aviva_dawn Posted May 6, 2005 Posted May 6, 2005 I remember a site that listed the stages that every healthy relationship goes through. Unfortunately, I don't remember where to find such a list, nor what the list actually says. If you can post a "healthy relationship stage list" so I and other people can refer to it, it would be a good thing. Thanks!
Merin Posted May 6, 2005 Posted May 6, 2005 I've read this list.. sadly enough it was my lame attemt to make sure the Guy I was with was really an a**hole.. turns out.. he was I cannot remember all of the list but a few I did remember from the list.. Healthy Wants to be with you Unhealthy Needs to be with you Healthy Has other interest Unhealthy Is comsumed with relationship ONLY Healthy Asks for your time Unhealthy Demands your time
sk0r3 Posted May 7, 2005 Posted May 7, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Healthy Has other interest Unhealthy Is comsumed with relationship ONLY holy cow. for some reason i thought of myself when i read that! dang that's messed up.
katiebour Posted May 7, 2005 Posted May 7, 2005 "Mars & Venus on a Date" is a great book for this. (Keep in mind this is the author's idea of healthy stages- he promotes waiting on physical intimacy until you know someone.) Guys and girls go through different stages of attraction and love at different times, but the lowdown is this: Stage One- Attraction You meet, like, date each other. You date other people as well. Stage Two- Uncertainty You step back, debate whether or not you actually like this person enough to keep dating them. Don't see as much of them as you used to (guys do this more than girls, but both people should experience it- to get over the uncertainty so it doesn't crop up later.) Stage Three- Exclusivity You decide to date exclusively, showing the best sides of your personalities and become more physically/emotionally intimate. Stage Four- Intimacy You start to show the negative parts of your personality as well as the positive- you rely on positive experiences from stage three to keep you coming back even when things suck. You may become completely intimate at this stage. Stage Five- Engagement You decide to spend the rest of your life together, and prepare for marriage. You learn what it'll be like to live with this person. The author also says that people gradually become intimate or are attracted to their partners on four different levels- physical, mental, emotional, and soul. Men are first attracted to a woman physically, then mentally, then emotionally, then with their whole soul. Women become attracted to men first mentally, then emotionally, then physically, and then finally with their whole souls. This can cause some interesting dynamics when a woman feels emotionally coneected to a man, when all he wants is her body. An interesting book overall- I recommend checking it out.
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