minimariah Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 would you have a problem dating someone who has a close (best) friend of an opposite sex? would you rather date a man who doesn't have ANY close woman friends in fears of having an affair with them OR a man who does have close woman friends but knows himself well enough to recognize & respect the boundaries - would you be able to trust that man? is close opposite sex friendship(s) a red flag?
Dreamworld Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Translation: Guys fawn over her, follow her around like lovesick little puppies, are available at her beck and call, etc. Her male friends don't provide any "drama" because the second they do, they get branded with the dreaded "Nice Guy" label, accused of being a creeper or a jerk, and kicked to the curb. In the meantime, she's jealous/hyper-competitive when it comes to other chicks; literally can't stand to have another girl in the room who might take attention away from her. Kill it. Kill it with fire. To the original question: I think men and women can be opposite sex friends but there has to be a certain distance. I.e: not meet one on one too frequently. Be a part of a big group, or are childhood buddies (still not meet one on one too frequently) I have maintained many healthy platonic friendships with guys but there always been that distance. With guys who became my friends that for some reason or other I ended up seeing them one on one a bit too frequently, they wanted to go beyond friendship and when I said I didn't want to, they never talked to me again. To the quote above: yes, I have definitely seen women of this caliber. And in my opinion, if she likes having more guy friends, good for her, but with women that I have seen who always say "oh girls are bitches, I mesh with guys better etc etc", there has always been a reason as to why other females didn't like her. Just my opinion though. 1
Anderlie Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 I genuinely don't see the big deal. I have guy friends I used to hang out one on one with all the time when we lived in the same city. Nothing happened when I was single so I have no idea why that would change once I started seeing someone. My husband had female friends as well back then but lost touch when we moved, he's just not one for phone calls or emails - doesn't even have Facebook. I guess the big thing with us is that the friends were invited into our life as other posters have said. It really does help when your partner can see the dynamic play out and if they're mature, secure and reasonable they'll take it as it is and not put a bunch of meaning on it that isn't there.
road Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 There is no need to have opposite sex friends when in a relationship. That is the first step on the slippery slope to an affair. I think there are low self esteem issues. Look at me I can still pull the OSex in and keep them in my orbit.
craw Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 I find that I'm older, its hard to start a friendship with a guy. This is really risky grey area! But let me tell you, I have many male friends, friends that come to be with advice about how to deal with this girlfriends, usual bs talk - no attraction, no nonsense. These male friends I have known for years. Who wouldn't cross that boundary. Yes there are some male friends who are attracted to me. In some way, we are attracted to friends that we interact it. I don't mean in a sexual way. I do have female friends, they live far away from me, majority of my friends are guys. It is true, they are less dramatic and more fun to be around. I have been burned by females before in a friendship, I also intimate women. So yeah, it differs from friendship to friendship.
MoreAmore Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Some of my best friends are of the opposite gender. My boyfriend doesn't mind. I introduced him as soon as appropriate to the friends. I'm pansexual, so if that was going to be an issue to be friends with a person in a group for whom you feel attraction, it would be a very lonely life indeed. I find it incredibly sad and pathetic when someone says people cannot have opposite gender friends. It says more about the person saying that than any deeper truth.
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