Hit by massive depression this past week. Will I ever get over her?

June 25, 2015

Dont worry man. This is normal just give it time.

Also you can be happy to screw any chick as you please dont feel bad about what you are doing. You are single 100% have as much fun as you want. Dont think of your ex because nothing you do or dont with this other girls will change things.

June 25, 2015

If Tiny Elvis isn't into it, then he isn't into it, and no amount of social pressure is going to convince him. When you're ready, you're ready. It's that simple. Don't rush it, and you'll be fine.

June 28, 2015

So today is officially 60 days NC. And I mean STRICT NC. I have not seen any social media or anything like that. I can't tell you what her face looks like anymore or what color hair she has. I know absolutely nothing about her. Although, I do know that I love her and miss her dearly. I had such a real dream about her last night. We talked about the breakup and she was standing right next to me. Almost like I could feel her right there. I remeber thinking in the dream how I couldn't wait to take her home and cuddle up next to her and feel her warmth. Then I woke up, woke up to reality. I miss her so much, guys and I should be making a lot more progress than I am. I miss her smile and the way I could always make her laugh.

Things started going backwards after that date I had last week I made a post about it. No girl can fit the hole that I have except for my ex. I'm a little hurt that she hasn't tried to even reach out to me once, not that I should expect her too but I just always thought we were different. I thought what we had was special. She used to always tell me in the relationship "don't ever give up on me, don't ever give up on us" I would respond with the same line "babe, if we don't workout for whatever reason, it won't be because of ME giving up, I will ride this till the end." And of course exactly that happened... it ended because she gave up. It sucks that we were so special to eachother and cherished eachother and the last thing she ever said to me was two months ago: "leave me the **** alone, I have a new man." Ughhh it burns whenever I think about that.

I've been exercising a lot, seeing my friends and doing everything that is advised. But I'm still unhappy. 2 freaking months. I really want to contact her now I have so many questions I just want to hear her voice again because I forget what it sounds like. But I know that wouldn't be a good idea, but I also know we were such good friends. I'm so lost guys, do I just keep pushing or what?

June 28, 2015

I just hit 3 months no nc and I mean nothing.. The 2 month mark is weird but it's a little better at 3 months .. Not a lot but more capable .. Your in for a long run just as I am

June 28, 2015

Keep going on your own. She doesn't sound like the type to be receptive to contact, or be able to help you find closure.

Don't beat yourself up because it's been 2 months. Healing and personal growth is not linear. But stay on the path and you will find your way out of the woods.

June 29, 2015

So for those of you who know. It's been 2 months NC for me and 2 months on from the messy breakup. I can't help but think back to it all the time. Trying to decode everything that happened in the breakup. Quick recap: she broke up with me in March telling me she needed space. 4 days later I find out she had been on some dates with a guy she met online dating..... She freaked on me for being upset that she was seeing someone new only after 4 days, telling me she's single and can do whatever she wants. 2 weeks after that she comes back and says she made a mistake, loves me bla bla bla.

We get back together. Keep in mind she has moved back home already at the beginning of the year so this is all long distance. So we got back together and went and visited her and had more of a backbone this time. She took it as me being an "*******" saying she doesn't like the new me when I thought all I was doing was sticking up for myself. So once I got back home she asks if I'll come visit her for her b-day that was coming up and I thought we had some more work to do on relationship before another visit seeing how the last one didn't go so well. She gets upset because I won't come see her for her bday and threatens me by saying she can find attention somehwere else if she needs to. And that she doesn't want to be without a bf on her birthday. So she breaks up with me after I don't budge. But instantly takes it back. By this time I was really hurt because her breakup txt was extremely mean and hurtful. So we don't talk for the next 2 days until I finally txt her. She seemed surprised even tho only two days has gone by.

