen to find dream jobs in the same city. Best of luck.
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 I agree. Take the job. 18 months to catapult your career is nothing in the grand scheme of thing and therefore worth the risk in my opinion. Given the way the economy has been going, how difficult it is to find good jobs that pay well with any kind of future anymore, do NOT be a fool and pass this up. You'll both be better for it in the long run. LDR isn't as bad as you think. Good luck.
xcupid Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Take the position. 18 months is no big deal if the relationship is strong. Good luck!
VengeanceGuidesMe Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 LDR are worse than you think. Depending on how frequent you can visit. I spent a year in one that was 10 hour, 2000 dollar plain ride so we didn't visit each other. It was a once a week Skype for 2 hours that barely make up for not being in each others lives. Each conversation is filled with the cold obviousness of this, each story needs to be filled with background about the people in it or they are just "this guy from work" "this girl from here" etc.. You share no moments of humor in the day to day to laugh about. The lack of physical touch is depressing. Then you meet women that, maybe in another life, would have been for you. You question the choice you made to idle with such finite time. It becomes a struggle to maintain feelings and connection with someone that you share such little connection with at the moment. You grow individually. You come back together to find it's not that image you were holding on to in your head. The realities of a relationship come rushing back faster than normal because you just were living alone, not dating anyone and now you're thrown back into full relationship, sharing a space with a much reduced alone time allotment. It's overwhelming. In my opinion, relationships are growing or they're dying. And there's no growth in LDR. IMO.
d0nnivain Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 I spent a year in one that was 10 hour, 2000 dollar plain ride so we didn't visit each other. . And there's no growth in LDR. IMO. It's DC to Charlotte NC. No plane required. And it's only 18 months. I kept an LDR alive from the NY metro area to So Cal for 2 years before the internet.
PogoStick Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Take the position. 18 months is no big deal if the relationship is strong. Good luck! I say the opposite, unless moving won't have a negative impact on her schooling. Otherwise, stick with her until she finishes, then make your career move together. No reason to think you can't improve your career at your current location, whether it be a new company, or just booking more experience.
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