bumbl3bee Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I'm sorry I don't know what I really want in response to this post....I'm just venting as I don't know who else to talk to.... My ex has been leading me on for a while giving me hope there is a chance we'll get back together. He kept saying 'I can't give you a definitive yes or no answer' but contacting me every day to check in. All this dragging on was making me feel worse and worse....my feelings being played with every day. Yesterday after not replying to his messaging for a week he text me 'so this is where we go our separate ways...?' I replied that yes, he had hurt me enough and I couldn't stand this limbo any more, each conversation was leading me on and causing me pain. He kept saying 'well it doesn't matter what I think anyway, it seems you've moved on' and we said goodbye. I'm crushed and heartbroken. I know it was my own fault for dragging things on and not keeping NC. I don't even know what to do with myself, I've always been bad with breakups and my last relationship ended in the same long drawn out way with me getting my hopes up stupidly. I just needed to vent....sorry for the long story. That awful knowledge that it is finally well and truly over...
Itspointless Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Breaking with someone is very hard to do, especially if you were the party that did not want all of this. You did well, be proud of yourself
aloneinaz Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Kudos for standing your ground and saying enough. No one should be strung along while someone "finds themselves".. You state this isn't the first time that you've had a LLOONNGG strung out ending to a relationship. Maybe this is what you needed to learn that once someone says they are not "feeling it" any longer, to say "ok" and wish them luck. You then vanish from their life to heal from it and move on. I think you're learning that when people end relationships and the other keeps hanging on, it's actually a turn off and an ego booster to the dumper. You'll learn that your self esteem and pride are WWAAYY more important than letting a person do that to you or you doing it to yourself. I personally know a lot of people who've been dumped and NEVER spoke to the dumper again, despite the dumper coming back to them wanting another shot. They understood that once a relationship ends, it should stay that way.
pillowpuffs Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Getting strung along is honestly cruel. You displayed a crazy amount of strength by finally deciding you've had enough and letting it be known. Do not blame yourself. When someone wants you and wants to be with you, they'll tell you that's what they want. No beating around the bush, no needing time. That's what I think at least. But you should be proud of yourself for standing your ground and being clear. Take care. You'll be okay. 1
Gus Grimly Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Why didn't you maintain NC after you broke up with him?
Author bumbl3bee Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 I wanted to work things out. Originally I thought that's what he wanted too. Then I realised I was being punished with being strung along. I am quite insecure as a person and this is probably why I find it hard to let things go - I don't think I'll find better and let guys disrespect me in the process.
LeslieKnope Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I wanted to work things out. Originally I thought that's what he wanted too. Then I realised I was being punished with being strung along. I am quite insecure as a person and this is probably why I find it hard to let things go - I don't think I'll find better and let guys disrespect me in the process. I can assure you you'll find better. Look, NC isn't easy. Most of us on here just take it one step at a time and still have the occasional screw up. The best thing you did for yourself - which is actually a sign of you growing out of your insecurity - is telling him you weren't willing to put up with it anymore and saying goodbye. So you're at NC ground zero - congratulations! It starts hard, has a few ups and downs, but gets better. The best part about genuine NC is that it's your opportunity for ME time. In your case, you know you still have some unresolved self-esteem issues. Find stuff that you're good at and enjoy it more - sports/exercise, music, art, whatever. I'm always amazed at how much better I feel after going for a run - and I always feel proud of myself too (especially in the sweltering summer months). You'll be okay.
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