Vero Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 (edited) My brother and I go to a pretty young church. There is a girl at my church that I like. My brother kind of knows her because he's been going to the church longer than me. I've only really talked to her through my brother, but never 1 on 1. Before and after church, everyone socializes with each other, and after church people will usually have lunch at a single location. I can talk to her during those times and invite her out to lunch where some of the church I people go, but seeing as how I only see her on Sundays, I don't know how to progress with this. How would you guys do it? Thanks! Edited July 26, 2015 by Vero
d0nnivain Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Asking her to lunch & getting her phone # is your best bet.
futureglory263 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 hey vero. thanks for sharing.. i've been in similar situations so i totally understand what you're going through. For the purposes of answering and from your question, I'm assuming that you are a Christian who is ready or will soon be ready to be married and that you're interested in getting to know this sister in an intentional way that would lead to a courtship/dating process for the purposes of deciding whether marriage would be where God is leading you. Just wanted to ask a few things before I answer.. you say your brother knows her (at least a little bit more) than you. What does he (or those who know her) have to say about her character? Does your brother happen to know if she seeing anyone right now? Certainly not least, have you prayed about this? These questions I try and figure out beforehand I would ask someone out because it may affect whether I actually do ask that person out or not. You say that you've already talked to her..even though it may have been through your brother, you've already introduced yourself and have made yourself known, and that's a good thing. There's always debate whether you should get to know her and be friends first, or be one to ask her out before establishing a friendly relationship. Personally I don't think that you would need to be friends first, though I think that you should be able to develop at least a comfort level. You can maybe do this by trying to sit with/near/around her after church during fellowship time and sharing conversation within a group setting. It doesn't have to be for months, I think this can be developed after a few weeks if done consistently, even just once a week during fellowship. Then see if you can catch her when she's by herself after fellowship and ask her out. Specifically mention the word "date," so it's clear! Please don't say something like "let's hang out friday after work." I hear so many sisters complain about Christian guys being vague and unintentional: is this a date? does this mean he's interested in me? Part of being a man is being clear, and thus being open to rejection. Yes it stinks, but God has called men to initiate, and women to respond to it. Above all, guard your heart and her heart. She is your sister and you need to always treat her like one with all purity. Praying for the best!
Recommended Posts