AugustSnow Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 I was talking to a best friend of me who is a guy and we pretty much tell each other everything. He was explaining to me how guys don't express themselves the way women do and somehow we got on the topic of how women are intimidated by a woman's beauty as to why he may not know how to talk to her or know the right things to say to her. Too bad we didn't really get to finish the discussion due to our busy schedule and all. So in your honest opinions, what do you think the difference (as far as signs) is between a guy not being interested as to why he finds it hard to talk to a woman much vs. him intimidated?
StalwartMind Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 (edited) Generalizing is in most cases a pretty bad thing, there will always be those who fall outside of this specification, both men and women. In that sense there could be many answers to your question, as always it depends on the individual. I do think in most cases it comes down to how we both passively and actively perceive things and rank them. The better we feel something is, typically the more we become afraid of losing/disappointing said object/person. If you can by default, learn to not think of anyone being below or above others, then you'll think of everyone as equals, which we are, until something changes that view. Looks, status, race, gender shouldn't influence this but to most it actually does. I don't know what most guys do (or women for that matter) when it comes to showing signs or what they feel about others. I also don't really care, since I'll approach every new person I encounter in the same way as I always do. What you do, who you are, what you think, like, dislike has no influence on me, you are after all just another human. If you should prove to be someone who have qualities I appreciate, then I'd like your company, if not, then you are just going to be another person on this planet and I'm sure you'll encounter someone else, who is more to your liking too. I'm not sure if I put all that perfectly well, probably not, but to me life/people is fairly simple, there is no need to make things more complex than they have to be. Edited July 25, 2015 by StalwartMind 1
Gloria25 Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 Ok, I went and read your history of other posts/threads cuz I often believe that it's better to know specifics instead of me giving "generalized" advice... In your situation, I "liked" what I agreed with in your thread about "The Janitor" (BTW, don't they call them like "Maintenance Technicians/Engineers" now a days?) Anywho, the age and his occupation might be the factors here that are why he's not approaching you and/or is intimidated. Actually, I don't feel comfortable in calling it "intimidation". I believe he's trying to be practical here. I mean, some people will say "age doesn't matter", "he/she is more mature than his/her peers", etc....But fact is, when you have a significant age gap and what age the two people have (i.e. 20 - 30 vs 50 - 60), there's going to be two people with entirely different stages of their lives going on... I mean, think of it, when you're 40, you'll still be horny, probably working, and active...He'll be going on 60, probably lowering libido, and looking towards "coasting" and/or retiring. So, like others said...I think this guy is using his head - which is, he's being realistic about the age gap and unlike some selfish guys, he isn't gonna just date you and set you up for disappointment so he can have a younger, hot body on his arm for a few years. Or, he could be married...
mrldii Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 I've always been suspicious of the "she's so beautiful she intimidates men" theory of why a woman is not approached by a man/men... generally-speaking, men are visual creatures and are drawn to beauty; after eons of practice, I'm pretty sure most have it in their wiring TO be able to approach, should the desire be there. Being more vested in the outcome and therefore stammering and stuttering a bit more than *normal*, sure...but to completely give up without a try...? Nahhhh. Flip it 180...how long into it before you'd start rolling your eyes if your male friend told you in all seriousness, "Yeah...it's difficult for me to meet women...they're intimidated by the magnitude of my sheer awesomeness..." Yeah. No. 2
danmillar Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 I am intimidating to a lot of women, so here are a couple of pointers. 1. any setting which involves the following will minimize inhibitions: alcohol, music, a large crowd, a late start time in the evening. 2. the more frequently a woman sees me, the higher the likelihood she will be able to overcome her inhibition/intimidation. 3. the more interest I show and the more compliments I give, the more comfortable she will feel. 4. if she is at her workplace, she will generally feel more comfortable with me (although there are exceptions) 5. any sign of upset or any strong emotion, usually with zero noticeable provocation is typically a strong sign of interest I was talking to a best friend of me who is a guy and we pretty much tell each other everything. He was explaining to me how guys don't express themselves the way women do and somehow we got on the topic of how women are intimidated by a woman's beauty as to why he may not know how to talk to her or know the right things to say to her. Too bad we didn't really get to finish the discussion due to our busy schedule and all. So in your honest opinions, what do you think the difference (as far as signs) is between a guy not being interested as to why he finds it hard to talk to a woman much vs. him intimidated? 1
Author AugustSnow Posted July 26, 2015 Author Posted July 26, 2015 Ok, I went and read your history of other posts/threads cuz I often believe that it's better to know specifics instead of me giving "generalized" advice... In your situation, I "liked" what I agreed with in your thread about "The Janitor" (BTW, don't they call them like "Maintenance Technicians/Engineers" now a days?) Anywho, the age and his occupation might be the factors here that are why he's not approaching you and/or is intimidated. Actually, I don't feel comfortable in calling it "intimidation". I believe he's trying to be practical here. I mean, some people will say "age doesn't matter", "he/she is more mature than his/her peers", etc....But fact is, when you have a significant age gap and what age the two people have (i.e. 20 - 30 vs 50 - 60), there's going to be two people with entirely different stages of their lives going on... I mean, think of it, when you're 40, you'll still be horny, probably working, and active...He'll be going on 60, probably lowering libido, and looking towards "coasting" and/or retiring. So, like others said...I think this guy is using his head - which is, he's being realistic about the age gap and unlike some selfish guys, he isn't gonna just date you and set you up for disappointment so he can have a younger, hot body on his arm for a few years. Or, he could be married... I'm over that situation. This is a general question I'm asking. Nothing to do with him.
danmillar Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 To be honest: 1. beautiful/hot woman = he may be intimidated 2. plain looking woman = he is not interested 2
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