buymyselfarolls Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Hi, I have been dating a girl for nearly a year. In that time we have gotten to know each other well, we understand the needs of the other person's personalities. It started out with her not being able to talk about her feelings to learning to be more open, me feeling anxious to me feeling more secure. There are many wonderful aspects to our relationship but miscommunication is where we end up fighting the most. We have a lot of common interests and sometimes when enjoying these common interests (or even just driving to go do something outdoors) she will give me advice on how to do things- it is always good advice and I am happy to receive it but occasionally it is accompanied with a "you're so dumb" "you're stupid" "haha- you're so silly" -- nothing too abusive just enough to bother me. She says it is the way she talks and it's not going to change and I should suck it up and that it is because I don't like being told what to do. I say I just don't want to be disrespected in that way and that she should figure out how to dispense advice without being rude. She is 8 years younger than me (I am 33) so maybe I am just foolish for not chalking this down to a generational difference. Maybe I should go out with someone closer to my age/someone who doesn't make me feel on edge about the next time I am going to be called stupid. We fight about this quite a bit. I am sad at seeing this getting in our way.
Tayla Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Best way to contradict her salty remarks is to create space. Her in one part of the world and you in another. Show her how intelligent you are and walk her to the door. This is unacceptable comments that need not be tolerated. People who say... thats just the way I am, have zero clue how they are coming off to others.
casey.lives Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 tell her-I DON'T LIKE WHEN YOU CALLING ME STUPID
Gaeta Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 but occasionally it is accompanied with a "you're so dumb" "you're stupid" "haha- you're so silly" -- nothing too abusive just enough to bother me. She says it is the way she talks and it's not going to change and I should suck it up I have a better idea. About your change girlfriend and you find yourself a nice woman that knows how to speak to you with respect? You are 33 yo, really you will let some chick speak to you this way? Because any woman speaking to you on that tone has to be just 'some chick' - a girlfriend does not speak to her boyfriend in that language.
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