aloneinaz Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Hopefully OP, you BLOCKED her on all social media. You need to absolutely VANISH from her life. What she's up to is none of your business just like what you're up to is none of hers. I agree with Chicago. It does hurt but, it's absolutely necessary to remove an ex from everything in your life. Some are even HARDCORE. They delete or throw out EVERYTHING to do with an ex. Gifts, cards, notes, emails, pictures, EVERYTHING. They want to wipe out all reminders of their time with them. Some think this is smart, very smart. Why keep reminders of a failed relationship? My GF did this with her last ex who was a douche bag. She has nothing to remind her of the time they spent together. Stick around this site and read the threads. You'll see what works, NC and what doesn't- having any contact, spying, etc.. Time and NC will get you back on your feet in no time. 1
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 28, 2015 Author Posted July 28, 2015 Hopefully OP, you BLOCKED her on all social media. You need to absolutely VANISH from her life. What she's up to is none of your business just like what you're up to is none of hers. I agree with Chicago. It does hurt but, it's absolutely necessary to remove an ex from everything in your life. Some are even HARDCORE. They delete or throw out EVERYTHING to do with an ex. Gifts, cards, notes, emails, pictures, EVERYTHING. They want to wipe out all reminders of their time with them. Some think this is smart, very smart. Why keep reminders of a failed relationship? My GF did this with her last ex who was a douche bag. She has nothing to remind her of the time they spent together. Stick around this site and read the threads. You'll see what works, NC and what doesn't- having any contact, spying, etc.. Time and NC will get you back on your feet in no time. Yes it's what I need to do. I've being pushing people away lately because I've really been hurting. But I'm going to try and get out more and move on with my life. Long story short I forgot to block her on Facebook and she sends me a friend request last night , but I didn't accept I rejected and blocked her. My friend told me she put the dudes name in her bio on Instagram. But I don't even care.
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 28, 2015 Author Posted July 28, 2015 She wants to keep you around in case it doesnt work with her ex. You are plan b. I Think if an ex had absolutely zero interest in you there would be zero contact after they bu with you. I mean why contact you at all if they really are done. But in saying that you really should move on. I wasted 6 years of my life in an on and off rs. He alwaYs came crawling back. This time he tried and i wasnt receptive so he moved on but still contacts me. I have only now totally blocked hiM and that ia because i realized i deserve better. I deserve to be someones first choice. You need to realize the same. SHe might be one of those people who are never happy. When shes with you she wants her ex. When shes with her ex she wants you. Dont waste years on this person. If you take her back down the track ahe will leave again and you will be right back where you are now You are right I do deserve better. Thanks for the advice I'm not going to waste my time on someone like her. She tried adding me on Facebook last night but I rejected and blocked her. So this morning my friend told me that now on Instagram she has the ex name in her bio , but it's whatever to me
NVO Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 You did the right thing, keep going! I never thought this was that important, but along the way I got rid of it all. I even deleted her from my 'Favorites' list on WhatsApp, because sometimes I would accidentally click on that list and since her name starts with a 'B' her picture would always pop-up. Sounds childish, but it works. The best 'revenge' for you is just to completely vanish into thin air. Picture yourself as that cool guy who gets in his car and rides off to the horizon.
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 28, 2015 Author Posted July 28, 2015 You did the right thing, keep going! I never thought this was that important, but along the way I got rid of it all. I even deleted her from my 'Favorites' list on WhatsApp, because sometimes I would accidentally click on that list and since her name starts with a 'B' her picture would always pop-up. Sounds childish, but it works. The best 'revenge' for you is just to completely vanish into thin air. Picture yourself as that cool guy who gets in his car and rides off to the horizon. Thanks man and yeah that's what I'm doing it hard but this will be all past me soon 1
aloneinaz Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 You are right I do deserve better. Thanks for the advice I'm not going to waste my time on someone like her. She tried adding me on Facebook last night but I rejected and blocked her. So this morning my friend told me that now on Instagram she has the ex name in her bio , but it's whatever to me Tell your friend to keep his big trap closed about this ex. You don't need to be "updated" by anyone on what she's doing until you're 100% over her. 1
NVO Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Thanks man and yeah that's what I'm doing it hard but this will be all past me soon Good thinking! The temptation to check up her social media accounts, or anything else, will come up to you every now and then. In those moments you have to keep strong! Checking up her social media or anything is breaking NC for me. I was in a three weeks of NC when she contacted me. Kept it short and simple. Felt good about it actually, kind of a ego stroke when your ex is checking up with you. Then after another week, she texted me a happy b-day. The next day I broke NC and texted her and checked her Instagram. Saw a picture of her with some dude, and some other guy commenting 'With his bae.' This ****ed me up pretty hard, and the day after I regretted contacting her so much, even though the conversation was fun, and she called me sweet a couple of times. You might be thinking: "Wow, my ex calling me sweet is a good sign." Believe me, you don't want to hear that kind of stuff because it's messing with your mind. 1
organizedchaos Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Thanks man and yeah that's what I'm doing it hard but this will be all past me soon It will if you stick with this and stay strong. No peeking. No, "just a quick look" at her Twitter or whatever. Block everything. And stay that way. 1
kendahke Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 Exes are exes for a reason. They have been demoted from having a place of importance and immediacy in contact and information. The minute you break up, block them; nail the dang door shut. 2
professor meowington Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 you need a girl with integrity she has non move on!