The next 4-5 days we have communication about loving eachother and that she will always wait for me and loves me and I said the same. So finally I tell her I want to come see her and we discuss when. After trying to pick some dates she changes direction and says she only wants to see me if I move there (which was the plan eventually when I was ready, she bought a house for us and everything). I ask why all the sudden she only wants to see me if I move and she said that "I never know what I want so I need to decide" then I ask her if she has been talking to anyone new. And she says yes.... great. She even said she took a huge step a couple days ago in "getting over me" I broke down and told her I didn't feel comfortable with her and this new guy and moving there. She told me to trust her in the fact that she didn't do anything with him... okay I guess? We argue all night and she keeps telling me to let her go, complete 180 from that morning of her telling me she just wants me to "come home" to her and our dog. Then I call her out on her always promising us together and her always loving me and she says "LIFE HAPPENS" what does that even mean???? It's been bothering me these past two months!!! Please anyone have any idea? Anyways to wrap it all up, the next day she ignores me completely and then I buy a spur of the moment plane ticket to fly out and see her to fix all this. A soon as I txt her that and driving to the airport she FLIPS OUT and tells me "leave me the **** alone! I have a new man!" The conversation continued but didn't get past that really. I eventually had to turn around and home. Been NC ever since. It's weird how fast this all happened. Anyways "life happens" what's that about?

June 29, 2015

So for those of you who know. It's been 2 months NC for me and 2 months on from the messy breakup. I can't help but think back to it all the time. Trying to decode everything that happened in the breakup. Quick recap: she broke up with me in March telling me she needed space. 4 days later I find out she had been on some dates with a guy she met online dating..... She freaked on me for being upset that she was seeing someone new only after 4 days, telling me she's single and can do whatever she wants. 2 weeks after that she comes back and says she made a mistake, loves me bla bla bla.

We get back together. Keep in mind she has moved back home already at the beginning of the year so this is all long distance. So we got back together and went and visited her and had more of a backbone this time. She took it as me being an "*******" saying she doesn't like the new me when I thought all I was doing was sticking up for myself. So once I got back home she asks if I'll come visit her for her b-day that was coming up and I thought we had some more work to do on relationship before another visit seeing how the last one didn't go so well. She gets upset because I won't come see her for her bday and threatens me by saying she can find attention somehwere else if she needs to. And that she doesn't want to be without a bf on her birthday. So she breaks up with me after I don't budge. But instantly takes it back. By this time I was really hurt because her breakup txt was extremely mean and hurtful. So we don't talk for the next 2 days until I finally txt her. She seemed surprised even tho only two days has gone by.

The next 4-5 days we have communication about loving eachother and that she will always wait for me and loves me and I said the same. So finally I tell her I want to come see her and we discuss when. After trying to pick some dates she changes direction and says she only wants to see me if I move there (which was the plan eventually when I was ready, she bought a house for us and everything). I ask why all the sudden she only wants to see me if I move and she said that "I never know what I want so I need to decide" then I ask her if she has been talking to anyone new. And she says yes.... great. She even said she took a huge step a couple days ago in "getting over me" I broke down and told her I didn't feel comfortable with her and this new guy and moving there. She told me to trust her in the fact that she didn't do anything with him... okay I guess? We argue all night and she keeps telling me to let her go, complete 180 from that morning of her telling me she just wants me to "come home" to her and our dog. Then I call her out on her always promising us together and her always loving me and she says "LIFE HAPPENS" what does that even mean???? It's been bothering me these past two months!!! Please anyone have any idea? Anyways to wrap it all up, the next day she ignores me completely and then I buy a spur of the moment plane ticket to fly out and see her to fix all this. A soon as I txt her that and driving to the airport she FLIPS OUT and tells me "leave me the **** alone! I have a new man!" The conversation continued but didn't get past that really. I eventually had to turn around and home. Been NC ever since. It's weird how fast this all happened. Anyways "life happens" what's that about?

It means that she is a psycho hose beast and that you dodged a bullet.

Delete her contact info and ask out that cute chick down at the ice cream shop you've been checking out.

It's been two months, way past time to move on.

June 29, 2015

It means that she is a psycho hose beast and that you dodged a bullet.

Delete her contact info and ask out that cute chick down at the ice cream shop you've been checking out.

It's been two months, way past time to move on.

I know it's been two months. Trust me, my family and friends are all dumbfounded that I can't move on yet. And idk why either. I'm working out, kickboxing taking care of myself all the time. I'm a pretty good looking guy but all my confidence is shot. It's like she left and took all my confidence with her. I have idea who this new guy is, but maybe he's more built than me? Taller? Or what is wrong with me?

