seasickpeeve Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 The last time I spoke to my ex was a few days ago where I was mostly calm and collected and whilst I was kinda begging for him back, I was doing it in the most dignified controlled way I could muster at the time. I wasn't like 'whhhhhhhy? pllllleassssse change your mind!' But more like 'I think we both need space and I would rather a break than a break up' However, after two days of no contact I started to get angry at realising it was actually the end and started feeling like his way out had been way too easy and whilst I am struggling to get out of bed in the mornings, he is out there care free and full of relief probably. So I did the stupid thing and angry texted him. If you are tempted to.........DON'T! I feel completely stupid. I terms of the power balance I have just given him all the power knowing I am sat around feeling angry and hurt and that is not good for recovery. It felt much better when I had left it in a calm manner. Of course, he hasn't replied. And I feel like I just ruined my chance at ever being on friendly terms in the future 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Xiomn Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 (edited) I feel the same way mate, went NC for a week got back on talking terms with her again in a friendly way despite her telling me to never contact her again just a week prior. When I broke NC I ended up making it even worse and she ended up having to force NC on me instead. We all learn from our mistakes by doing them, otherwise humans wouldn't be where we are today. Some people won't listen, I never did. I learned the hard way as most people probably will unfortunately. Still, always nice to try and prevent others from making them regardless. Edited July 24, 2015 by Xiomn Link to post Share on other sites
Author seasickpeeve Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 yeah, the head and the heart don't align during this sort of stress. Through not having a reply though it has helped me move onto a more angry f-you stage which I feel better in! It probably won't last but is a welcome relief from not being able to breath properly because I'm so sad. Hope you are doing well. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseHeart Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Don't worry people mess up all the time in the healing/moving on process. I've been there as well. It happens to even the best of people. Time will fix things. Besides he's your ex. What he thinks of you now is irrelevant and doesn't matter. Your focus should be on YOU and what you are feeling and how you're doing. Take him off that pedestal. I'm sure he has made a ton of mistakes too.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author seasickpeeve Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 Thankyou. I'm glad I messed up early on in this and hope I don't give in again! Hopefully the embarrassment is enough to remember next time I reach for the phone. It's the sudden switch from something to nothing that is hurting and making me fight for that something back. It's hard but I keep telling myself that the something I'm fighting for obviously isn't enough. I just don't see it yet but will. I suppose we try to do anything to stop pain, of course we do, it hurts like hell. But it's better to just sit with it rather than prolong it. Link to post Share on other sites
Morphine Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 I was 10 days into NC, but I had to break it because of moving my house. Anyways...on day 10 I felt amazing. Once I broke NC....I broke down and cried in front of her. She cried a little bit...but now I am day 3 into NC and I already feel better Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Why will you want to be friend with a coward? That's not the way to treat someone who loved you and cared for you, even if there's no more feelings towards that person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author seasickpeeve Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 I suppose at this point I still love and feel like he's a good person and feel rubbish at the thought of never seeing him again in anyway. I actually want to see him happy. He's a great person and we had great times. Maybe, because I love him, I am being too understanding towards him and his reasons for this. He can't help not loving me or wanting me anymore no matter how much it hurts me, and the only way he could have moved either of us forward is to end it and let me go. Possibly in time I will look back and say that I can no longer excuse him for the way he ended it. He dragged it out for over a year changing his mind from I love you to I don't love you. I asked him a year ago to leave me if he wasn't in love after he had told me he wasn't. He came around the next day.... Maybe in time I'll see that as unforgivable and won't want to be friends. But right now I love and care for him to the extent I'd forgive and understand anything. It's like I care for him more than myself. Thats the problem! Link to post Share on other sites
Author seasickpeeve Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 I was 10 days into NC, but I had to break it because of moving my house. Anyways...on day 10 I felt amazing. Once I broke NC....I broke down and cried in front of her. She cried a little bit...but now I am day 3 into NC and I already feel better It's crazy isn't it?! It's only been about nine days for me since the break up but I'm swinging from feeling excited to distraught in the space of fifteen minutes. I feel slightly insane! At least your ex has showed some emotion. Mine has showed zero......I cried and apologised saying 'sorry, I can't help it. just give me a minute' He looked pissed off and said 'stop it'. Like I was choosing to cry to inconvenience him! Link to post Share on other sites
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