LookAtThisPOst Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 This topic of the 20-somethings still living with their parents, but let's take it another step. How about those who have worked for their parents business all their lives? I know of a woman who reached her 40s working for her mother's insurance agency since her early 20s and STILL is. Probably plans retiring that way as it's a small town with no real lucrative work opportunities beyond waiting on tables or manning the cash register or working in a green house. The plus side is that she has her own home, car, etc. But this is due in part of having job security and never having to "struggle" sending out endless applications and going through countless interviews and getting rejected because "mommy and daddy" got their kid a job. As a man, this wouldn't be a deal breaker for me as I'm looking for a companion and not base it on a person's life path. Would this be in the same wheel house as living with ones parents?
StalwartMind Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 As a man too, no deal breaker for me, but then again not much would be, as I can probably adopt my own lifestyle and job to most people's lives if I had to, including in different countries as well. I don't see the problem, however if it doesn't fit your desires and goals, then by all means, total deal breaker for you then. I think people put too much thought into fairly insignificant areas, but again it greatly depends what on earth you expect from life and your partner. 1
oldshirt Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 so does this mean you would respect her more if she was working for somebody else's mother's insurance agency? 4
stillafool Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 I would consider it a plus. She will someday own her parents business. I think it's great. Good for her that she didn't have to struggle. Why would this be a bad thing? 7
carhill Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 In the case of your example, presuming she's licensed and is actually working as an insurance agent, she has demonstrated stability over years and, given it's a small town, will take over the agency when her mother retires or dies. The main downside would be lack of mobility. A business like that, if she's married to it, is not going anywhere. If you like the small town and want to live there, at least during the working years, then that. If not, pass. She's not going anywhere. If she's an insurance agent (unknown), she's sending out applications for work all the time. It's called selling. Can't make a commission without it. Selling insurance and securities on the side was how my dad paid for my private education. Hard work; a lot of networking and cold calling and rejection. Just like applying for jobs. 1
Imported Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 I don't see a problem. I like being more about family. My dad was going to start his own business and wanted me to be in on it with him years ago. I decided to be on my own instead. Wish I woulda took him up on it now. I think in the USA or west "first world" nations, family is looked down on. It shouldn't be that way. It's not about making money for you and being "independent". You're very much dependent on your job, but you're primarily helping people that are not family now and don't have your future and best interest in mind. My dad just wanted to start his business to work with me and keep me around. I shoulda went with it. 4
d0nnivain Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 Growing a small business is no easy feat. I would have no problem with somebody who worked for the family business, the key word being worked. If the person was simply drawing a check without making a contribution unless that check had a LOT of zeros in it & the family business would continue after the parents' death without the child's participation I might be able to get over it & live that life of leisure but a true parasitic sponge of a an offspring wouldn't sit well with me 1
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 Very unattractive to me & I think it's unhealthy. I prefer people that have some independent qualities. I get wanting family involved in the business. If I ran the show, my kids would be banned from working in my business until they had proven themselves in the real world, without parental influence or involvement. They would be working non stop (pt while in school) from 16 until well into their 20s, before I'd think of hiring them. They wouldn't be allowed to work for any associates either. They would need at least 2 years of full time work experience, that showed increases in responsibly.
MissBee Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 This topic of the 20-somethings still living with their parents, but let's take it another step. How about those who have worked for their parents business all their lives? I know of a woman who reached her 40s working for her mother's insurance agency since her early 20s and STILL is. Probably plans retiring that way as it's a small town with no real lucrative work opportunities beyond waiting on tables or manning the cash register or working in a green house. The plus side is that she has her own home, car, etc. But this is due in part of having job security and never having to "struggle" sending out endless applications and going through countless interviews and getting rejected because "mommy and daddy" got their kid a job. As a man, this wouldn't be a deal breaker for me as I'm looking for a companion and not base it on a person's life path. Would this be in the same wheel house as living with ones parents? I don't think working for one's parents is in itself a sign of anything negative, neither do I think living at home is. I would evaluate the person on who they are, if their goals and ambitions are in sync with my life path and the usual stuff I evaluate people I date on. I don't think it is a crime to be fortunate enough to have parents who can employ you or possibly be in line for a family business. Nothing is inherently wrong with that. It doesn't automatically mean you have life easy or don't have to work hard etc. For some people this may be the case, but for some people their parents still tried to instill the value of hard work into them and they have to go to work and do their best like everyone else or their parents will fire them. I went to college with people whose parents owned Fortune 500 companies or small businesses and one friend in particular, her dad owned a law firm, she always knew she would work for him, but she still had to work hard, go to college, get good grades, then go to a good law school and prove herself before she could work for her dad and I remember she would always say that her dad required that of her and made her know she wasn't going to be a shoe-in if she didn't have the grades, the work ethic, everything, as he had a firm to keep running and there were other qualified applicants. So that said, it depends, and it isn't really an automatic that working for your parents means you are not qualified and had life easy. This belief in itself is why some people who do work for their parents (or even say kids of famous musicians, actors, etc) will often feel like they have to go above and beyond to show that they deserve where they are because there are people who will automatically judge them as never working hard, having it easy and being handed things.
