Heartbrokenguy Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 I was dating a girl for almost 4 months. But she started acting kind of weird the last month and distant. She started pushing me away And didn't really try to come around me a lot like she use to. This is coming from the same girl that told me that no one has ever treated her like how I treated her , she was in love with me and she saw herself marrying me etc. But I was her second serious relationship since breaking up with her ex back in September. Me and her got together in March. So long story short the same day she broke up with my I found out she went to see her ex and they had been in contact. So I asked her about and she insisted that it was nothing. Few days later she told me that she needed me and she wanted to work on us. So I agreed and then we were good for about a week. Then I found out she was still texting him so I broke things off with her and she went back to him. Then days later she texts me saying she didn't mean to hurt me and how she just loves him in a different way and how she doesn't want me out of her life and how she found a friend and so much more in me. Then she called me and talked to me on the phone a few days after that and said how she misses are sex and she wants to come visit me at school and blah blah blah. And she insisted that her and the ex aren't back together. Then I found out that her and her ex went back home to visit her mom. Which she lied to me about. So I decided to try the no contact and completely cut her off and blocked her off of all my social media. Then she texted me asking why I blocked her on snapchat. I don't know what to do. Any thoughts? Should I reply or just continue to ignore her ????
mrldii Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 If you reply, you aren't really going "NC"...you were just pouting 'til she paid attention to you. If you're done with it all, stay "NC". If you're enjoying the roll coaster, then by all means, respond...it'll make the ride last longer. Best of luck to you, OP...
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 25, 2015 Author Posted July 25, 2015 I just don't understand how she could say she had no choice but to talk to him
frigginlost Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 I just don't understand how she could say she had no choice but to talk to him This is gonna sting a little, sorry: Because he has her heart. It appears you were a rebound. Being a rebound bites hard because the beginning of one is so damn intense. The best thing you can do is go No Contact. Any attempt at low contact or "being there" for her, is going to put you right in the friend zone and allow her to cake eat. She made her decision regarding your relationship with her, and now she has to live by it. It sucks man. Rebounds are absolutely brutal.
aloneinaz Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 Listen my friend, she likes the attention she's getting from both her old ex and now you, her new ex. From experience, it feels AWEFULLY good to have two people wanting you, it really does. So, right now, you're her fall back or PLAN B. She likes the other guy more but wants you to continue to pay attention to her and stroke her ego as well. You have a choice, be her emotional door mat at HER convenience or, vanish from her life and ignore any further contact from her. I'd NNNEEVVEERRR be someone's second choice. After only a few months of dating, she clearly wasn't that into you, sorry to say. The good news is you sound young. Go out and sow some oats and relax for a while. You'll find someone new who will make you their PLAN A
Itspointless Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 Then days later she texts me saying she didn't mean to hurt me and how she just loves him in a different way and how she doesn't want me out of her life and how she found a friend and so much more in me. [...] she misses are sex and she wants to come visit me at school Isn't that nice of her, she misses the sex. This isn't what you signed up for right? Follow aloneinaz his advice. Sorry man, take care of yourself. She is young, she is selfish.
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 25, 2015 Author Posted July 25, 2015 If you reply, you aren't really going "NC"...you were just pouting 'til she paid attention to you. If you're done with it all, stay "NC". If you're enjoying the roll coaster, then by all means, respond...it'll make the ride last longer. Best of luck to you, OP... Thank you so much for all of the replies. Really helps me. I know it's gonna take awhile to get over this.
DKT3 Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 Its been said here that she has made her decision about your relationship, I disagree. You have simply been demoted to second string. Her saying that she misses sex with you clearly shows that she is trying to keep you on the hook and keep you ready to step back in the game should the other guy not pan out. Thinking about it in that sense, do you believe your worth more then to be her backup guy. I mean right now she has you right where she wants you, stuck and waiting on her. I would you suggest you make on last contact and tell her your not going to be her backup plan and tell her you no longer desire to have any more contact period, you don't intend on being her backup or he support system. Tell her she made her decision and in doing so she it means/meant she was cutting you out of her life. Then block her on everything.
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 26, 2015 Author Posted July 26, 2015 It just hurts me everyday to know that she is happy with him. And I'm just left here with nothing. And then I don't understand how she can say she didn't mean to hurt me.
ravfour4 Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Because right now she's fueled by emotions and is incredibly selfish. She's following her feelings without any regard for the consequences of her actions. I'm sure this honeymoon phase will end and she'll be back to her miserable self.
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 26, 2015 Author Posted July 26, 2015 You are right. Just gonna let her go.
catlady11 Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 I'm sorry this happened to you. Sounds like you're her fallback guy so if things don't work out with her ex she still has you. Don't let her get away with it. She's being incredibly selfish and one of these days karma will teach her a lesson.
foolinlove79 Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 That ia crazy! They broke up in September and she dated you since March and only now she has gone back to him. That really sux. It is so hard to tell how someone feels about their ex. You only get one side of the story and obviously they would play down any feeling they did have. You got to go nc and move on. You deserve better then to be second choice. And it seems like that is what you are.
