Once men are in a relationship is it typical for them to ditch their female friends?

[LifeandPerseverance]

The backstory: I have two friends who are brothers. I've known them for a couple years. The one my age and I have been flirting since last July off and on. But I was moving across the country, so even though we still texted and sent pictures daily, nothing could come of it. Over the fall, this culminated into sexting several times, and risqué...things. I've always felt like something would happen if we were left alone, but usually when I'm with him in person it's in a group, so I've never had a chance to test that theory.

 

Since last july, he has been single. And he has sent me weekly post workout half naked pics, complimented my appearance and we banter and text. I also have since moved back to where we're from. And with summer gearing up, there's starting to finally become opportunities to see him and the family (they have a cabin here) every weekend.

 

The other brother snapchats me, too, though not as much, and it's always been friendly and appropriate, and several times a week. When he was in a relationship, he wasn't AS friendly with me, but still friendly. But since he's been single the snapchats and texts from him have been much more frequent.

 

The last time I saw them was 4th of July. The older brother had just started seeing a girl.

 

Later that week..I noticed I'm getting no snaps suddenly from the brother I'm interested in. None--not even the typical ones he spams with me with. Nothing. He's not on social media hiatus--he's still posting snap stories. I know snapchat shouldn't be a big deal, but this guy is the king of snapchat, and to go even 2 days without one from him is odd.

The other brother has all but stopped snapping me as well. But I notice he's still posting snap stories, and they often feature the girl he's just started spending a lot of time with, after being single for a long time.

They're not really responding to the snaps I send them occasionally, either--which is odd. The older brother will, briefly, but the guy I've had a thing for? Nothing. Which is unheard of.

 

I'm now left wondering if I offended them somehow (unlikely, as the day after I saw them, everything was fine), or...the more likely option..They've both started dating someone. Seriously enough that sending shirtless selfies to a girl you sext is suddenly no longer appropriate.

 

Guys..Do your friendships with your female friends go out the window when you start seeing someone? Is this typical? I feel like I've been ditched by two of my closest friends--guys I usually talk to several times a week, and I'm trying to figure out what the heck happened!

[casey.lives]

i don't make platonic friendships with people im attracted to. i date people im attracted to. friends are friends. prospects are prospects .. so i keep my friends but my friends are never prospects.

[TaraMaiden2]

Yes, it's absolutely typical. They were using you as a vent for their testosterone-filled sexual enjoyment (I know nothing physical happened, but they just enjoyed strutting their stuff to you, a single female, and one who paid attention and reciprocated).

Once the "real deal" happened, they didn't need to express their machismo to YOU any more.

 

Besides, girlfriends can get very touchy about their BFs texting and sexting another woman. You're off their radar for these two reasons.

And it's normal and natural that you should be, in their books.

[Anderlie]

My husband and I still have opposite sex friends and neither of us scaled back but that's because all our interactions are appropriate. Even mild flirting really isn't too bad if that's how you are with that particular friend. I wouldn't call you and the brother you like mild though, you're obviously interested in him and he's made the call to back away because your interactions were inappropriate if he's seeing someone. I'd be hopping mad if my guy was sending shirtless selfies to another woman.

[SummerDreams]

What I want to know is, why do you let yourself become the girl they don't take seriously but use as a sexual relief?

[Els]

I'm generally in the 'people should keep their friends' camp, but you sound more like a 'girl they sext' (your words, not mine) than a friend or a sister. Most of us manage to keep most of our opposite sex friends after we get into a R because our communication with them was actually platonic and within boundaries to start with. If your communication consists largely of half-naked pics and sexting, obviously that has to end once they get into a R.