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My 2 year old doesn't share


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Posted

Hi everyone I'm new here so I hope I am posting in the correct category? My 2 year old son is a monster for sharing. I take him to mother and toddler groups and he pushes the other children off of the toys and snatches them saying "MINE"! I take him to one side and talk to him at eye level and explain that they are not his toys and he must share, I then get screaming tantrums. I find it so embarrsassing and I don't know what to do anymore. Everyone says he'll grow out of it, but for now I'm stuck with it untill he does. Does anyone have any tips on how I can get him to share?

Posted

when you are at home, find something he likes to do and take turns with him. he's acting completely normal for his age - and everyone who has told you he will grow out of it is right.

 

it will be easier for him to start learning to share in his own safe environment then at mommy/toddler group. he screams and throws tantrums for 2 reasons. first, he does not yet have the vocabulary skills to voice his emotions. second, it gets a reaction from you.

 

he has discovered himself.....that's great! i would be more worried if he wasn't behaving this way. :)

  • Author
Posted

Thanks for that Jade :)

Posted

It's completely normal and completely frustrating I know! My two year old son is the same way. He says that everything is his. Even if another kid has been playing with the toy for a while if he decided he wants it, he will go snatch it away and say "Mine!". These days everything is his including the T.V. in our living room.

Posted

Don't worry, your problem is normal........I read your post and you described my 17 year old. NOW THAT"S A PROBLEM!!!! :laugh:

he pushes the other children off of the toys and snatches them saying "MINE"! I take him to one side and talk to him at eye level and explain that they are not his toys and he must share, I then get screaming tantrums.
Yeppp......that's him allright! :o
seagirl400
Posted

I wouldn't worry about it either, kids go through a stage that if something looks like theirs it is theirs, if it looks like something they want it is theirs, if they think they might want it later it is theirs. Don't worry it will pass, in the meantime, if YOU are concerned you might try to play some simple games for little kids, just the act of the game will teach taking turns and then eventually he will get the sharing part.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

The mantra of the 2 year old goes as folllows:

 

If I want it, it's mine.

If I see it, it's mine.

If it's your's, it's mine.

 

It isn't necessarily developmentally appropriate for a 2 year old to share. They should play in groups around other children, but not "with" other children. They are developing their sense of autonomy and not sharing is a part of that. It will come later, especially if they see good examples from older children or adults treating each other decently. It isn't apppropriate for children this age to share and I wouldn't push it. It is all a part of the ages and stages of childhood. Enjoy it.

Posted

It's probably a part of his genes and cannot be changed. You can stimulate him to share by rewarding him when he does. But he is too young for that.

Dr. Spock's theory says that it's not good to "kill his nature," but rather let him play with his toys and not force him to share.

He is instinctively afraid that someone will take his treasure even if he takes other kids' things. It's probably an atavism from thousands of year ago when men had to fight and steal in order to survive. Those old genes are remarkable in his behavior.

When he grows up a bit, teach him good manners. That will make him obey another type of behavior that is more important than his personal needs. Stimulate sharing at home. For example, give him a lot of candies and ask him to put one in mommy's mouth. Then daddy's then another one and so on.

Make sure that the choice of sports and activities suit's his "lion's nature." His trait will become less visible as he grows up, but will never disappear. Don't worry! He might be a successful businessman or a politician! :D;):p

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