June 29, 2015

I know it's been two months. Trust me, my family and friends are all dumbfounded that I can't move on yet. And idk why either. I'm working out, kickboxing taking care of myself all the time. I'm a pretty good looking guy but all my confidence is shot. It's like she left and took all my confidence with her. I have idea who this new guy is, but maybe he's more built than me? Taller? Or what is wrong with me?

What's wrong with you is you are letting her yank your chain with her bat$hit craziness instead of walking way and doing your own thing. You are trying to understand her nuttiness and make sense of it but you can't make sense of someone else's crazy.

Get out abandoning things with fun people. Just get out and enjoy yourself. If some gal catches your eye ask her out. Do that enough times and eventually your psycho ex will just be a memory and a bad aftertaste in your mouth.

June 29, 2015

What's wrong with you is you are letting her yank your chain with her bat$hit craziness instead of walking way and doing your own thing. You are trying to understand her nuttiness and make sense of it but you can't make sense of someone else's crazy.

Get out abandoning things with fun people. Just get out and enjoy yourself. If some gal catches your eye ask her out. Do that enough times and eventually your psycho ex will just be a memory and a bad aftertaste in your mouth.

This^^^

Dude.. as they say on Sports Center "Come on man"! She's clearly bat $hit crazy and YOU'RE allowing it. Why are you continuing on with all this stupid drama?!?! You need to VANISH from her while blocking and deleting everything of hers. Who want's to deal with that emotional, toxic rollercoaster of a nightmare? Does she have BPD too?

Don't let some whacked out, nut job have any effect on your self confidence. She sounds massively damaged. Who cares what someone like that thinks about you. You described yourself as good looking. Use it and find a NORMAL girl who wants a stable, loving relationship.

I survived a nut job, BPD ex GF.. I'm thankful that I got out of the disaster alive and with MOST of my mental heath in place.. lol Seriously, there are plenty of hot women out there w/out all this immaturity or craziness!

June 29, 2015

This^^^

Dude.. as they say on Sports Center "Come on man"! She's clearly bat $hit crazy and YOU'RE allowing it. Why are you continuing on with all this stupid drama?!?! You need to VANISH from her while blocking and deleting everything of hers. Who want's to deal with that emotional, toxic rollercoaster of a nightmare? Does she have BPD too?

Don't let some whacked out, nut job have any effect on your self confidence. She sounds massively damaged. Who cares what someone like that thinks about you. You described yourself as good looking. Use it and find a NORMAL girl who wants a stable, loving relationship.

I survived a nut job, BPD ex GF.. I'm thankful that I got out of the disaster alive and with MOST of my mental heath in place.. lol Seriously, there are plenty of hot women out there w/out all this immaturity or craziness!

I really appreciate your guys input and guy checks. Keep in mind tho, this happened 2 months ago and went No Contact the day it happened and haven't heard from her since. I deleted her number, threw out all the gifts etc and I don't have any social media anyways. She's just stuck in my mind wether I want her there or not.

June 29, 2015

I really appreciate your guys input and guy checks. Keep in mind tho, this happened 2 months ago and went No Contact the day it happened and haven't heard from her since. I deleted her number, threw out all the gifts etc and I don't have any social media anyways. She's just stuck in my mind wether I want her there or not.

The reason you are hung up is because crazy bitches are a dramatic roller coaster ride and you get a little addicted to the stimulation. You just need to detox and the best way to detox is to get out and have fun and especially start dating some other people.

Once you've been with a few more women that will go away.

Once you get with someone that you click with and are compatible with and who is sane, you will kick yourself for all the time you wasted pining over the crazy bitch.

June 30, 2015

Life happens

means you ****ed up:

Here: think back to it all the time.

Here: Trying to decode everything that happened in the breakup.

Here: I find out she had been on some dates

Here: being upset that she was seeing someone new

Here: We get back together.

Here: we got back together

Here: went and visited her

Here: I thought we had some more work to do

Here: I was really hurt

Here: I finally txt her

Here: we have communication about loving eachother

Here: I said the same

Here: I tell her I want to come see her

Here: I ask why

Here: I ask her if she has been talking to anyone new

Here: I broke down

Here: told her I didn't feel comfortable with her and this new guy

Here: We argue all night

Here: I call her out on ...

