In your experience the "he/she is just a friend" is it ever true?

[Marco Valerio]

I would like to know what are your experiences when facing this statement with former partners. In my experience, it was never true.

[d0nnivain]

It may very well be true at the time they say it but it rarely stays true.

[Clarkwg]

I would like to know what are your experiences when facing this statement with former partners. In my experience, it was never true.

 

My 1st long term relationship ended when I found out my gf had been going to see her ex who she was "just mates" with. She had been lying to me about where she was so I ended the relationship & 6 months later she was married to him.

 

My 2nd & last long term relationship involved my gf lying to me & going to stay over at her ex's house numerous times & lying to me about it, also years of meet ups, text, phone calls etc but she said I had absolutely nothing to worry about because they were "just good friends" & she could never be in a relationship with someone like that anyway.

She is now in a full on relationship with him.

 

If/when before I get involved with anyone else I will ask about ex's & if they are still in touch as "friends" I will not continue with it, I will make my excuse not go any further from that minute on.

 

I guess there is a chance someone somewhere may have a genuine friendship with an ex with absolutely no intentions of anything more but my experiences have scared me to the point I will never be involved in one of those triangles ever again.

 

Good luck!

[Chi townD]

Can he or she be "just a friend"? Sure, but very rarely. And this "friend" seems to inject themselves into your relationship enough if you have to question about there involvement.

 

 

This friend might be hers or his friend, but they are very rarely a friend to the relationship if they can't respect it's boundaries.

 

 

Point is; with people like this, there's usually a hidden agenda.

[awkwardme]

Agreed with everyone. I was actually good friends with this girl for months before we got together. She told me that she was going to be friends with her ex and asked me if it was okay with it. I had a bad feeling about it but went along because I never though she was going to be this cold hearted. We saw each other for 7 weeks but only 4 weeks of that was truly her. She never gave us a shot and went right back to him.

 

Word of advice to you if you are in this situation: PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!

[aloneinaz]

As these replies suggest, nothing good comes out of your partner being friends with an ex, especially a recent ex. My current GF's last BF did this to her behind her back. He stayed in touch with his ex then dumped my GF and married the ex.

 

 

I think the same thing can apply to your GF hanging out w/a male friend. It increases your odds of something bad happening, for sure.

 

 

In my case, I had a couple of female friends that I hung with before my GF entered my life. One became friends with my GF and they do things together too. The other I stopped hanging with because I don't think my GF cared for it and I really wouldn't want her to hang with a male friend either.

[jam67]

I have a few female friends that are actually just friends, but it's a very small number.

 

My ex had a lot of guy friends. Some of whom she dated many years earlier but for the most part I believe most of them were just friends. Minus one guy who she didn't talk about much, but I heard vaguely about. Turns out they just got in a relationship together. So... Watch out lol, it's def messing with my head big time right now.

[kreatine]

Well, as they say, there are always exceptions, but in my opinion no platonic friendship can stem from a previous romantic and/or sexual relationship. From the other replies it seems that this is the general experience as well...

[erklat]

Mostly I'm not communicating with women unless I'm at least a bit attracted to them.

 

So I don't have 'just friends'.

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

Quite simply, NO.

[Marco Valerio]

For what it seems, the moment you get suspicious and you have to ask about that friendship to your partner, is because something is not right. What I've learned is never trust someone who doesn't respect you or the relationship.

[RedButton]

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Edited July 28, 2015 by RedButton
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