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So ladies, have you slept in a bed with man and have it just be platonic?

AVarma

By AVarma
in General Relationship Discussion

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AVarma Established Member

AVarma

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I don't really have a lot of platonic female friends so pardon my ignorance but I was at a party recently and one of my friends had a girl sitting in his lap. I assumed they were at least hooking up but he told me later they were just friends. Apparently they slept in the same bed but nothing happened. I think this whole thing is BS but he seems serious.

 

Does this actually happen? Have any of you ladies sat in a man's lap or slept in the same bed as him and have it be just platonic? He's in college so maybe this is a college thing but it still surprised me.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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I've sat on so many male friend laps that it was nothing more and yes slept in the same bed many times when it was just friends.

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Grumpybutfun Established Member

Grumpybutfun

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I'm not a lady, but I've slept in same bed with female friends and had female friends sit on lap and it wasn't anything more than friendship. Women are people...human beings...and can be friends with me without any sexual overtones. I enjoy females without seeing them as sex objects or romantic interests to fulfill certain roles.

G

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carhill Established Member

carhill

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Probably a young person thing, either in general or relevant to generation. In my generation, even as a young person, 'bedrooms' or their mobile equivalents, were for, if there was sexual tension of any sort, whether mutual or not, private sexual relations. A woman never slept in a man's bed if she wasn't interested in him sexually.

 

Having had many female friends for the 20 years or so I was a virgin after sexual maturity, none ever slept in my bed nor I theirs; none offered and I asked none. I don't recall any sitting on my lap either but my mind might be fuzzy on that. The only females I remember sitting on my lap, other than girlfriends, were friend's kids.

 

Perhaps boundaries are more relaxed now.

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AVarma Established Member

AVarma

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Wow ok. This seems to be a lot more common than I expected. Out of curiosity is this something you did when younger, like in college or 20's, or is it something that even as grown adults you do? The guy and girl in my OP are in college.

 

 

Perhaps boundaries are more relaxed now.

 

That's what I'm thinking which is why I asked them if this was a college thing or if they still do it as adults.

Grumpybutfun Established Member

Grumpybutfun

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Wow ok. This seems to be a lot more common than I expected. Out of curiosity is this something you did when younger, like in college or 20's, or is it something that even as grown adults you do? The guy and girl in my OP are in college.

 

 

 

That's kind of what I'm thinking which is why I asked them if this was a college thing or if they still do it.

 

 

Before, during and after college. Completely stopped after meeting my wife out of respect for my wife. I'm in my forties and it was common when single for me.

G

Divasu Established Member

Divasu

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Yes. My male room mate slept in my bed once with me in it. Nothing happened. We were both single. If one or both are taken, me thinks it could be inappropriate.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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OP, I should add a caveat since my response appears outlier. All examples of female friends were either married or in relationships. I didn't have any single female friends past the age of 18 or so. The vast majority were married.

 

I can point to two examples more recently, both with LS female friends, one where I slept on the couch at her apartment a few times; with the other, we shared a cabin and I slept upstairs in the loft while she had the main bedroom downstairs. As far as I know, both women were single but one can't be completely sure about that stuff.

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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How do I respond to this thread without being insulting?

 

Gloria25 doesn't play this sh&&t...

 

I don't believe in platonic relationships and I'm not playing stupid games with men. The only time I'm cuddling up next to a guy is if Im dating him. Even "if" I'm cuddling up to him in bed w/o sex "that" night, we've probably already had sex and this is a nite we're tired or something.

 

No offense, but does this have to do with differences in race, confidence, culture, libido, etc?

 

Seems like this platonic nonsense - to the point that you're cuddling in bed with someone w/o having sex - is something Caucasians engage in and/or people who have hangups about sex.

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AVarma Established Member

AVarma

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Before, during and after college. Completely stopped after meeting my wife out of respect for my wife. I'm in my forties and it was common when single for me.

G

 

 

How many years ago did you meet your wife?

