singlelife Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 I know lady's who don't want anything to do with a loser dad. But there are plenty who have sex with them. Share your opinions please.
Natalie8 Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Guys who dont take care of their kids as in dont live with their kids or dont pay child support/ spend time with their kids? I know guys who have children from a previous relationship and although they dont live with the kids they see them regularly and pay child support. That is fine i think. A guy who does none of that is not even a man in my eyes and would never ever want to have anything to do with them. For me it tells everything i need to know about them. I am not sure about women who sleep with such guys..they are either not aware that the guy is taking no responsibility or they dont see it as a disqualifying factor ( obviously). I have never dated a guy who had children and although i am not saying i would never do( as long as they are good dads) but my preferance is definitely for guys who have no children.
madjac74 Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 I know lady's who don't want anything to do with a loser dad. But there are plenty who have sex with them. Share your opinions please. Based on the time frame of having sex with a date compared to the time frame of meeting their kids, you will likely have sex with them before you learn they are or aren't a loser dad
kendahke Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 I know lady's who don't want anything to do with a loser dad. But there are plenty who have sex with them. Share your opinions please. Usually, this isn't a topic of conversation when they're wooing the pants off a new chick. This is found out after they've had sex, so your statement is really irrelevant because you haven't made clear what "don't take of their kids" means. I know of no dead beat parent who says while they're going in for the panties "I don't pay child support for my kids and I haven't seen them since they were born..." But people have sex with people for a myriad of reasons--or no reason at all. 1
smackie9 Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Usually, this isn't a topic of conversation when they're wooing the pants off a new chick. This is found out after they've had sex, so your statement is really irrelevant because you haven't made clear what "don't take of their kids" means. I know of no dead beat parent who says while they're going in for the panties "I don't pay child support for my kids and I haven't seen them since they were born..." But people have sex with people for a myriad of reasons--or no reason at all. Thanks for posting this^^^^ I hate these men vs women threads.....so counter productive.
preraph Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Even as a women who didn't want to date men with kids or have kids, I still say a man who doesn't take care of his kids isn't much of a man. And in my opinion, it's the Last person you should be sleeping with because if you have an accident and get pregnant, he's a deadbeat dad. I think anyone who brings kids into the world and doesn't do their fair share for them financially and emotionally and logistically is as big a loser as you can be. 2
Author singlelife Posted July 26, 2015 Author Posted July 26, 2015 I have friends who don't tell their lady friends they have kids and when the relationship progresses they all feel he is a piece of crap because he kept a horrible thing from them. He can't keep a good woman.
Krieger Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Will if I was dating a girl and she was a dead beat mom I would run for the hills. Also if all she did all day was talk crap about the child's father non stop it a turn off. I know he might be a big D bag but you sound bitter there noting you can do or say to change the kids dad .
todreaminblue Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I have counselled quite a few guys who dont see their kids......it is the mothers choice not to let them see their kids...quite a few of those guys i have talked paid child support even though they had a tough time even seeing their kids.and often it was because of issues that they had that made them unfit.....my son wont let me see my grandchildren ...i am not a loser nanna ...i miss them and pray every night to see them..my prayers are still unanswered as far as guys who father children and walk away want to party get wasted and chill with mates at a pub sorta non condom wearing dad.... and then claim no responsibility for having a child....thats a different story i think you need to know the circumstances and situation before writing a guy off for not seeing his kids......and considering the issues as such are probably involved and traumatic all round...its not something easily bought up, on or in the first few dates..... in my opinion you should know a guy really well before jumping in the sack...or preferably a long standing honest and open committed relationship or friendship first..really know the guy.and then you wont have a problem....deb
Author singlelife Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 I have counselled quite a few guys who dont see their kids......it is the mothers choice not to let them see their kids...quite a few of those guys i have talked paid child support even though they had a tough time even seeing their kids.and often it was because of issues that they had that made them unfit.....my son wont let me see my grandchildren ...i am not a loser nanna ...i miss them and pray every night to see them..my prayers are still unanswered as far as guys who father children and walk away want to party get wasted and chill with mates at a pub sorta non condom wearing dad.... and then claim no responsibility for having a child....thats a different story i think you need to know the circumstances and situation before writing a guy off for not seeing his kids......and considering the issues as such are probably involved and traumatic all round...its not something easily bought up, on or in the first few dates..... in my opinion you should know a guy really well before jumping in the sack...or preferably a long standing honest and open committed relationship or friendship first..really know the guy.and then you wont have a problem....deb Great point! 1
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I lost a relationship for being too good of a father (true story). She was jealous of the time/affection I gave towards my daughter. I've dated single moms before, I monitored how they were as mothers and their relationship with their ex's. I have guy friends who I lost respect for because they're ****ty fathers. You bring a person into this world, everything else should be second.