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 26, 2015 Author Posted July 26, 2015 Thank you so much everyone for all of the advice. I will continue with the no contact and move on. Wish their was an easier way to get over all of this. Here's a message she sent me a few days ago. "The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. And yeah I love him in a different way and that's only because we've been there for each for a minute. But when I said I wanted to work things out , I meant that , I was really trying. But I know I hurt you , you deserve the work *my name. I don't want us to be like this , I found a friend and so much more with you and I can't lose that at all. No matter what you think about me I still think and wonder about you everyday. "
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 26, 2015 Author Posted July 26, 2015 Hardest part is knowing by the no contact is how much closer she's getting to him
organizedchaos Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Hardest part is knowing by the no contact is how much closer she's getting to him How do you know that?
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 How do you know that? I'm just assuming
foolinlove79 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Only 2 people know how their rs is and that is them In my experience they have aleeady broken up once and they will more then likely again. Whoever broke up with the other they weren't willing to work on the rs And it was a better option to end it. Let me tell you what its like rekindling an rs with an ex..at first you are on a high. You are so happy you are back together. And its also very comfortable cos you know them so well. After a while the old problems resurface and the person that was dumped is always worried they will leave again which adds to the problems. This wont last.
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 Only 2 people know how their rs is and that is them In my experience they have aleeady broken up once and they will more then likely again. Whoever broke up with the other they weren't willing to work on the rs And it was a better option to end it. Let me tell you what its like rekindling an rs with an ex..at first you are on a high. You are so happy you are back together. And its also very comfortable cos you know them so well. After a while the old problems resurface and the person that was dumped is always worried they will leave again which adds to the problems. This wont last. You are right thanks so much for the advice. What do you think of the message she sent me?
foolinlove79 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 You are right thanks so much for the advice. What do you think of the message she sent me? She wants to keep you around in case it doesnt work with her ex. You are plan b. I Think if an ex had absolutely zero interest in you there would be zero contact after they bu with you. I mean why contact you at all if they really are done. But in saying that you really should move on. I wasted 6 years of my life in an on and off rs. He alwaYs came crawling back. This time he tried and i wasnt receptive so he moved on but still contacts me. I have only now totally blocked hiM and that ia because i realized i deserve better. I deserve to be someones first choice. You need to realize the same. SHe might be one of those people who are never happy. When shes with you she wants her ex. When shes with her ex she wants you. Dont waste years on this person. If you take her back down the track ahe will leave again and you will be right back where you are now
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 So I deleted my ex off of my snapchat. She would always watch my stories and even send me snapchats sometimes. I would even try to make her jealous on there. But I saw her on there with her ex , the one she left me for. But I'm just wondering if I made the right decision by deleting her off of my snapchat. Any thoughts ?
Chi townD Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Dude, you did the right thing. You need to distance yourself from her. That's part of NC. I know that it sucks and you might feel like you're being petty. But, you're not. You're safeguarding your feelings. I mean, she snap chatted with her Ex, the guy she left you for. That had to hurt to see. Am I right? So, why would you want to subjugate yourself to any more of that? Look, she made the choice to have you out of her life She basically told you that your services as a boyfriend were no longer required. So, she lost the right to get to glimpse into your life. Head up and keep strong, dude! Make positive changes in your life!
Author Heartbrokenguy Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 Dude, you did the right thing. You need to distance yourself from her. That's part of NC. I know that it sucks and you might feel like you're being petty. But, you're not. You're safeguarding your feelings. I mean, she snap chatted with her Ex, the guy she left you for. That had to hurt to see. Am I right? So, why would you want to subjugate yourself to any more of that? Look, she made the choice to have you out of her life She basically told you that your services as a boyfriend were no longer required. So, she lost the right to get to glimpse into your life. Head up and keep strong, dude! Make positive changes in your life!. Yeah it did hurt a lot seeing them together. And thanks man I'm trying to stay strong it's hard
Chi townD Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 . Yeah it did hurt a lot seeing them together. And thanks man I'm trying to stay strong it's hard No one ever said NC was easy. If it was, we wouldn't even be here. But, NC is a tool to help you heal. Will NC heal you up? Yep! Will doing NC in conjunction to making positive changes in your life heal you even faster? Absolutely! SO, put yourself out there! Get to the gym! Schedule fun things to do! Take a trip! Travel around! See what's out there! Meet new people from different backgrounds and cultures! Your Ex wasn't your entire world. The faster you put yourself out there, the faster you'll see it.
SammySammy Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 I have no exes on social media. It seems to be better for me that way. Better for my short-term and long-term peace of mind. 1
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