Do you think he will contact me? I didn't realize he felt like this.

[WhatIsLove777]

On Monday after being broken up for three months I finally moved out of my exes apartment. I broke up with him initially because of his behavior and distancing himself and he begged for me back but at first I went complete no contact because I was to hurt to speak to him.

 

He was my first love and we were together for two years and were long distance for about eight months before I moved to another state to be with him. Because of all the memories and it being my first love I started to miss him after about a month and we began hanging out when we were both home.

 

We would speak about our relationship sometimes and both mentioned that we love eachother and reminisce but would get into some pretty bad arguments when it got down to us really trying to overcome our issues and we placed blame on one another. I suggested I move out because he could afford the apartment on his own and makes rent money in a week to which he denied.

 

One day we spoke about everything the good, bad and the ugly and we both had finally opened our minds and really listened and understood one another. The next day he said how much he loves me and cares about me and started to cuddle me and said it felt like old times. I had to leave for work and he told me he doesn't want to lead me on so basically saying nothing is final which i wouldn't expect but it scared me off because it seemed like he was having his cake and eating it too.

 

The next night I didnt come home and instead stayed at a friends house. He texted me the next afternoon and said if I wanted to move out he would cover rent. I think it bothered him that I hadnt came home and he didn't know where I was cause he mentioned 'you just come and go as you please' even though I've done that a lot since the breakup and I think he expected me to come home and spend time with him since we had cuddled but after he said that us cuddling didn't mean we were together Im not going to begin to report in like a girlfriend would.

 

I talked to him one final time before I decided to move out because I felt like we never reached our full potential and with better communication things could be fixed so I wanted to make sure that was what he truly wanted and he said we shouldn't force this and maybe we can get together in the future and that he never pictures himself marrying anyone but me but that he thinks when we are on our own and taking care of our own responsibilities it will show where our heart truly lies.

 

I moved out three days ago and I went to say our goodbyes before he left for work and I was staying positive and smiled and said well this is it He got emotional and said he's so grateful for the things I taugt him that nobody else could've and he doesn't feel like it's really the end for us. His eyes were welling up with tears and if shocked me because usually me and him were the opposite way.

 

He said I was the best girlfriend he ever had and hes not 'doing this' to test the waters but so much has happened and he never believed in the quote 'if you love it let it go..' until now. I didn't say much to a lot of this because I had expressed my self pretty consistently since the breakup but he just kept going saying how he doesnt 'think it will be long' until we reunite and that he wants us to keep contact. He said he's not looking forward to me leaving and isn't going to be partying or something and having people all around but will continue to work and save money. He told me several times if I ever need ANYTHING to let him know and he will do what he can and asked if im sure I'll be okay on my own (I am five years younger than him and he has no clue where I am moving to or with who) and he told m he doesn't expect me to wait for him to figure things out.

 

He pulled me in for a very deep and affectionate hug and kissed me on forehead before telling me to text him when I get where I am going to which I didn't agree because honestly I had planned on going no contact right after move out and he left for work.

 

Obviously this man loves me very much and still thinks about being with me. I am confused as to why he would let me leave now instead of trying to work through our issues. I agree that we kept going in circles but he told me not to wait for him and for all he knows I moved back to my home state and he let that happen which could be risking any chance at a future if I decided to move on.

 

I did not contact him after he left and did not text him like he asked when I arrived because I was very confused as to everything he had told me and I am not interested in being friendly if we are not working towards reconciliation and he still seems confused as to what he wants as am I because before he told me all of those things I was only focused on moving on because I didn't realize he felt that deeply which makes me feel much differently.

 

I do hope in the future that we can communicate again and work for something better than we had in the past and I love him. I don't feel like I should contact him first because he seems more confused than me because at the end HE was the one who made the final decision to not try and fix this now.

 

I think I will hear from him soon but I am not sure as he is very busy with work. Do you think he is waiting for me to text him first because he said 'if you love it let it go..' etc. and told me to text when I moved? Do you think he will contact me if I don't initiate? His birthday is in two weeks and I am not sure if I should text him if we haven't communicated before then because I really want him to prove his love for me because we had been off and on in the past and I was ALWAYS the one to come back and want to get back together.

Edited July 23, 2015 by WhatIsLove777

[La.Primavera]

You must be feeling really confused right now, it's understandable given your situation but don't forget the reason you dumped this guy. He was trying to meetup with other girls behind your back, even if he didn't cheat it still shows intent. If you analyze his motives from that point of view his behaviour after the breakup makes more sense.

 

He might care about you a lot but it sounds like he also wants to be with other woman. Right now he is single and free to see anyone he likes but at the same time he is keeping his options open with you in case he changes his mind.

 

Be careful not to be fooled by sweet talk. Actions will always speak louder than words. He may say you are the only one he can see himself marrying but what good is that if he isn't willing to save your relationship while he has the chance? He either doesn't value it that much or he just expects you will take him back once he has finished playing the field. Only you can decide if that is good enough for you.

[WhatIsLove777]

You must be feeling really confused right now, it's understandable given your situation but don't forget the reason you dumped this guy. He was trying to meetup with other girls behind your back, even if he didn't cheat it still shows intent. If you analyze his motives from that point of view his behaviour after the breakup makes more sense.

 

He might care about you a lot but it sounds like he also wants to be with other woman. Right now he is single and free to see anyone he likes but at the same time he is keeping his options open with you in case he changes his mind.

 

Be careful not to be fooled by sweet talk. Actions will always speak louder than words. He may say you are the only one he can see himself marrying but what good is that if he isn't willing to save your relationship while he has the chance? He either doesn't value it that much or he just expects you will take him back once he has finished playing the field. Only you can decide if that is good enough for you.

Thank you so much for your post it really put a lot into perspective. When I replay the reasons for the initial breakup I begin to wonder if I could ever trust him again and I think it is best for me to focus on moving on completely.

[La.Primavera]

I know how hard getting over your first love. You are bound to have regrets at first but you did the right thing. You deserve a guy who appreciates how special you are and doesn't take your love for granted.

[lana-banana]

Ugh. He is essentially thanking you for being his training wheels.

[dragonfire13]

Ugh. He is essentially thanking you for being his training wheels.

 

I know, that would p*ss me off too...like, so I made you a better boyfriend but now someone else will potentially reap the benefits after all the hard work Ive put in?

 

Having said that, it's given the OP some more relationship experience too which is always invaluable.

 

WhatIsLove777: Will he come back? I think it's likely you will hear from him again as he does genuinely seem to care about you, but as someone who has been in an on/off relationship, I think you are better off moving on or seeing what else is out there.

 

His birthday: DON'T text him. It's pointless if you guys are broken up, which technically you are.

 

Who knows, perhaps you can revisit this situation in the future, but for now it seems you both made the decision to part ways and its better for you in the long run to act accordingly. It will also show him that you are able to live your life without him, which will make him seriously revaluate if he wants to let you go or not.