jeanparnet92 Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 So I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend of 10 months last month. It was a good relationship overall but my ex had a very bizzare relationship philosphy. In other words, she was a commitment-phobe. She wanted to be with me emotionally but not physically, as in she could see other guys just for physical pleasure. As stupid as I was accepted to this, mainly because of how in love I was with her at the time. I assumed it wouldnt last forever. Anyway, after about 7 months together, we finally decided to become exclusive, however, she refused to acknowledge us as boyfriend-girlfriend and still referred to us as "friends" and demanded that we go on a break for the summer vacation where we are still together emotionally but not physically. At this point I was getting absolutely fed up. This girl expected me to be perfect for her as in even if I messed up once for the smallest thing she would get enraged at me, but she would refuse to commit to me and not be with other guys physically (she didnt do it very much, the would only flirt or kiss and she did it 3 times). Anyway, one day I got fed up with her going crazy complaining about how she felt it was pointless to commit and etc to so broke up with her. She was super saddened by this because she lost a great guy so she decided to cut her BS and finally become normal about commitment. We are still friends and we still talk, and she has told me that she is waiting for this new guy she has been seeing to ask her to be her boyfriend so she can commit. This pisses me off so much because i always did everything I could for her to commit and was the best partner ever to her but she always was stubborn and refused. now she tells me how wrong she was and how terribly she treated me. Alarmed by this news, I flew down 500 miles to where she lived and tried to get back together with her, but she wouldnt because she "lost trust in me" since I left her and that we would try again down the road if she is single. Im over this whole thing now and I've moved on rather well, but how do I not get jealous about this? I broke up with her for the commitment reason and now shes completely changed and wont take me back. If she had just commited to me when we were together we would have lasted so much longer. How do I get over this jealousy?
Kano Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 No contact. Time and distance will see to it that jealousy will subside. It sounded like she needed your love and attention for her own insecurities and used it against you, to keep you right where she wanted you to be, while she went off to have fun elsewhere. Don't allow her to demean you like that again. She's trying to keep you on a string still, knowing you care for her and leaving you there as back-up should her relationship fail. Don't give her that satisfaction. Don't think for a minute you done anything wrong - she was completely abusive of your feelings by sleeping around whilst with you. You done the right thing breaking up with her and now leave her to form more destructive relationships because it will come back to bite her on the arse on day and by then, you'll have moved on and will hopefully be with someone far more worthy of your affection.
ManyDissapoint Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 So I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend of 10 months last month. It was a good relationship overall but my ex had a very bizzare relationship philosphy. In other words, she was a commitment-phobe. She wanted to be with me emotionally but not physically, as in she could see other guys just for physical pleasure. As stupid as I was accepted to this, mainly because of how in love I was with her at the time. I assumed it wouldnt last forever. Anyway, after about 7 months together, we finally decided to become exclusive, however, she refused to acknowledge us as boyfriend-girlfriend and still referred to us as "friends" and demanded that we go on a break for the summer vacation where we are still together emotionally but not physically. At this point I was getting absolutely fed up. This girl expected me to be perfect for her as in even if I messed up once for the smallest thing she would get enraged at me, but she would refuse to commit to me and not be with other guys physically (she didnt do it very much, the would only flirt or kiss and she did it 3 times). Anyway, one day I got fed up with her going crazy complaining about how she felt it was pointless to commit and etc to so broke up with her. She was super saddened by this because she lost a great guy so she decided to cut her BS and finally become normal about commitment. We are still friends and we still talk, and she has told me that she is waiting for this new guy she has been seeing to ask her to be her boyfriend so she can commit. This pisses me off so much because i always did everything I could for her to commit and was the best partner ever to her but she always was stubborn and refused. now she tells me how wrong she was and how terribly she treated me. Alarmed by this news, I flew down 500 miles to where she lived and tried to get back together with her, but she wouldnt because she "lost trust in me" since I left her and that we would try again down the road if she is single. Im over this whole thing now and I've moved on rather well, but how do I not get jealous about this? I broke up with her for the commitment reason and now shes completely changed and wont take me back. If she had just commited to me when we were together we would have lasted so much longer. How do I get over this jealousy? Reading this I was cringing so hard. How could you let your woman bang other dudes in the relationship? Anyway, sorry to break the news to you but she's not a commitment phobe, but didn't want to commit to YOU. This person is a hot mess emotionally, there's nothing to be jealous of. It's hard but move on and don't ever accept a relationship that makes you uncomfortable like that again.
Unlucky_I_Guess Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 This x1000. She's a train wreck. You need to get off the tracks and quickly.
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