So ladies, have you slept in a bed with man and have it just be platonic?

[stupidkittten]

I've done this a lot and so have most of my friends.

[Got it]

Thank you for your honesty...

 

I firmly believe that you cannot be "intimate" with someone w/o having sex. If someone is cuddling up next to you on the regular w/o it ending up in sex, something is up.

 

Why do you assume sleeping in the same bed entails cuddling? You can sleep in the same bed with someone and not touch them.

[Got it]

Is there any reason that this type of activity didn't happen when sober? Also how in the world do two drunk people end up in bed and not have sex?

 

Cuz it's college and doesn't mean people jump in the sack and have sex. It is going to vary by person but most of my friends were guys in high school and college and things were platonic. I just hung around with them.

 

But even with a few guys I was dating, I didn't have sex with them. We would mess around, make out, but having sex was/is a big deal for me. I am closing in on middle age and have only had sex with two men both whom I married.

 

Casual sex just isn't something I have ever done. Mess around? Sure!

[regine_phalange]

Yes. During a party I was talking with a male friend about interesting things while drinking wine. Truth is we drank it a bit fast and it must've been of bad quality. Because we became really dizzy but we were mentally sober. We just couldn't get up so we ended up sleeping for a while, until we got better. Only our heads touched, nothing else.

[Toodaloo]

Yes and still do if it not going to be disrespectful to their or my partner...

[Popsicle]

Yes, once or twice back when I was young and stupid. But the thing is, I KNEW the guys liked me though. I just denied it outwardly because I could.

[Els]

Man. I must just be a prude, because there's no way I'd ever sleep in the same bed with a platonic male friend!

 

But you seem to assume that everyone is having sex all the time, don't you? Do you think it's healthy to be fixating this much on how much/little sex everyone else is having?

[AVarma]

But you seem to assume that everyone is having sex all the time, don't you? Do you think it's healthy to be fixating this much on how much/little sex everyone else is having?

 

Healthy? Probably not. Understandable given the circumstances, probably. I mean guys normally think about sex. Those like who have yet to experience it especially at my age think about it even more.

[d0nnivain]

Is there any reason that this type of activity didn't happen when sober? Also how in the world do two drunk people end up in bed and not have sex?

 

As a young girl before I grew into & embraced my own sexuality, the alcohol lowered my inhibitions enough to let me experiment but I was not so drunk that I didn't know what I was doing. I always had enough sense to draw boundaries. The alcohol also increased my libido & desire for some human contact. It's a dangerous game some young inexperienced girls play . . .they do these things so they have an excuse that the sex was not their fault

 

 

As an adult I understand my actions but me in some very vulnerable positions & I am incredibly lucky that all of the boys accepted my boundaries & didn't push the issue. Many times there was some attraction so there was kissing & petting but a few times it was just I was too drunk to go home & buddies tucked me into their beds so I wouldn't get hit by a car trying to walk home drunk.

[RoseVille]

Can't say that I've sat in the lap and then slept in a bed with a guy I was just friends with. Maybe one behavior, but not both.

 

I would think this girl knows there's sexual tension between them, and is perhaps using it to her advantage in some way.

 

Probably a young person thing, either in general or relevant to generation. In my generation, even as a young person, 'bedrooms' or their mobile equivalents, were for, if there was sexual tension of any sort, whether mutual or not, private sexual relations. A woman never slept in a man's bed if she wasn't interested in him sexually.

 

Having had many female friends for the 20 years or so I was a virgin after sexual maturity, none ever slept in my bed nor I theirs; none offered and I asked none. I don't recall any sitting on my lap either but my mind might be fuzzy on that. The only females I remember sitting on my lap, other than girlfriends, were friend's kids.

 

Perhaps boundaries are more relaxed now.

 

When did you lose your virginity?

 

Totally agree that boundaries are more relaxed now, in a not-so-good way, IMO.

[Toodaloo]

Healthy? Probably not. Understandable given the circumstances, probably. I mean guys normally think about sex. Those like who have yet to experience it especially at my age think about it even more.

 

I have done it drunk and sober.

 

If the relationship is purely friendship and there is absolutely nothing there then its really not a problem.

 

I would not sleep in the same bed as a man with a girlfriend/ wife out of respect to them and again if I were "taken" I would not do it out of respect to my own partner.

 

It is possible to be in the same room and do normal things with the opposite sex with out having to have sex with them...

[RoseVille]

Yes, once or twice back when I was young and stupid. But the thing is, I KNEW the guys liked me though. I just denied it outwardly because I could.

 

Yup, unless it's platonic both ways, it's not really platonic. And usually they both know who likes who the other uses that to their advantage.

[RainDown]

I've shared a bed with both female and male companions, usually when traveling or other get-togethers where space was limited. There was nothing sexual about it.

[darkbloom]

It happens all the time to me. It's usually when I'm traveling and I need a place to crash. Nothing sexual about it. Or if Ive had too much to drink, I will crash wherever and it doesn't lead to anything sexual with my male friends. All of my male friends are trustworthy though.

 

I draw the line if they have a girlfriend though. I don't do drama.

[MissBee]

I don't really have a lot of platonic female friends so pardon my ignorance but I was at a party recently and one of my friends had a girl sitting in his lap. I assumed they were at least hooking up but he told me later they were just friends. Apparently they slept in the same bed but nothing happened. I think this whole thing is BS but he seems serious.

 

Does this actually happen? Have any of you ladies sat in a man's lap or slept in the same bed as him and have it be just platonic? He's in college so maybe this is a college thing but it still surprised me.

 

I personally don't sit on male friends' laps but it's possible for you to do so and it's platonic. I also don't habitually sleep in bed with male friends either. I have slept in bed with a male friend once in college because he came to a party at my school and it got late and he was too tired to drive back to his college, which was about 2 hours away, so he spent the night and nothing happened. We didn't cuddle either. Why would we?

 

I'm not very touchy feely with my male friends. I'm more so that way with my female friends, but with my guy friends, esp if they aren't single, I do have some boundaries where I don't generally sit on their laps, sleep in their bed and things like that.

[RecentChange]

Yes, many times back in high school and college.

 

But I have alway been a bit of a "tom boy" and have always had close male friends.

 

I can't count how many times I shared a be with my close college friend - after parties, road trips, camping. NO spooning or cuddling though, and never sitting on laps or any of that - zero flirting.

 

I would "get" with his friends - and he would get with mine, but we always were strictly friends - and after knowing him for over 20 now - I am confident that there have never been any mixed signals / emotions.

 

And I have shared a bed with other guys - if we are just sharing a bed - that's all we are doing, again, no spooning etc, and I keep my clothes on.

 

But that was all when I was younger - don't really party so hard that I need a place to crash any more - that's what Uber is for