Jump to content

What would you do in this situation [threesome request]?

Sara-Ann

By Sara-Ann
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Sara-Ann New Member

Sara-Ann

Posted
Posted

I wasn't sure where to post this and this section said "Everything else under the sun" so I'll try here.

 

I'll be quick, I just want to know what other people would do if they found themselves in the position I am in.

 

My best friend told me after a night of drinking that she wanted to sleep with my bf or a threesome with him and I. I brushed it off as drunk talk but it got the better of me and a few days later I asked her and she admitted it was all true. Of course I said no and she has promised there will never be another word and nothing will ever come of it. She has never betrayed my trust before so I have no real reason to doubt her but just the thought that she's looking at my bf and imagining things being taken further gets under my skin a little.

 

There is one complication, she works at the same place as my bf. He works on the road and she organizes his bookings along with the bookings of many others so they are on the phone regularly throughout the day.

 

He knows nothing of this situation and my plan was to leave it that way and trust that my best friend will be true to her word but now I find myself feeling like I am lying to him. I fear though that telling him will plant a seed in his head that (hopefully) was never there.

 

A bit of background; we are all 19/20, her and I have a history of sorts when we had a few threesomes back when we were 16 but since then have never been together. I don't believe she suggested what she did to be with me though, I think it's all about my bf.

 

Thoughts?

jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'd say unless you have some reason to actually be suspicious, let it be.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Redact full quote of starting post
  • Like 1
Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted

IMO, and even though I'm not surprised that this generation of 20 yr olds have more notches on their bedpost than I have in my life, I think it is sad that some people have reduced sex to just "anything goes" to the point that before 20 they already have threesomes under their belt.

 

I think it's sad that your friend has such a cavalier attitude as to who she is intimate with...to me that is not a "friend" - not cuz she's driving a wedge between the intimacy with you and your bf, but because she is so "loose".

 

My "friends" are a reflection of "me" (aka "birds of a feather saying....") and I would not like to consider as a "friend" someone who is so cavalier about having sex in my life.

 

But then again, if I'm correct you engaged in some threesomes with her, so not sure what your concern is, because I'm assuming you also are very cavalier when it comes to sex?

 

Threesomes and/or the introduction of a third person (ie cuckholding) in the bedroom is not something I'd be into if I'm with a man I give a hoot about.

 

As a side note, seeing that you and your "friend" at such a young age have a cavalier attitude when it comes to who you share yourself with intimately, maybe it's time to reconsider the long term reprecussions for such an attitude.

  • Like 6
TaraMaiden2 Established Member

TaraMaiden2

Posted
Posted
IMO, and even though I'm not surprised that this generation of 20 yr olds have more notches on their bedpost than I have in my life, I think it is sad that some people have reduced sex to just "anything goes" to the point that before 20 they already have threesomes under their belt.

 

.....

But then again, if I'm correct you engaged in some threesomes with her, so not sure what your concern is, because I'm assuming you also are very cavalier when it comes to sex?

 

...Threesomes and/or the introduction of a third person (ie cuckholding) in the bedroom is not something I'd be into if I'm with a man I give a hoot about.

I have to agree, Gloria.

OP, you need to consider something very, very carefully: Not one of the three of you actually has a fully-developed brain, and you're all, at some point, likely to make rash and hasty decisions.

 

Here's what I mean....

 

You may believe you're rational and cautious and that this doesn't apply to you, but this is anatomical Biology, and I'm afraid it does.

 

Please consider thinking carefully about your opinions and behaviour.

I'm using 'your' as a group one, I'm not singling you out for particular attention.

 

It may also help to talk to your girl friend, and to reinforce your wishes, but also air your concerns and emphasise this is definitely NOT something you ever want to explore, and her interest makes you uncomfortable.

 

Think, think, think, about everything carefully, before you do anything.

 

That said (and honestly, I'm not being a party-pooper) this is a relationship you're conducting at a relatively young age, and while I'm not saying this is the case in every case, it's unlikely to be the be-all and end-all relationship of your entire lifetime.

