But11 Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 I currently live with my boyfriend. Whenever he has some free time, he spends it playing video games. Don't get me wrong, I love a bit of gaming myself but I think he's being unreasonable. I usually spend about 2 hours in the morning, on a weekend, playing games. He will wake up about 12pm, I'll ask him if he wants to play his game or watch TV, (most of the time he answers yes) and from that moment, I'll be lucky to have a conversation with him that day. I'm not exaggerating when I say, he will be on the console from the time he gets up, til about 3-4... In the morning! I go out for the day and when I return, he's in the same spot gaming. I cook dinner for us and he STILL doesn't move (he'll eat it and play simultaneously, headphones on so no chance of a conversation). I don't know what to do. I thought it was a phase at first but it's been going on for a few months. He says he plays to take his mind off things (we've been going through some financial difficulties). Is this a reasonable explanation? I don't think it is since I'm going through the same issue. Should I just accept that different people cope in different ways? Or is he not interested in me anymore?
mrldii Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 OP, IMHO it doesn't matter if it's video games, studying for a degree, working out for a better body, playing a guitar, or diddling another woman, in any relationship, it requires shared time engaged in shared activities and creating shared patterns and shared memories to create and sustain said relationship. For whatever reason ('good' or 'bad'), he's not putting forth the time/energy TO create/sustain a relationship with another...and that 'another' is you. So...why are you?!? 1
Diezel Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 Stop enabling him. You are partly responsible for creating and allowing the situation. 2
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 Stop cooking & cleaning up for him. Go out as much as possible & not hang around his den. If he doesn't figure stuff out & include you in his life, make plans to leave him. 3
craw Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 Listen up, this is coming from a female who was in a five relationship with a gamer. You either accept this **** or move on. It's that simple. We tried to work on our relationship and it was always me willing to compromise. My mother has told me this is to be expected in all marriages etc, but for me the final straw was lack of sex. In most relationships there will always be separate time apart, but he literally will play one stupid game for 6 hours straight until I finally say, Hi I'm hungry. So I either end up cooking or we go out to eat. You know the sad thing is? One day there was a power outage. So no Netflix, no his pc playing. Most of the time was just me talking, then we had awkward sex. Everyone in this world is crazy, you have to decide what crazy you want to be up with. How much can you tolerate? He is the most beautiful intelligent wonderful soul I have connected with, but I finally had to draw the line. He won't change. 1
preraph Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 You may as well just move out. He's a gaming addict. Liking a bit of gaming is a way different animal than a loser who gets addicted to the momentary fleeting victory they can get over and over gaming. He's not up to a girlfriend. He's got issues. He's got exactly what going for him? Nothing or he wouldn't be feeling so rewarded by gaming.
Gloria25 Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 I would cook, clean, and sex a "man"...not a "boy" who plays video games endlessly... So, sounds like he sees you as his "mommy" rather than his "woman", Kick him to the curb and he can go back in mommy's basement/garage and play video games all he wants while she tends to him. I mean, I used to play video games till like 3AM with my sister and stuff, but come on, I still worked, went to school, exercised and even walked the mall and other girly stuff with my sister...in other words, we had a "life" outside of the video games.
mike_89 Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 Don't be his mom/slave. Gaming is fine but addiction is not, and the signs he is showing sure do look like an addiction. I think from the limited information I have that he does love and appreciate you, I just think this man has a very serious gaming issue. Does he still have friends or contact his friends? Does he do anything besides gaming, really? Sure people can play a ton of video games, I do too, even crazy hours like 3 or 4 am in the night but I never sacrifice quality time with friends, going salsa dancing or sports to play video games for example. If he has nothing in his life besides gaming and is not interested in ANYTHING else, he is probably addicted and needs help to correct his behaviour. By being his mom/slave you will only strengthen the behaviour. I guess you could stay with him but dealing with an addict is difficult.
Keenly Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 Stuff like this makes me glad that while I may be addicted to gaming and the internet in general, I'm not THAT addicted. Girlfriend > video games. Unfortunately, this is a lesson you don't learn until one leaves due to the other.
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