MissBee Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 I don't see a problem. I like being more about family. My dad was going to start his own business and wanted me to be in on it with him years ago. I decided to be on my own instead. Wish I woulda took him up on it now. I think in the USA or west "first world" nations, family is looked down on. It shouldn't be that way. It's not about making money for you and being "independent". You're very much dependent on your job, but you're primarily helping people that are not family now and don't have your future and best interest in mind. My dad just wanted to start his business to work with me and keep me around. I shoulda went with it. Such good points! I came to the US as a teen and even the whole moving out at 18 concept was totally bizarre to me and where I'm originally from people do not associate independence, maturity, success etc. with whether or not you live with family. It's common in fact for people who have careers etc. to still live in the family home and contribute and many move out when they get married. The American idea of independence and individualism to a fault is certainly not the same in the culture where I'm from where interdependence is more valued and where independence isn't based on running as far away from family as possible. Likewise, your point about working for others is so right! Unless you're an entrepreneur or own your own firm or practice, the majority of Americans work for some random person they don't know and if it is a huge company, it's even more random and are making someone else rich while they only see a fraction of that. So if you have the chance to work for your own family, who you know, who care about you, and where you'll benefit more directly in terms of inheritance, how you're treated, a legacy etc...why the heck not?!
DrReplyInRhymes Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 The plus side is that she has her own home, car, etc. But this is due in part of having job security and never having to "struggle" sending out endless applications and going through countless interviews and getting rejected because "mommy and daddy" got their kid a job. I work for a family business, and I will admit, job security is nice, But is this an assumption that she didn't struggle with the rolling of the dice? For instance, I've applied to hundreds, probably thousands of jobs in the past decade, Unless I start my own business, or go back to college, this position pays more of a wage! I've worked 2 or 3 jobs at once, I've busted ass doing side-jobs to cover rent, I've sold my **** on craigslist in hopes to be able to avoid being homeless when money was spent, I've made bad choices, and I'm eternally grateful I'm not homeless right now, But to think someone working at their families business is a golden ticket...that's just wow.
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted July 25, 2015 Author Posted July 25, 2015 "Clarence_Boddicker! Dead or a live, you're coming with me!" - Robocop. LOL Anyhow, interesting viewpoints here, with the exception of Boddicker, the responses so far don't seem too comparable to those still living at home. One woman I met, in hear early 40's through a dating site, has an 18 year old son. Works for her parents and even has dated a guy at the work place. In these small, fishbowl communities people tend to do the nepotism thing, too. Everyone hires not only their family members, but their high school buddies from 20 years ago. It's not uncommon in these smaller communities for people to date and even marry their co-workers. I have noticed (with the exception of the above mentioned woman) that a lot of them aren't into online dating so they aren't as "picky" if you get what I mean. They don't see the fax pauxs (spelled right?) of this kind of thing. These romantic couples live together, come to work together, have LUNCH together and go HOME together, (wash, rinse, repeat). How can stand to see each other THAT frequently without being stifled, I have know I idea...but the world is quite alien in these places, lol.) But, apparently these people don't mind such things and haven't resorted to writing them off as potential mates because they work for their families. I have a 50 year old male friend that runs a mom and pop, non-franchised hardware store for 40 years, he's the GM there, and his 80 something dad owns it. But at least he's a GM, but he probably wouldn't have been if he'd chosen to go to college and a different career path. He's single, not sure if that's a turn off to women that find that out *shrug* but I know some women that would think that a bit odd, however, the plus side is he knows how to fix things around the home. :-)
GreenBlueGreen Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 My husband still works for his parents and we have been together for 10 years. A first it was cool, he worked for his dad's business during the week. However on weekends he worked for his mom's business. If I wanted to hang out with him during the weekend, his mom would get really pissed that I was over and started to pick fights with my then boyfriend. Which my boyfriend took out on me coming over to hang with him and he told me that he wouldn't get paid unless I helped. I did very physical labour at this work place and I got paid zero, just praise that I was helping and maybe a hot meal oh and I could sleep over at the parents place which then boyfriend lived out with his parents. One time his mother wanted me to sleep in separate rooms. My age was early/mid 20s and his early/mid 30s. Yep not the greatest times in our relationship. But I stuck around and now we are married and he now only works for the family if they really need him. In actuality the parents at the time were working him like a work horse for pittance pay and they would buy him ciggies as a form of payment.
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