Radpivo Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 A girl I knew from work texted me several weeks ago having not been in touch for a couple months, saying that she'd like to catchup soon. I asked her to meetup for drinks, she never responded, then the day after the day I asked her out, she texted me that she was sorry but was waiting to get confirmation on plans with family(presumably for Thursday) and then "forgot" to text me back that she couldn’t make it. I don’t think she forgot, or if she is, it means she isn’t that interested. In any event she suggested we meetup one of the next 2 weekends a she plans to visit to a sick friend in my area(she’s about an hour from my location- So u know I suggested a place for drinks halfway between us). Not sure if I really should meet up with her as it may be a lost cause . . . T suggested we meet up the following week to see how she reacts(if she is willing to postpone her visit by a week). . . . If she does, I plan tp suggest to meetup Saturday late afternoon/ early evening for a date of some sort(say museum followed by drinks, something that is a date) after she visits her friend. . . Not sure what to do. Thoughts? Or is it a total waste of time - ie. I'm purely friend zoned/ she's completely uninterested, which I tend to suspect.
Lansing Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Worth a shot. That way you won't be kicking yourself about "what if". But, since she suggested that weekend I wouldn't bother contacting her again if she doesn't make time for you. Don't plan it out too much. Just go for a drink or something casual and see how it goes. I am starting to cancel girls out of my life more quickly. There was a girl that I "liked" but then after our first date I realized there wasn't enough of a spark but I thought we could be friends still. Well, I contacted her last week and she texts me 2 days later saying "sorry for the delay, I got caught up with some stuff"... 2 days to respond... right then I knew I was wasting my time to even bother with a friendship.
Author Radpivo Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 Well, after I texted her that I couldn't make the weekend prior, she did put her visit off 2 weeks ago, and texted me that she tried to arrange to come up to see the sick friend last weekend but couldn't(she didn't realize he was in the hospital) and just texted me today that she's going to try to arrange to come up this weekend to see him in the hospital, and she'd like to meet me for "coffee or a cocktail to catch up." Not sure, should I just let her try to arrange something, and then plan around her scheduled meeting time or say, well "come in the later afternoon and let's catch up for cocktails afterward". Coffee would definitely put me in the dreaded "Friend Zone"(if I'm not already there) and a cocktail would provide the proper environment to see her full intentions/openess, but at the same time I'm sort of uncomfortable on forcing the timing(he's really sick . . .) so I'm not sure if he's even well in the late afternoon so don't want to come across as pushy . . . ideally though I should say, "let's plan on cocktails around 5pm if that works per his condition . . . or something like that . . ." Or maybe I should say, "why don't you just visit him this weekend so you focus, and let's meet up during the week or another time" . . . or that "I'd prefer to see you without all the gloom . . ." I really don't want to invest time to become her "Friend"
mammasita Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 IMO, you're already in the friend zone. True romantic interest never forgets to text back. Persistence sometimes pays off though if you feel she's worth it.
fitnessfan365 Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 The "friend zone" is an actual rejection after you've attempted to date someone. Whether it's one dates, three dates, etc.. But you haven't even met this woman yet. So she has to actually spend time w-you first before she can friend zone you. At this point, all you know is that she's a flaky person. If it were me, I wouldn't even bother w-her after she "forgot" to follow up. There are too many women available to meet online to be effected by it IMO. So if you never hear back from her, I'd recommend just focusing on other women. Since you haven't even met her yet, it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.
mammasita Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 The "friend zone" is an actual rejection after you've attempted to date someone. Whether it's one dates, three dates, etc.. But you haven't even met this woman yet. So she has to actually spend time w-you first before she can friend zone you. At this point, all you know is that she's a flaky person. If it were me, I wouldn't even bother w-her after she "forgot" to follow up. There are too many women available to meet online to be effected by it IMO. So if you never hear back from her, I'd recommend just focusing on other women. Since you haven't even met her yet, it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. they know eachother from work. Definitely friend zone status.
fitnessfan365 Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 they know eachother from work. Definitely friend zone status. Still though. They've never actually had a date, nor has she said she "just wants to be friends". Also, you can't expect her interest to be through the roof for a guy she hasn't even gone out with yet. But as I said. I judge people on their actions. So the second she "forgot" to follow up, I'd write her off as a flaky person and pursue other women if I were him.
Recommended Posts