NopeNah Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 Vacation is next weekend..Last night we got into an argument and she's now not wanting to go. Non refundable/transferable trip,ect.. Is it wrong of me to still go?
Author NopeNah Posted July 25, 2015 Author Posted July 25, 2015 Trips booked. don't let her ruin it. Oh...I'm going! I never look a gift horse in the mouth and i'll probably have a better time without the added stress.
CarrieT Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 She paid for all of it? Or just her portion? If she paid for all of it, yes, it would be wrong for you to go unless you paid her back. 4
Author NopeNah Posted July 25, 2015 Author Posted July 25, 2015 She paid for all of it? Or just her portion? If she paid for all of it, yes, it would be wrong for you to go unless you paid her back. All of it.
CarrieT Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 All of it. Then if you go, you should reimburse her. Anything else would be tantamount to theft. 3
Author NopeNah Posted July 25, 2015 Author Posted July 25, 2015 Then if you go, you should reimburse her. Anything else would be tantamount to theft. There you go making me google "big words". The plan was she pays for trip and I pay for all expenses while there. I've actually already prepaid,for both, several excursions,transportation,ect..that almost equals the amount she has paid and they are also non refund/transferable(except the transport). Of course I'll still be doing these things, just on my own. These damn 1st world problems are real!
Lois_Griffin Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 Vacation is next weekend..Last night we got into an argument and she's now not wanting to go. Non refundable/transferable trip,ect.. Is it wrong of me to still go? She may not get a refund and may not be able to transfer the tickets, but she can CANCEL them. 1
preraph Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 She can go without you. She paid. It's hers, not yours. 3
acapelo_dp Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 Yes it's wrong of you to go... You didn't even pay for it. It's technically her vacation. If she doesn't want to go and you do reimburse her all the money and go yourself. That's the only way it's even fair. 1
trippi1432 Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Vacation is next weekend..Last night we got into an argument and she's now not wanting to go. Non refundable/transferable trip,ect.. Is it wrong of me to still go? Must have been some argument, what was the fuss about? If she paid for the airline (transport), that part for a couple hundred dollars, could be cancelled and rescheduled. Sounds like it's your side of the deal that is more non-refundable. Whether you go or not, sounds like the relationship is pretty broken if her going along would be even more stressful. Perhaps offer to buy your ticket and go if that is less stressful than the relationship itself?
highseas Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 How strongly do you like this woman? If you go and enjoy yourself on her dime without paying attention to her she would be angry and your relationship would be over... At a minimum you should ask for her permission or blessing before going. (But even if she says go ahead, she may not mean it and still may be angry that after an argument all you want is to have fun on your own).
Lansing Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 find another girl and take her with you. lol That would involve a huge search to find some girl with the same first/last name... But, I guess it has been done before (non transferable). What was this big fight about? Couldn't she still go but just not "with" you?
crude Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Of course go. If the roles were reversed, somehow women would blame it on the man and say "you go girl". 1
Joaquin Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 (edited) Nice. What kind of man allows a woman to fund his holiday in the first place. Convinient time to go your separate ways no? Opportunist. Chancer. Certainly not a gentleman to even consider it. Edited July 26, 2015 by Joaquin 1
Shining One Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 The plan was she pays for trip and I pay for all expenses while there. I've actually already prepaid,for both, several excursions,transportation,ect..that almost equals the amount she has paid and they are also non refund/transferable(except the transport).Pay her for your portion of the trip. Have her pay you for her portion of the prepaid expenses. This covers the financial aspects and you're both free to do whatever you want with your portions of the vacation.
Amalyn Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Do not go on a trip that she paid for. Even if you want out of this relationship, do not do it.
Arieswoman Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 OP, It may sound a bit over the top but I would consult a solicitor. If you go and don't pay her enough money (in her opinion) for her share then you could come back from holiday and find a summons for the Small Claims Court. So if you don't want to end up on Judge Judy you need legal advice.
MidwestUSA Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Send me her info, I'll go with her. I don't have any plans that weekend. 1
gaius Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 If you really want to go that bad patch things up with her long enough so that you can both go. Then resolve whatever when you get back. She can't be that bad to be around if you planned a trip with her.
d0nnivain Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 How bad was this fight that trying reconciliation is not one of the options? The fact that after she told you she didn't want to go with you that you still think it may be OK to go on a vacation she paid for causes me to wonder about you. If she's willing to lose all that money just to avoid being with you, this must have been a doozy of a fight. 1
wb1988 Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 (edited) She paid for all of it? Or just her portion? If she paid for all of it, yes, it would be wrong for you to go unless you paid her back. If you reversed the genders and rewrote that with 'he' and 'his' do you think you'd feel the same way? There you go making me google "big words" The fact that you didn't know the word 'reimburse' already tells us how this will all pan out. If she's willing to lose all that money just to avoid being with you, this must have been a doozy of a fight. She could just be a drama queen, and they are both living in drama city. I once dated a girl and we both planned a trip 2 months in advance. About 1 week before the trip we have an argument and she says she didn't want to go anymore. As I expected, the night before the flight she changed her mind and her bags were already packed. Edited July 26, 2015 by wb1988
Author NopeNah Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 The fact that you didn't know the word 'reimburse' already tells us how this will all pan out. . tantamount was the word that escaped me for the moment. Anywho...I spoke with her today and offered her my "part" that she paid $*290..She declined saying "You paid for my passport(expedited),did all the leg work,paid for excursions,blah,blah.." SO..I'm going. She told me to "call her when I get back ,if I want to"...That's not happening. Good thread though! Love the gender bias around here!
Author NopeNah Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 I had forgotten about the passport thing. I spent alround $1k+ for that three day "mini trip" to pick them up and take her family to dinner while there..Yeah.. I don't feel bad at all! I could tell she wanted me to plead for her to still go..didn't happen.
Els Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 (edited) If you reversed the genders and rewrote that with 'he' and 'his' do you think you'd feel the same way? Errr, yeah? There's a huge difference between going on a vacation that the other person paid for TOGETHER... and going on it ALL BY YOURSELF on the other person's dime instead of staying to try and make things right with them (or otherwise, if reconciliation isn't possible, doing the right thing and reimbursing your share). I'm not sure why this even needs to be pointed out, frankly. OP - it seems like all you want is for people to agree with you and validate your choice, since you lump all other opinions under the 'gender bias' strawman (which is rich, since no one has even mentioned gender). So, since you already have your mind made up, by all means go. All ethics aside, your R is likely doomed anyway, from the sounds of it - I wouldn't be surprised if the reason she agreed to let you go instead of cancelling the tickets (which, as the credit card holder, she has every right to do) is because she wants to have some time to gather herself and leave. Edited July 27, 2015 by Elswyth 1
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