smackie9 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Wow! A big judgmental are we on this beautiful Sunday!! Nailed it lol. 1
kendahke Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 (edited) I'd like to ask another question though: How can I tell a guy is only interested in having sex? This is the second time this has happened to me and it's made me realize the average guy can become the best liar and faker in the world if he thinks he can get sex from a girl. I really just miss being in a relationship, or at least talking to a guy that I'm into. Advice? For the record he is 24 and I'm 18. You need to ask him point blank what his intentions are when the topic of him getting into the pink comes up. Is he wanting a hit-it-and-quit-it? Is he wanting a FWB? Is he minded to be in a relationship? And this isn't a question you ask one time and then drop the panties. You need to suss this out of men if your radar is that out of whack--or not well honed due to inexperience--so that you don't end up farther away from what it is that you want. Understand this, though: you can.not. sex a man into a relationship. It never works. They get sex, you get no relationship. A man who wants a relationship with you acts like it from the jump. You cannot mistake it unless you're really dull. If you've got an itch you want to scratch--and you're being honest about it to yourself and with the guy--then go ahead and get it scratched---but own what you are doing and the reasons why you're doing it. Don't use sex to machine an outcome because it may not happen the way you think it should. Edited July 27, 2015 by kendahke 2
MovingOnIsHard Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Because I want to give smackie the satisfaction of being right on the Internet in front of a bunch of strangers: My friend and I (as well as LS and a couple of other friends) chalked it up to him just wanting a one night stand. I almost went off on him but decided it's not worth my time and headspace. He's yet to give me the time of day. He'll probably get back to me when he's bored and horny, or not at all. What a shame, he seemed extremely genuine. Thank you all for your help. I'd like to ask another question though: How can I tell a guy is only interested in having sex? This is the second time this has happened to me and it's made me realize the average guy can become the best liar and faker in the world if he thinks he can get sex from a girl. I really just miss being in a relationship, or at least talking to a guy that I'm into. Advice? For the record he is 24 and I'm 18. I'm not sure how long you have been seeing each other, but here's my two cents: The only way to know if a guy is only interested in having sex you without being disappointed is by holding it off in the beginning stages of dating. If he disappears after a week or two without being able to sex you, then there's your answer. A man who is truly interested in getting to know you will wait for as long as you are comfortable with.. When you finally have sex, he will become emotionally closer with you, not fade out. He will tell you he can't wait to see you again and make plans accordingly. What will also help you in the future to avoid such disappointments is to identify in yourself what you are REALLY looking for in a man: An FWB or a relationship? It can't be both. 1
introverted1 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I'd like to ask another question though: How can I tell a guy is only interested in having sex? This is the second time this has happened to me and it's made me realize the average guy can become the best liar and faker in the world if he thinks he can get sex from a girl. I really just miss being in a relationship, or at least talking to a guy that I'm into. First, figure out what you want. Then, make sure your actions aling with your desires. You were either trying to fool yourself or him or us, but you previously said: We had a ton of sex. (first time sleeping with him, completely mutual about sex, agreed that sex did not = relationship I don't know why a woman wanting/seeking out sex actively is a bad thing. Such a double standard these days... :rolleyes: Anyway, I wasn't trying to start a relationship with this guy From what you wrote, it appears you green-lighted a hookup and now want to know how to pursue a r/s. I know lots of people here will chime in with stories of first date sex that led to a r/s, but I suspect those guys would also have been fine with 5th date sex (or whatever) and a r/s still would have developed. Point being, don't rush the sex if what you are after is a r/s. And don't be afraid to talk about expectations before you jump in the sack.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Thank yall for the responses. He read my text/snap and never replied so it truly is done and gone. Just to clear the air it was 4 messages in about 2-3 days, not 24 hours. Oh wellllll. What did you say in these messages? (Sorry if you've already mentioned this and I missed it) But yes, I'd agree that his interest has waned.
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