Emixx Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 (edited) Hello this is my first time in this webpage and i like it very much because of the support and many thanks for whoever reads this, i really appreciate it. So my first relationship ever was with this guy who was very loving and tolerated me i broke up with him 6 times during our first relationship and when i decided to change he said he was to hurt and left. So 4 months later he comes back and we got back together almost immediately. However 6 months later he/"we" broke up because i was too impulsive and when we discussed i ended up hurting him again. However as time went by everytime i hurt him less and while this happened he didnt open up to me as before, and in the end he kept telling me that i couldnt change and that he was afraid that maybe we were just making this longer than it should be but i was so focused and i fought so bad to make it work without realizing that he had already given up (i think) my friend says he didnt try as hard as i did to change and improve our relationship. So when i hurt him for the first time in a month he was just so hurt it was like the last drop and i couldnt take it anymore. He said we should break up for me, it was so sudden i got desperate and sort of begged then i pulled myself together and gave our things back etc. So I dont know whether he did the right thing because he was too hurt or whether he gave up because he came back to me knowing that i was like that and that those types of changes happen overtime. I'm just all over the place and don't know what to do. I just wonder why ? I also suffered and want to fight for it, but he doesnt even if we were both hurt. So I want to get back with him, my therapist told me that he was not a coward because our relationship was toxic so he ended that relationship. But i was changing isnt that what relationships are about? Staying with your loved one while both changing and sticking together even if things are tough because things will be better and will be worth it? Or is 6 months enough time to try and even if i changed, it just wasnt enough? I am so confused please help me uwu I dont know whether i should move on and let go or ask him to be friends and sort of just spend time together and see what happens Edited July 23, 2015 by Emixx
mightycpa Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Hello this is my first time in this webpage and i like it very much because of the support and many thanks for whoever reads this, i really appreciate it. So my first relationship ever was with this guy who was very loving and tolerated me i broke up with him 6 times during our first relationship and when i decided to change he said he was to hurt and left. So 4 months later he comes back and we got back together almost immediately. However 6 months later he/"we" broke up because i was too impulsive and when we discussed i ended up hurting him again. However as time went by everytime i hurt him less and while this happened he didnt open up to me as before, and in the end he kept telling me that i couldnt change and that he was afraid that maybe we were just making this longer than it should be but i was so focused and i fought so bad to make it work without realizing that he had already given up (i think) my friend says he didnt try as hard as i did to change and improve our relationship. So when i hurt him for the first time in a month he was just so hurt it was like the last drop and i couldnt take it anymore. He said we should break up for me, it was so sudden i got desperate and sort of begged then i pulled myself together and gave our things back etc. So I dont know whether he did the right thing because he was too hurt or whether he gave up because he came back to me knowing that i was like that and that those types of changes happen overtime. I'm just all over the place and don't know what to do. I just wonder why ? I also suffered and want to fight for it, but he doesnt even if we were both hurt. So I want to get back with him, my therapist told me that he was not a coward because our relationship was toxic so he ended that relationship. But i was changing isnt that what relationships are about? Staying with your loved one while both changing and sticking together even if things are tough because things will be better and will be worth it? Or is 6 months enough time to try and even if i changed, it just wasnt enough? I am so confused please help me uwu I dont know whether i should move on and let go or ask him to be friends and sort of just spend time together and see what happens Whew! A good rule of thumb is that when somebody says that they don't want to be with you, take them at their word. Don't complain, don't second guess them, don't be suspicious of their motives. None of that matters. Just do as they ask, and a day will come when somebody does want to be with you, and hopefully, you'll want him to be with you too. If you don't, you'll hope that he follows the advice I just gave you.
Author Emixx Posted July 24, 2015 Author Posted July 24, 2015 Thank you for your advice I'm just feeling so guilty and realizing he wasnt perfect in the end he always told me tht i couldnt change and all of his friends told him so. After the break up i went to the therapist so i got less impulsive. And i just cant help but feel like i only want him and him and no one else, and i am just feeling guilty because i hurt him so much and as much as i want to get back to him... You are right and thankyou he deserves better and i should not bother him at all i will let go slowly because ive been thinking non stop about getting back but he probably wouldnt want to... So yes... Let go thanks this was like a slap, a good slap haha
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