Here: It's been bothering me

Here: I buy a spur of the moment plane ticket to fly out

Here: I txt her

and

Here: The conversation continued

June 30, 2015

The reason you are hung up is because crazy bitches are a dramatic roller coaster ride and you get a little addicted to the stimulation. You just need to detox and the best way to detox is to get out and have fun and especially start dating some other people.

Once you've been with a few more women that will go away.

Once you get with someone that you click with and are compatible with and who is sane, you will kick yourself for all the time you wasted pining over the crazy bitch.

Again.... this ^^^

It is like an addiction. When these crazy people are nice, they are SSOO nice, loving, attentive, sexual.. It's like that first line of Cocaine.. Sadly, the majority of the time, they are f'ing disasters who suck the life out of you! Go thru the rest of the withdrawls.. Start dating someone else who's got her mental heath and $hit together. Of course you'll still think of this crazy one. I still occasionally think of my bat $hit crazy ex. But, I'm so grateful I'm not suffering thru her BS anymore too!

July 1, 2015

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm keeping super busy, working out all day and kickboxing all evening. My body is on overdrive and my mind is somewhere else. 2 months of NC and I'm still in denial. Yesterday I almost caved and called her, I had the number dialed but I didn't thank God. Not only did we love eachother so so so much and told eachother everyday, but we were also the best of friends. Even our couples counselor said we have amazing chemistry. And now she's gone and hasn't even checked on me to make sure I'm okay. I have severe combat PTSD and go to therapy twice a week. I've lost a lot of people at only 24 yrs old and she is just one more loss that has opened up so many wounds that I thought healed. She is one more casualty that died in my arms and I did everything I could to save her... to save us.

Last night I had a terrible nightmare about my deployment. As usual I woke up in a panic, but instead of having my gf to wake up and comfort me, I had an empty bed. It was the loneliest I've felt since the breakup. After a half an hour I fell back asleep and of course, I dream about her. We are laying down together and I cry and ask her "L, why did you leave me!?" She replied "I don't know, I'm just so confused! I'll tell you tomorrow". Then I woke up. And remebered that no, she's not confused she just left me for someone else.

2 months and I'm still shaken. I pray for some sort of contact just for validation. Pitiful, I know :/ I have been through this before in my first relationship a couple years back. My NC game is strong even after multiple attempts over the years of my first ex trying to get a hold of me. Never responded to her breadcrumbs and have been NC with her for over 2 years lol. But my recent relationship, was longer, more intense and we were going to marry eachother. Is two months still pretty early? What should I do guys?

July 1, 2015

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm keeping super busy, working out all day and kickboxing all evening.

Is two months still pretty early? What should I do guys?

Don't be be too busy, and don't exercise too much. If you're doing that to suppress your feelings, you'll end up like an overwound clock spring.

You have to have a proper balance of rest and activity.

Two months is very early in your recovery; still in the acute phase.

Cut back a bit on the exercise.

Take care.

Edited July 1, 2015 by Satu

July 2, 2015

I agree with the above post. 2 months is still early. There are books that talk about stages people go through after a breakup or loss. It's difficult to determine where you are at just by looking at the calendar.

During my breakup, my ex and I broke NC several times. We would let each other know that we cared about each other, but in the end, it did not lead to anything. We were just prolonging the inevitable. Many years later, we are complete strangers now. But enough time has past, and I am very happy now because the breakup allowed me to be with someone I truly love, trust, and can count on.

Like the above post said, I also think the balance is important. In the meanwhile, you can focus on creating new memories. Some book (I forget which one), called it "competing memories," memories that compete for the space in your brain with your old ones. There is only so much your brain can remember. With time, it becomes less painful. Right now, you just got to hold on and be strong each day. Good luck.

July 2, 2015

I agree with Satu-

Ease up on the exercise. Find some hobbies that keep you busy and your mind occupied. There's lots of relaxing things you can do that will keep you centered as well.

Of course you're going to still be in this stage of denial, hurt and frustration. It's early. You can't force healing. I'd also suggest that you get out in social situations if you can as well. There's nothing better than having some attention from the opposite sex to make you feel better about yourself.