PrettyEmily77 Established Member

PrettyEmily77

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Does this actually happen? Have any of you ladies sat in a man's lap or slept in the same bed as him and have it be just platonic?

 

 

Yes, when single with single male friends.

lollipopspot Established Member

lollipopspot

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Yes, I have slept in beds with males and it was platonic and nothing happened.

 

I've traveled with males who were friends, and same thing.

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Clarence_Boddicker Established Member

Clarence_Boddicker

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Yup I've done both, but not so much the lap thing. I've shared a bed a few times, both as a cuddle buddy & just normal sleeping. Some people like human contact & would rather share a bed, even if sex is off the table. It's all about respecting boundaries & trust. Close proximity to the opposite sex doesn't always lead to sex.

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Got it Established Member

Got it

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Yes, in college, crashed and slept in the same bed as a male friend. Sure, he was a friend. Didn't mean anything.

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jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

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I've never had female friend sit in my lap as just a friend and I've never had one sleep in the same bed with me when there wasn't anything romantic going.

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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I have sat on tons of men's laps. It's not that big of a deal . . .flirty, sure but certainly not a commitment.

 

 

I have slept in a bed with a man & just slept because we were friends bit not hooking up. All of those events happened in college & involved being drunk. After college that behavior was simply too wild & contained too many elements of inappropriate teasing. At 18, 19, 20 it was more like a safe way to explore sexuality without doing anything.

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Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted (edited)
Yes, in college, crashed and slept in the same bed as a male friend. Sure, he was a friend. Didn't mean anything.

 

I have sat on tons of men's laps. It's not that big of a deal . . .flirty, sure but certainly not a commitment.

 

 

I have slept in a bed with a man & just slept because we were friends bit not hooking up. All of those events happened in college & involved being drunk. After college that behavior was simply too wild & contained too many elements of inappropriate teasing. At 18, 19, 20 it was more like a safe way to explore sexuality without doing anything.

 

Thank you for your honesty...

 

I firmly believe that you cannot be "intimate" with someone w/o having sex. If someone is cuddling up next to you on the regular w/o it ending up in sex, something is up.

Edited by Gloria25
beyond Established Member

beyond

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How do I respond to this thread without being insulting?

 

Gloria25 doesn't play this sh&&t...

 

I don't believe in platonic relationships and I'm not playing stupid games with men. The only time I'm cuddling up next to a guy is if Im dating him. Even "if" I'm cuddling up to him in bed w/o sex "that" night, we've probably already had sex and this is a nite we're tired or something.

 

No offense, but does this have to do with differences in race, confidence, culture, libido, etc?

 

Seems like this platonic nonsense - to the point that you're cuddling in bed with someone w/o having sex - is something Caucasians engage in and/or people who have hangups about sex.

 

I agree with Gloria - and I'm caucasian:)

But then I'm not the kind of woman who has loads of close platonic male friends.

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AVarma Established Member

AVarma

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All of those events happened in college & involved being drunk.

 

Is there any reason that this type of activity didn't happen when sober? Also how in the world do two drunk people end up in bed and not have sex?

No Limit Established Member

No Limit

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Not me, but a girl I knew. 2 times, both times 'just' spooning.

The Poster Established Member

The Poster

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There have been multiple times I've slept in the same bed with a female friend on weekend getaways where there are a bunch of people and limited space. It was nothing more than two friends sleeping in the same bed. There wasn't any bad intentions or fiery desires.

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autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

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I haven't done this, but I admit that when I have bad nightmares I wish someone was in bed with me.

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Tread Carefully Established Member

Tread Carefully

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I have shared a bed with a totally platonic guy friend. Totally sober too.

 

I had a stalker. My friend was my protection and made me feel safe enough to actually sleep.

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hotpotato Established Member

hotpotato

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Nope, have never done this. Ive also never met a man who wanted to be just friends.

For me, this is a definite no go unless hes gay.

sweet_pea Established Member

sweet_pea

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Yes, but he's gay so I guess that's not exactly who you're talking about.

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