Your BF is definitely currently 'the one' (and you should protect that) but it's highly unlikely that in the long run, he will end up being a permanent 'one'.

 

But be sensible, and 'respect' sex.

 

I know it sounds daft, but don't let your life get messy.

  • Like 3
S_A Established Member

S_A

Posted
Posted

GF was in the same position as you, except it was just a friend that asked her (as opposed to a best friend). We all had alcohol as it was the friend's 30th Bday (GF and I were late 20's). The friend asked both of us to our face, I stayed quiet, and my GF basically said "No, not going to happen." That was the end of it.

 

My concern in your situation is your friend's and BF's youth.

  • Like 2
Giggle Established Member

Giggle

Posted
Posted

My friend introduced the idea. She's the one with the guy. ;) but we are all afraid it would Fk up our relationship and the friendship is far more important than a night of fun.

 

I wouldn't hold it against her that she's thought it. Hell you think he's good looking, why shouldn't she notice? And you've done it before. I'd let it go. You said no. If she's a real friend, she's dropped it. I couldn't not tell my bf, but beware his thinking its a great idea and you wanting to clobber him for it. If he's a jerk, you'll know awfully quick.

 

My friend knows I've looked at them both. It's not an issue. It doesn't make her insecure because she knows I would never try anything with him. But yeah I notice.

  • Like 2
CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

Posted
Posted (edited)

There is one complication, she works at the same place as my bf. He works on the road and she organizes his bookings along with the bookings of many others so they are on the phone regularly throughout the day.

 

He knows nothing of this situation

 

I am willing to bet even money that not only does he know about all about it, but the two of them are in cahoots about organizing it. Coming from her, it softens the blow and doesn't shock you as much.

Edited by CarrieT
  • Like 6
preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

I wouldn't be assuming he knew nothing about this. I'd be assuming he maybe had a hand in it and that those two have been talking.

 

Anyway, the answer is definitely no. Threesomes are best between parties who have no emotional involvement between them. It always will get messed up. Tell her no and tell her if you ever find out she's gone after your man, that will be the last she sees of you. I would assume your man knows and after you tell her off about it, see if he starts acting weird or scared or different. I wouldn't tell him about it on the off chance he doesn't know, though, because it will only put ideas in his head. And stop inviting her to anything if he's there. She is after him.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Sara-Ann New Member

Sara-Ann

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I'm assuming you also are very cavalier when it comes to sex?

 

I'm sorry but that is just not true. Yes we had some threesomes with some random guy we met at a party while on holidays that lasted a full two weeks but besides that I have always been a one woman/man kind of girl. I enjoy sex but I wouldn't say I was cavalier about it.

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted
I wouldn't be assuming he knew nothing about this. I'd be assuming he maybe had a hand in it and that those two have been talking.

 

Anyway, the answer is definitely no. Threesomes are best between parties who have no emotional involvement between them. It always will get messed up. Tell her no and tell her if you ever find out she's gone after your man, that will be the last she sees of you. I would assume your man knows and after you tell her off about it, see if he starts acting weird or scared or different. I wouldn't tell him about it on the off chance he doesn't know, though, because it will only put ideas in his head. And stop inviting her to anything if he's there. She is after him.

 

Agreed, on all counts.

  • Like 1
Tayla Established Member

Tayla

Posted
Posted

Cavalier:

 

At a party...check

With a random stranger- check

participates in threesome- -check

 

Defeats the always statement- check.

Answer- cavalier.

 

Not brushing off the current circumstance you are incurring, bringing to light the previous behavior and how its brought you to this current road block again.

 

My advice: Be direct with your friend and make it clear what your real goal is with your current BF. Sometimes our past actions determine our current dilemma, maybe your friend still sees you as that person from the past ....or maybe this is entirely her fantasy. we each have them, we just sometimes do not act upon them for rational & valid reasons.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...