Homies Over Hoes Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Hey everyone, a little predicament i find myself in currently. Met a girl, she's awesome, we get along great. Great chemistry, we fall in love fast, been dating for a solid 5 months now. I see huge potential in this woman as a wife, and she has expressed the same towards me. Problem is, I caught her checking up an ex "non relationship" boyfriend on a dating site, and she denied it until I told her I saw it plain as day. She says nothing is going on and I can trust her, but I honestly find this to be untrustworthy actions. She is also periodically checking up on him on facebook and even googling his name. (we share a laptop, I wasn't born yesterday so I know how to check history) She has been doing this on and off for the last 5 months. So I did what my gut told me to and confronted her about it, and she denied it until I mentioned her web browser activity. She was basically speechless, and said I was looking for something that isn't there. She says she is over him but I think otherwise. She dated this guy well over a year ago. 2013ish. Apparently, he stopped talking to her. I asked her if she loved him and she said, yes. What do I do? My gut tells me to walk away. What are your thoughts guys? I'm absolutely smitten with this woman. Should also add that they are not facebook friends. So she is basically just looking at his pictures that are available to the public, which are few.
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 With only 5 months in, I'd end it. Let her try to get her ex back, as that's who she really wants. You'll both be happier this way. 1
Author Homies Over Hoes Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 I'd be inclined to jump to that assertion, but her ex moved over a thousand miles away to another city months ago. And her ex is not even talking to her (as far as I know)
kendahke Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 she's lied twice in your face. Looked you straight in the eye and lied. Why would you continue on with a liar? 1
Author Homies Over Hoes Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 This was almost too perfect. FML
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 she's lied twice in your face. Looked you straight in the eye and lied. Why would you continue on with a liar? Usually I'd say ride this one out, but you seem serious. So I'd go with this above advice. I was deployed for 6 months, first week back I asked my gf if she cheated on me while I was gone. She looked me straight in the eyes and said 'No'. Found out 3 weeks later she was seeing a guy for 2 months. I ended it right then and there. If she had come clean and said yeah maybe I would have given it a second chance, but the fact that she could look me in the eyes and lie to my face sealed the deal. All her pleading and crying was all for not. Funny side note: Her sister blew me a year later. 1
Cephalopod Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Funny side note: Her sister blew me a year later. Whoa...that's a coincidence. My ex-wife's best friend gave me a BJ about three months after me and my ex split. What's up with that?
Author Homies Over Hoes Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 I'll be deploying myself early next year. Probably best I do end it, I just wish it didn't have to come to this. So no one thinks this can be salvaged?
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Whoa...that's a coincidence. My ex-wife's best friend gave me a BJ about three months after me and my ex split. What's up with that? It's the closeness and their observations. Her sister admitted to me she always thought I was too good for her sister and she didn't deserve how nice I treated her. Basically told me she had a crush on me the entire 2 years we were together and she'd constantly ask herself why her and I couldn't have met instead. Her family loved me like I was one of their own. They resented her for ruining our relationship. Another sidenote: Her sister that blew me was a stripper. Needless to say I wasn't interested in taking our relationship further. 1
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I'll be deploying myself early next year. Probably best I do end it, I just wish it didn't have to come to this. So no one thinks this can be salvaged? The worst thing you can do is deploy with a girl you love that you can't trust. No idea what your job is in the military but mine put me in life and death situations at times and my mind needed to be on the task at hand, not what my cheating g/f was doing. Girls get lonely when you're gone. They hang out with their girlfriends who are usually single. They meet guys, you're not there, they cheat. Rinse, repeat.
kendahke Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I'll be deploying myself early next year. Probably best I do end it, I just wish it didn't have to come to this. So no one thinks this can be salvaged? Like Learningtowalkagain said, if she'd copped to it when you first put it to her, then you may have been able to salvage it. But she reached for a lie instead of the truth. Over someone she can't easily go see. What happens when you're deployed and it's someone who lives around the corner? The last thing you need on your mind while embroiled in the tasks at hand is do you want to be trippin' off of a liar? Make life really easy on yourself--cut her loose.
kendahke Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 The worst thing you can do is deploy with a girl you love that you can't trust. No idea what your job is in the military but mine put me in life and death situations at times and my mind needed to be on the task at hand, not what my cheating g/f was doing. Girls get lonely when you're gone. They hang out with their girlfriends who are usually single. They meet guys, you're not there, they cheat. Rinse, repeat. It's true. Some women lack the discipline to be by themselves and not be tempted by attention, etc. Unfortunately, a lot of those kinds of women seem to latch onto good men such as yourself, especially service men. They ruin it for the good women who do know how to act when their man is away doing what needs to be done to build a life for the two of them. Being faithful and exclusive is really, really easy. Living honestly is really, really easy. I don't understand why some people just lack discipline to the point of being extra messy.
Author Homies Over Hoes Posted July 28, 2015 Author Posted July 28, 2015 Told her I wanted a break, and she begged and pleaded. Not sure where to go from here. I want to walk away, but she admits what she did was wrong. I know I'll regret not just straight up leaving her in the dust. She asked what she could do to help me trust her and I just told her to wait. Am I being naive?
Gaeta Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Told her I wanted a break, and she begged and pleaded. Not sure where to go from here. I want to walk away, but she admits what she did was wrong. I know I'll regret not just straight up leaving her in the dust. She asked what she could do to help me trust her and I just told her to wait. Am I being naive? It's not what she did that is worrisome but why she did it. Why does she feel the need to check that ex that much. The only answer is he's on her mind that much. Whether she stops checking him out or not, does that mean she'll stop thinking about him? Of course she will huff and puff when you want to break up. But if you're that special why she is checking this other dude?
elaine567 Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 She loved him, he dumped her with no real closure, now she has spent the last 5 months ogling at his pics on FB. Apparently not that many pics available to her either, yet she is still spending time looking, so I am guessing she is not really over him and that is not good for you. If you were a regular guy, I would suggest ride it out a bit, but as you are going to be deployed, then you need someone at home that is solid behind you.
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