chowmander Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Hi guys Cut the story short, Theres this girl (common friend group) that i've been seeing for a while now, catching movies and dinners and exchaging texts regularly.I feel that we have some mutual attraction just that maybe we are both more introverted and won't take the step to talk to each other about it. (i could be wrong, but lets not get into details as it's not the focus of the post) I asked her to join me for dinner tomorrow and she agreed with not much hesitation. i'm hoping that i will grow a pair and let her know how i feel about this relationship or at least settle with where we are heading i'm not a guy that's very good with words, so just want some advice from both the gents and ladies here how does the below sound "So, we've been hanging out for a while now and i don't want to scare you or anything but i really enjoy spending time together with you. Problem is i don't just want to spend this time as friends and i was hoping you'd be my girlfriend...." A bit blunt?? any type of advice would be nice Tks!
StalwartMind Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I'm personally a fan of natural conversation when in spoken form, so I would actually encourage you to take advantage of your dialogue at one point, and find a way to express to her how you feel. If you however do need to rehearse a sentence such as that, then you can use what you said or perhaps consider to rephrase it a little bit, to make it be more subtle but with the same content. "(Her Name), I have truly enjoyed your company and I want you to know that my feelings for you have grown. When I am with you or think of you, I want something more than a friendship. I understand if this is a bit sudden and it's fine with me if you need time to think about it". In case you actually are considering to write her instead, which by all means is an option too, (sometimes this can be a better option, especially if one or both involved parts are shy or introverted), I would perhaps consider to even rephrase my own suggestion and add some more. It's difficult to write the most ideal suggestion for you, as it helps a lot to know the person you are writing things to. Either way I personally find it very decent to let people know your true feelings, without it seeming desperate or being pushy. By all means, your own written words may do the trick just fine, again it's hard for any of us to tell. I'm sure most would use their own words, and we all have difference preferences in regards to that. All the best of luck to you, I think you are doing the right call in making the move, especially if you both may be passive. If she has the same feelings for you, then she very well might be very overjoyed that you found the courage to ask her. For all you know she may be waiting exactly for that, which is also why I feel it's good to rather make a move than not. Life is too short to not take some risks. Again hope you get a positive result no matter what you choose to do! 2
bolase Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Don't say all that, just write her a note or text or in person, if you are feeling brave, say: I'd like to take you on a date, if you're up for it? Don't allude to your 'just friends' status or how long you've been thinking about it or anything. She won't need time to think as she will have considered any feelings already. If she says yes them awesome. If she asks why, stalls you, or declines, just sit back - you don't need to over explain this really. Give her some space but be polite if the answer is no or uncertain. Good luck! Either way good on you.. Never try, never know!
coryreply Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I agree with stalwart. I'm a fan of moving within a natural flow of conversation. You don't want to come off rehearsed. Something else to consider, I would definitely not say anything about being scared. If someone said that to me, I would start wondering if there's anything about you that I should be scared of.
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