Jordan185 Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 This girl has me so lost and confused. I think she is an awesome girl though so I'm willing to give this a try. About a month I started asking this female coworker out. The first two times she claimed she was busy. I thought she was interested because she was constantly teasing me and play fighting with me. She was comfortable with me touching her as well. After the busy thing though I stopped asking her out. Until she started increasing the flirting and asking for help doing things she easily could have done by herself. Her play fighting increased. I decided I'd ask her out one more time. This time she made it easy and we went out and had fun. She actually told some other coworkers how fun it was. She has mentioned doing it again but is always busy. She does work 50 hours a week and we are both in school. I understand she has friends but this has me discouraged. Recently she has started a tickle fight with me and literally will chases me when she sees me outside of work. She said she doesn't like being touched and I've seen when other guys try and touch her she kind of resists but is fine with me doing it. Can someone help me figure her out?
Gaeta Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 Did you try to kiss her during that last date? It sounds like she just sees you as she connected with on a friendship level.
Author Jordan185 Posted July 25, 2015 Author Posted July 25, 2015 Did you try to kiss her during that last date? It sounds like she just sees you as she connected with on a friendship level. No I didn't unfortunately. However I doubt I'm just friendoned. She doesn't bring up other guys (other than her guy friends), she hasn't ever called me buddy, pal, or called me a brother, hasn't tried to hook me up with her friends, etc. Anyone girls and guys that see us interact say it's obvious she likes me and I'm oblivious. I've been told no one would tickle fight with a guy they aren't into especially if she know they like them. She knows I like her. I've made that point very clear. She is the one suggesting doing things together. She does know it was an actual date we went on. She is the one who told people it was a date.
TunaCat Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 You need to be direct. Ask her if she'd like to go out on a date with you. My guess is that she's increasing all this teasing/tickling thing to get you to ask her out. The longer you hold off on asking her out, the less she'll be interested in you. 3
Author Jordan185 Posted July 25, 2015 Author Posted July 25, 2015 You need to be direct. Ask her if she'd like to go out on a date with you. My guess is that she's increasing all this teasing/tickling thing to get you to ask her out. The longer you hold off on asking her out, the less she'll be interested in you. I have been direct. The last time I asked her when she was free during the week for a date she said she was busy all week. I told her no big deal and that we could set something up another time. She said "sure!" Like I said she did this the first few times I asked her out before I got a yes. She works 50 hours a week and is actually a very social girl as well. I'm just tired of people telling that see us together claiming I'm oblivious. It's been frustrating when she does all of this flirting and touching. I don't know if she is just doing this because this some of the only time we get to actually be together.
spiderowl Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 If someone is too busy for more than a week or two, then they are not interested in a romantic relationship. From what you've described, it is almost as if she sees you as a son or something. She shouldn't be teasing you playfully when she knows you are interested in more. I assume she does know you are interested as you asked her out? Don't waste time on her if she's busy; you are better off with someone who is available and not playing with your head like she seems to be.
Author Jordan185 Posted July 26, 2015 Author Posted July 26, 2015 If someone is too busy for more than a week or two, then they are not interested in a romantic relationship. From what you've described, it is almost as if she sees you as a son or something. She shouldn't be teasing you playfully when she knows you are interested in more. I assume she does know you are interested as you asked her out? Don't waste time on her if she's busy; you are better off with someone who is available and not playing with your head like she seems to be. Haha this is the problem too. Is when we were on our date she talked about how she has things planned out a week in advance because she hates not doing anything. I don't know why she would pick me to mess with. There are plenty of other guys that are after her. I'm not constantly chasing, texting, and/or calling her. I've just shown that I'm interested but not in a needy way. All I know is that she pays attention to me more than any of the other guys around and when we do text she is the one pushing to keep the conversation going and makes an effort. I do know that she isn't hanging with guys and she always posts pictures with her girlfriends. I'm just unsure why she would pick me when I know there are many more guys that are actually chasing her.
Author Jordan185 Posted July 26, 2015 Author Posted July 26, 2015 I'm not trying makes excuses for her either. I'm trying to completely understand what is going on here
anduina Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 It sounds like she's telling you how to ask her out, a week in advance. So on Monday, ask her out for the following week. If she pretends to be busy again, tell her in a playful way that if she wants you, she'll have to come get you. It's likely that the two of you will laugh about it and from there, you'll need to up your game by flirting and teasing with her but never asking her out. Since she doesn't mind you touching her, get close to her and pretend you're going in for a kiss. At the last second, pull back and leave her wanting. When you tease and flirt with her, always be the first one to pull back and leave her wanting more.
Author Jordan185 Posted July 26, 2015 Author Posted July 26, 2015 It sounds like she's telling you how to ask her out, a week in advance. So on Monday, ask her out for the following week. If she pretends to be busy again, tell her in a playful way that if she wants you, she'll have to come get you. It's likely that the two of you will laugh about it and from there, you'll need to up your game by flirting and teasing with her but never asking her out. Since she doesn't mind you touching her, get close to her and pretend you're going in for a kiss. At the last second, pull back and leave her wanting. When you tease and flirt with her, always be the first one to pull back and leave her wanting more. Haha I'll have to up my game. I do tease for sure. I tickle back too. In fact when she tried to tickle me the first time I grabbed her and she fell down to the ground and I tickled her. She was fine with it and I offered to truse but she will not give it up. I will just have to keep tickling her and escalate it.
highseas Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 It seems like there's plenty of flirting going on already, and I can see why you'd assume that she likes you (and you like her of course). I like another poster's suggestion of teasing and flirting the heck out of her but not asking her out until she makes it really easy for you, practically asking you to ask her out. Then you escalate physically with kissing and touching. Or, during one of these games, you grab her hand, pull her close, and kiss her outright and see if she dodges (no need to pull back). Then you know if she means business when you mean business!
dragonfire13 Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Sounds like she's confused, isn't sure if she likes you or not but likes the attention. I've been like that with guys...incidentally, with a co-worker too. Perhaps she's worried about complicating things at work, but is slowly starting to like you more and more? You have two options: 1) Be a bit ore aggressive in your approach, forcing her to take you more seriously in a romantic light 2) Let the situation go if she continues to act confusing, as it will only frustrate you.
Author Jordan185 Posted July 26, 2015 Author Posted July 26, 2015 Sounds like she's confused, isn't sure if she likes you or not but likes the attention. I've been like that with guys...incidentally, with a co-worker too. Perhaps she's worried about complicating things at work, but is slowly starting to like you more and more? You have two options: 1) Be a bit ore aggressive in your approach, forcing her to take you more seriously in a romantic light 2) Let the situation go if she continues to act confusing, as it will only frustrate you. This is why I am confused. I haven't really been chasing her. She has been the one iniating the in person stuff. There are plenty of other guys I know that are chasing and trying to flirt with her. As I said it's interesting as I have seen when other people try to touch her she kind of keeps that arms distance but let's me touch her. So why me? As I have said there are many other people that are chasing her. There's not a shortage of guys. The job is college job that is on campus
wb1988 Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Based on my own personal experiences you should wait it out for about 1 month. After that you won't have the problem as she won't be into you anymore
Recommended Posts