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 29, 2015 Author Posted July 29, 2015 From previous posts you can read about my story with my ex. But today I received a text message from my ex saying "hey ." . A few days prior she attempted adding me on Facebook but I rejected it. I don't know why but I decided to break the no contact And creep her Twitter. I saw as her backround picture a text message from her ex well now boyfriend something about them getting married. That hurt. Now I see why it's important not to creep or spy to help yourself heal. I'm still trying to understand why she keeps contacting me considering she so serious with her old ex the one she left me for. Any thoughts ? I never responded to her text message though. This is all just not making any sense to me. We just recently broke up to , not even a month yet.
Phoenixashes Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 I think your thread might be merged. Just ignore. She made her decision. Not sure what she's reaching out for. Guilty emotional moment where she had a fight with current and needed some familiarity?
mightycpa Posted July 29, 2015 Posted July 29, 2015 Maybe she wanted you to hear it from her, rather than through whatever grapevine may exist. Or maybe she wanted one final bumpin' uglies session. Who knows? You weren't prepared for either extreme, so try to forget it as best you can.
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 29, 2015 Author Posted July 29, 2015 I think your thread might be merged. Just ignore. She made her decision. Not sure what she's reaching out for. Guilty emotional moment where she had a fight with current and needed some familiarity? Yeah I'm just trying to understand. It's all not making sense to me. And I have no one to talk to about all of this. But thank you for the responses. They have helped me a lot.
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 29, 2015 Author Posted July 29, 2015 Don't think it's a good idea if I reply to her.
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 29, 2015 Author Posted July 29, 2015 It will if you stick with this and stay strong. No peeking. No, "just a quick look" at her Twitter or whatever. Block everything. And stay that way. Yes I know I'm just having a hard time with this all. Then she keeps trying to contact me which I'm confused about. Then I peaked cause she messaged me today and I saw something I didn't want to see . Talking about marriage with him on Twitter. But I don't know why she's still messaging me. So I just decided to delete Twitter so the urge wouldn't be there. Any thoughts on why she's still texting me ?
organizedchaos Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Yes I know I'm just having a hard time with this all. Then she keeps trying to contact me which I'm confused about. Then I peaked cause she messaged me today and I saw something I didn't want to see . Talking about marriage with him on Twitter. But I don't know why she's still messaging me. So I just decided to delete Twitter so the urge wouldn't be there. Any thoughts on why she's still texting me ? IT DOES NOT MATTER! It means nothing. I told you not to just take a peek. Glad you deleted Twitter. Now, BLOCK ALL OTHER MEANS SHE HAS OF CONTACTING YOU LIKE WE TOLD YOU! Have we been wrong about anything so far? Please take our advice, it's for your own good. 1
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 30, 2015 Author Posted July 30, 2015 IT DOES NOT MATTER! It means nothing. I told you not to just take a peek. Glad you deleted Twitter. Now, BLOCK ALL OTHER MEANS SHE HAS OF CONTACTING YOU LIKE WE TOLD YOU! Have we been wrong about anything so far? Please take our advice, it's for your own good. No you guys haven't. Thank you for everything. And I'm doing that right now as we speak. Ready to be myself again 2
mightycpa Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Yeah I'm just trying to understand. It's all not making sense to me. And I have no one to talk to about all of this. But thank you for the responses. They have helped me a lot.I know that you want to understand, but there is no understanding to be had until you feel like she does. You need to accept, rather than to understand. The only way you will understand is if you no longer care about her. Because that's what it takes to understand someone who doesn't see you that way anymore.
organizedchaos Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 No you guys haven't. Thank you for everything. And I'm doing that right now as we speak. Ready to be myself again This is the only way you will ever get back to yourself in the quickest way possible.
aloneinaz Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 Don't think it's a good idea if I reply to her. How old is this girl? I'm betting early 20's? The good news is you only dated her for a few months. You should rebound quickly and start dating when you're ready. Why is she contacting you? Again, she probably doesn't like the fact that she's being ignored by someone she felt she had wrapped around her finger. Maybe is some game to her to get you to reply to stroke her ego. The only thing that matters is that you stay VANISHED from her life and have NC w/her. She didn't feel it w/you and dumped you. That's the main point. There's plenty of others that will..
Dreamworld Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 I agree with the others. It's best to just completely delete them and vanish and not leave any traces of them around. I had to take the severe route and delete more than 50 friends off FB who he and I were mutually friends with to just remove all vestiges of him completely. Besides I also knew I wouldn't be seeing them anymore so it facilitated the process. I did try to stay friends with him but it was obvious things had just gotten really awkward and he was hiding all his activity from me in the aftermath of the breakup. Basically we were technically still friends at first, but he was hiding all his movements from me. So I pretty much went from seeing him posting all the time to a suspiciously quiet wall. So I figured a clean break would be better than this weird ass crap. Someone here said it feels like a kind of sweet revenge as well as healing. I completely vanished from that circle of friends. No tags of him. No seeing him liking or commenting on another friend's post/pic etc. Just completely gone.
NVO Posted July 30, 2015 Posted July 30, 2015 No you guys haven't. Thank you for everything. And I'm doing that right now as we speak. Ready to be myself again That's the spirit! And if you can't handle the fact that she is texting you, which I think we could all understand, just tell her to back off. Be polite and mature about it, don't start ranting. Tell her that if she really loved you, or respects you, she needs to give you some space, or something like that. If she keeps on texting after that, don't even reply and block everything. "You want to do this the hard way? That's fine. I invented the hard way."
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