LivingDeadGrl Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 My ex and I are living together but I finally found a place and I move in August 15th. I guess it didn't really hit me until I put the deposit down that I was actually leaving and starting once again on my own. I think I am upset that I am losing my house, and my family dynamic more than I am upset about the break up. I know he is not the one and that he will never change. I know that I deserve someone who will treat me better, but he is not a bad guy. I just hope whoever he chooses next can put up with the things I couldn't... So if I know all this, then why am I crying today? Why does it hurt so much?
jen1447 Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 My ex and I are living together but I finally found a place and I move in August 15th. I guess it didn't really hit me until I put the deposit down that I was actually leaving and starting once again on my own. I think I am upset that I am losing my house, and my family dynamic more than I am upset about the break up. I know he is not the one and that he will never change. I know that I deserve someone who will treat me better, but he is not a bad guy. I just hope whoever he chooses next can put up with the things I couldn't... So if I know all this, then why am I crying today? Why does it hurt so much? Separation anxiety hon. It passes. 1
carhill Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 IME, relationship and marriage endings can be like death. Sure, the person doesn't die but the relationship does and, for any partner who wishes it had kept on living, it's similar in emotional impact to losing a loved one that one wished had kept on living. There usually is the five stages of grief, then one accepts the real and moves on. I'm a little slower than most so it took me a couple years after my exW and I split up to process everything, though most of the process was complete when the ink was dry on the legal stuff. It means you're human. And alive. Pretty cool place to be, even if painful right now. It'll get better. 2
mightycpa Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Because knowing it and wanting it are two different things? You'd rather that he is the one because if he had been, you'd have been perfectly happy, which is what you thought you'd be when you got into this. This sounds like a classic case of completely understanding reality and wishing things were different. All of us resign ourselves to reality, and the luckiest among us embrace it. 1
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted July 23, 2015 Author Posted July 23, 2015 Because knowing it and wanting it are two different things? You'd rather that he is the one because if he had been, you'd have been perfectly happy, which is what you thought you'd be when you got into this. This sounds like a classic case of completely understanding reality and wishing things were different. All of us resign ourselves to reality, and the luckiest among us embrace it. You totally nailed it I think. I do wish things were different. I do wish he were the one. I do wish he would have been a better partner for me, I wish he would have fought for me. I wish he wasn't who he is, but I can't change him and he never wanted to. I wish a lot of things...but it's not how it turned out and I guess I still need to accept some of that. I know he is upset as well, it helps a little knowing that I'm not the only one in pain. I don't think it will really hit him though until he comes home to an empty house. No more little girl (my daughter), no more dog, no more me.
Gus Grimly Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 No more little girl (my daughter), no more dog, no more me. It's going to hit him very hard. I'm sorry you are in such pain. I hope you and your daughter will be okay. Please keep us updated on your progress.
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted July 24, 2015 Author Posted July 24, 2015 It's going to hit him very hard. I'm sorry you are in such pain. I hope you and your daughter will be okay. Please keep us updated on your progress. Thank you Gus, I will do that
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