Be patient w/yourself. Also, be DAMN proud of yourself for sticking to NC for you to heal.

You'll get through it.

July 2, 2015

Sorry to hear your going through it buddy, I suffer badly with panic attacks, I have had to move back to my mothers since I was dumped for another guy as I cant deal with the pain of being alone, she has moved him in, I was told yesterday that she is getting engaged to this new guy, they are going to Thailand in September, I feel worthless, replaced, unimportant, I think of them two together doing things and it kills me, we have a little 13 month old daughter together, i feel she has really been let down, i cant go no contact because we have a daughter together so i have to go through the never ending pain, she came yesterday to collect our daughter and she looked soooo hot, I felt devastated when she had gone, knowing she is over there with him, happy, and I am here unhappy, lonely, sad, depressed, on medication and under a councilor makes everything unbearable........

July 2, 2015

Two months is still early. You are on the right track, so hang in there and go one day at a time. You will get through this - you will come out on the other end. Someone who leaves for another relationship really isn't worthy of all this heartache and pain. Eventually the loneliness will dissipate and you will realize that it's better this happened now then after marriage. Thank you for your service to our great country. You deserve a woman who will love you and commit to you for the long-haul. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

July 3, 2015

I'm starting to do a lot of self blame lately. Let me start by saying that my ex has been in and out of relationships for a long time. I was I think her 5th relationship in the past 5 years. One of those relationships she was married. She always had the next guy lined up ready to go before she would leave or they left her. I was the only one where she was actually single for a month before meeting me. I saw some red flags in the beginning because she kind of had this attitude or life motto like "if a woman isn't getting her needs met, she'll find it somehwere else." She even would justify her sister sleeping with a married man saying his wife isn't meeting his needs so he's going to find it somehwere else. I'm pretty sure my ex has slept with married men in her past also but I'm not sure because after her stories didn't match up she denied it after almost bragging about it, and for some reason she never had a problem telling me that stuff. I don't know if that means anything...

But I guess I always thought I would be different. I would be the one who straightens her out and let her know when her "ideas" or "mottos" aren't the best. I would be the one who would be her happily ever after. I would meet all her needs and she wouldn't need to find it anywhere else. She even admitted she had never loved anyone as much as me... even her ex husband she didn't love as much. I was perfect for her. So after living together and then moving her back home for me to follow and she found us a house, I started feeling like her needs where so hard to meet. The bar was constantly being risen and it was almost like no matter what I did she was never happy. She would even threaten me by saying she would get attention elsewhere. Near the end I kind of started getting tired, drained from jumping through hoops. Long story short, she broke up with me for some body builder she met on a dating site. She came back a couple weeks later saying this body builder wasn't over his ex. We got back together and she left after another month and a half for a different guy. I have no idea who he is she just said an old friend. So my question is, was I not good enough? And I know your first reaction is to say "dude she was effing crazy!!!" Okay I get it, but it doesn't change how much I love her and I feel like I wasn't good enough. But I guess this new guy is good enough? seeing how I haven't heard from her in two months strict NC. Did I drive her away because I got tired and couldn't meet her needs? Was this my fault?

July 3, 2015

She did it because *she wanted to.*

Nobody made her do it.

July 3, 2015

She did it because *she wanted to.*

Nobody made her do it.

Right, I know it was her choice. But was it me being a crappy bf that didn't meet her needs what drove her to make that choice? If I was meeting her needs she wouldn't need to find it from someone else, right?

July 3, 2015

eesybakeoven21,

She didn't leave you because of what the OM was, she left because of what she wasn't.

This is all about her and nothing about you.

No-one makes anyone do anything (unless they have a gun to their head )

July 3, 2015

Anyone who jumps from relationship to relationship is running from her own problems. She can't be alone with her own thoughts and issues so she has to have a man to distract her from herself. These people don't change and you can't change them.

Your focus should be on you and how you can navigate thru this painful process and come out the other side. Keep reading on this site. After a week or two of viewing others experiences, you'll quickly see what works (NC) and what doesn't.

This has nothing to do about what you did or didn't do for her. Don't beat yourself up. NO ONE will meet her expectations and she'll continue this pattern of jumping from guy to guy.

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Hit by massive depression this past week. Will I ever get over her?

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