No Limit Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Most women are glad when the guy doesn't have kids she will have to deal with (visitation, nasty ex etc). 1
autumnnight Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I have friends who don't tell their lady friends they have kids and when the relationship progresses they all feel he is a piece of crap because he kept a horrible thing from them. He can't keep a good woman. Not telling someone about kids is a pretty big omission. 1
TunaCat Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I won't date someone with kids. I don't want them myself. However, if I were willing to date someone with kids, they would have to be present in their children's lives. Not just sending monthly child support, but actually BEING there physically for the child. I've been the little girl whose father isn't around and it sucks. I'd never want to be with someone who could do that to their child. I've seen my brother go through it with his dad (we have different dads, but same mom) and they have no relationship & my brother hates visiting him. Not only would it be a turnoff, it would be a deal-breaker. 1
Author singlelife Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 Not telling someone about kids is a pretty big omission. And they don't underdstand why. They hate it that women give other guys respect but they can get all the upfront sex but no long term respect or relationships. Then they are left with the trashy women to go with because they are out of the good woman lists.
stupidkittten Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Not to me, honestly. This is probably an unpopular opinion but it really depends on the situation. I may be a little biased since I absolutely don't want children myself. Like I feel I wouldn't get any motherly instinct and would completely feel burdened by the kid, if I had one. As a result, since I feel that a woman shouldn't be judged for giving a kid up for adoption if she's not ready or having an abortion, I also don't feel a guy should have a kid forced upon him since he doesn't really have the option of making a decision on what happens with the kid. I wouldn't look down on him any more than I'd look down on a woman for giving up her kid. As long as it was an accidental pregnancy and he let her know from the beginning that he wasn't ready. Although if the situation is that he was all for having a kid until she actually had a kid, I wouldn't want to be with him and I would be turned off because that'd tell me that he makes big decisions without really thinking about it. I know people feel that if someone has sex and makes a baby, they should stand up an raise it but to me, that's just saying they should be punished for having sex. If I wanted kids though, I'd find myself incompatible with them and I'd never be with him as a result because I'd never trust him to have kids (unless there's a really good reason why he's not involved)
gaius Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I can't recall ever running across a woman that was like "oh well I just met this guy who's perfect in every way, except for the fact he doesn't pay child support to his ex-wife, so I can't be with him". Usually the upset comes more from when their own children don't get taken care of, not some other woman's. That can actually cause real problems in a relationship sometimes. If the guy is spending too much time or money on kids that aren't the woman's he's dating/married to. 1
lollipopspot Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Usually the upset comes more from when their own children don't get taken care of, not some other woman's. I've seen that before too. People can get very clannish where nothing matters but their OWN kids, and they really don't care that much about others. 1
Timshel Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 My ex-husband does not pay court ordered child support and I have not reported him. That said, if I were ever dating a man with children and found out that he was not paying child support or contributing financially toward the well being of his children, that would be the last time I would exchange words with him. 2
Revolver Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 From my personal experience it doesn't seem to hurt them from getting women 1
Timshel Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 From my personal experience it doesn't seem to hurt them from getting women I don't think my ex has a problem 'getting' women, true. Relationship though, idk. Short term and casual, I don't think it comes up. If he gets serious with someone in the future and she doesn't care, that tells me something about her around my kids. I don't think credit is being given to women who are wanting something long term and stable, at least I hope not.
TB Rhine Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Are guys who don't take care of their kids a turn off? Not if the sheer number of kids out there with deadbeat dads is any indication.
Author singlelife Posted July 29, 2015 Author Posted July 29, 2015 I don't think my ex has a problem 'getting' women, true. Relationship though, idk. Short term and casual, I don't think it comes up. If he gets serious with someone in the future and she doesn't care, that tells me something about her around my kids. I don't think credit is being given to women who are wanting something long term and stable, at least I hope not. I agree with this. My friends who are deadbeat dads can get laid anytime. But the get stood up a lot and replace quick when the women find a guy they want. I also have to say a guy they respect. And when they do get gf the women seem to have an unconscience lack of respect for them. They hate it when they like a girl but she doesn't like them. Or that other guys who are fwb get treated with respect and they don't. They don't get they put themselves in that category.
Author singlelife Posted August 4, 2015 Author Posted August 4, 2015 Not if the sheer number of kids out there with deadbeat dads is any indication. I think it wears off at some point.
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