SJ69 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Hi all!!! My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 9mos now and everything is pretty smooth, give or take regular relationship troubles but everything is usually great. However, recently my ex of almost a year and a half has resurfaced after about 2 years. Her and I were each other's first loves, ideal couple to everyone, and I completely trashed that from cheating, etc and she broke up with me and didn't speak to me until about 8 months later, as deserving as I was. But she would resurface to see how I was doing and we'd speak for about a week on and off but now she's back and she's talking about the old relationship constantly, got my number again, just kind of out of the usual for her and she's aware I'm with someone. Should I think anything of this? And my current gf does not like her around at all and if she knew of the extent that she contacts me now recently and what she speaks of (mainly her and I's old relationship or something similar to the past) she would be even more mad. Am I over thinking or what's going on? What should I do?
Unlucky_I_Guess Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 It doesn't sound to me like you're over-thinking at all. However, you're going down a dangerous slope with your current gf if you allow this contact to continue. Eventually she WILL find out how aggressively your ex gf is pursuing you and it will not end well. If your current relationship is great, then you need to decide if the ego stroke from your ex is worth it. I don't think it is unless you seriously want to get back with your ex, in which case you need to let the current one go before she gets too hurt. 1
Author SJ69 Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 It doesn't sound to me like you're over-thinking at all. However, you're going down a dangerous slope with your current gf if you allow this contact to continue. Eventually she WILL find out how aggressively your ex gf is pursuing you and it will not end well. If your current relationship is great, then you need to decide if the ego stroke from your ex is worth it. I don't think it is unless you seriously want to get back with your ex, in which case you need to let the current one go before she gets too hurt. I just want to know why my ex is acting like this. It's so strange and unpredicted. But no I want my current gf, there is no point in retracting and my ex seems to love the satisfaction of speaking to me again or something.
aloneinaz Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I just want to know why my ex is acting like this. It's so strange and unpredicted. But no I want my current gf, there is no point in retracting and my ex seems to love the satisfaction of speaking to me again or something. No, it's that you're a challenge to her again as she knows you're in a committed relationship and she can't have you right now. So, she enjoys contacting you to keep her in your mind (like it's apparently doing). Personally, if you two exes check in w/each other a few times a year to see how you're both doing, I don't see the harm. I'd just keep it short and professional, like you're talking to a platonic old buddy. I don't think we have to NEVER speak to an ex again. You just have to have set boundaries with them.
erklat Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 It's Better if you speak to them never again. There is no point in indulging yourself in fake niceties .Since you're failed romantic partners any form of contact is just unnatural .
coryreply Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Is your ex currently single or also in a relationship?
erklat Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Is your ex currently single or also in a relationship? You ask me ?
billion Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 It may be a delayed closure to have a friendly exchange?
Phoenixashes Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Since that relationship ended with you cheating, I would be safe and not even entertain the familiar.
Author SJ69 Posted July 29, 2015 Author Posted July 29, 2015 So my girlfriend and I have almost been together 9 months and recently my ex has came back around. My current girlfriend doesn't want me to speak to her at all and this is also unusual for my ex to be doing. She usually just comes around to say hi every summer and now she's here but she's texting me and is constantly bringing up the old relationship good or bad. How should I take what she's doing and also what should I do about speaking to her, if I should be at all. Also, why is she even back around? Thanks for all your help!
stillafool Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Who cares why she is back around. She's your ex and should remain in your past. Tell her you have a new girlfriend and you don't think it's appropriate to receive texts from her. If she texts you anyway don't respond. Delete her from everything. She is an ex for a reason and nothing has changed. Don't lose your new girl for an old ex. 1
stillafool Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Why would your girl want to speak with your ex? Of course she doesn't. Delete your ex and let her remain in your past.
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Find out what she wants & remind her that you're with someone and you have boundaries. I doubt she has anything of real importance to tell you. I'd avoid talking to her at all really. Save all your texts & refuse to talk over the phone or in person.
Chi townD Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Funny thing about some Ex's, they don't want us, but they don't want anyone else to have us either. Your current girlfriend knows this and is trying to safeguard the relationship. 1
Lorenza Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 So my girlfriend and I have almost been together 9 months and recently my ex has came back around. My current girlfriend doesn't want me to speak to her at all and this is also unusual for my ex to be doing. She usually just comes around to say hi every summer and now she's here but she's texting me and is constantly bringing up the old relationship good or bad. How should I take what she's doing and also what should I do about speaking to her, if I should be at all. Also, why is she even back around? Thanks for all your help! I wouldn't see any problems with saying hi to an ex or even meeting up for a cup of tea, if both are way over the past relationship and don't bring anything up. But this doesn't seem to be the case, since you both seem to be too curious about each other. If she brings up the past despite you being in a relationship and happy, then she can be back around as much as she wants - she has no right to try to stir the water for you. Say hi, be short, polite and then let her leave you alone.
Ariess10 Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 I agree the ex is a ex for a reason leave that in the past , there is a lot wrong with meeting up with your ex when you have a gf !! ITS CALLED TRUST and I wouldn't be very happy if my gf met up with her ex .. It would be the end of our realtionship
mightycpa Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 just text back to her something like this It's nice to hear from you, but why are you blowing up my phone?You won't get much of an answer, but the texts should greatly diminish in terms of frequency and subject matter. You don't really say, but I'm guessing that's what you want. As for your GF, to me, that's an indication she doesn't trust you. That whole "don't talk to her" **** would be an issue for me. I wouldn't take well to it. 1
stillafool Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 You should tell your ex to stop contacting you. It's not fair to your current gf. If you don't handle it soon your current gf will accuse you of cheating and she would be correct.
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