pgirl9000 Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 I had an unforgettable relation with my co-worker for 8 months and recently i moved to another country. I am a married women. I thought i was doing the right thing by moving away, to avoid going any deeper and get back to my husband and family. Now back in another country, more than a month has passed. I still think about him through out the day even though i am very busy. Night times are worse, i am unable to sleep with sexual thoughts about him. My mind keeps rewinding the memories i had with him through out the day. I am very upset that i cant see him or meet him. Talking to him will not help. I cry several times a day and night, missing him badly. He was a professional friend for 1.5 years before he started showing interest to date me. Once i met him for the 1st coffee, i could not help liking him and wanting to see him more. We had our romances in the office elevator (kissing each other passionately), going together in the train rides, working together in the same project, eyeing each other Monday to Friday in office. It was like a fatal attraction, wanting to kiss him and needing him more and him needing me more. My life was crazy, meeting him in the car, touching each other, groping etc. It was like the sight of him, his voice turns me on.(the way i was never turned ON ever..). It still does. It feels like i am going to die without his kisses, touches and closeness. No one had ever made me feel this way except him. He is married too. I know it is wrong and still is. But my need for him is still out of control and he is still haunting my mind. This makes me upset, depressed and i could not focus on anything for a long time except thinking of him. The way he smiles at me sexually romantically, the way he touches me in the right places to arouse me. (even in the train/elevator). The way i always feel butterflies in my stomach and my heart beating faster when ever he is near. And how my legs feel like jelly whenever he touches or kisses me. I still remember each and every moment clearly just like yesterday. I feel so pathetic for myself, that i can't still let go of him and move on mentally. My body and my mind is constantly craving for him which i have never done for anybody before. I don't know how to free my mind from his thoughts and memories, how to stop pining for him, wanting to go back to him (which is not going to happen). It's like torturing myself. I am STUCK! I need to get out of this, but i don't know how. Please help! :lmao:
salparadise Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 (edited) It's a shame you didn't meet him when you were both single. That kind of passion is a powerful thing. If what you say is correct (not going to happen) then you're just going to have to suffer the feelings until your brain chemistry equilibrates. It's a loss, so the process has an element of grieving in it too. You will probably always remember the intensity, but this was an affair not a marriage or long-term relationship (love vs. lust). In time the feelings will subside. I's not so much a matter of making the feelings go away, as learning to cope and function and nurture something worthwhile in your new life. So you moved your whole family to a different country in order to break it off? Do they know what happened? How is your relationship with your husband? Therapy will probably help you come to terms and refocus elsewhere, but it's still going to be difficult for awhile. There is no magic trick to make the feelings suddenly disappear. Edited July 24, 2015 by salparadise
Author pgirl9000 Posted July 24, 2015 Author Posted July 24, 2015 It's a shame you didn't meet him when you were both single. That kind of passion is a powerful thing. If what you say is correct (not going to happen) then you're just going to have to suffer the feelings until your brain chemistry equilibrates. It's a loss, so the process has an element of grieving in it too. You will probably always remember the intensity, but this was an affair not a marriage or long-term relationship (love vs. lust). In time the feelings will subside. I's not so much a matter of making the feelings go away, as learning to cope and function and nurture something worthwhile in your new life. So you moved your whole family to a different country in order to break it off? Do they know what happened? How is your relationship with your husband? Therapy will probably help you come to terms and refocus elsewhere, but it's still going to be difficult for awhile. There is no magic trick to make the feelings suddenly disappear. No I did not leave country because of him.. it was for personal reasons..related to family. The decision to leave temporarily for an year was taken an year back.
Jemay Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 I agree with the poster before, it's brain chemistry, powerful stuff, and you're in detox, like an addiction, and it takes a while. Since it's a matter of you want the cookie but can't have the cookie, it's going to be even harder because you feel deprived. Seriously focus on you, and your family. You've got to shift this powerful energy and put it into the people who actually deserve that kind of attention. Feeling like **** is kind of your punishment for betraying your husband. Everything in life has consequences.... sorry, I'm sure you're hurting big time, it will pass.
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