Bobbi7 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 So...had a good first "meeting" with this guy from OLD like 2 weeks ago, he came back from his trip after the weekend, he did contact me about going to see a movie this weekend and we set something up on Friday, and he now just texted me and said that he "came down" with something the other day and has been trying to sleep alot. He told me that he will let me know tomorrow night, if not, he will have to reschedule and that he will keep me posted. Um...ok, what do you guys think? Is he flaking out on our 2nd meeting???
mrldii Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 He could be flaking out, OP, and just doesn't want to come out and say that he is no longer interested in seeing you a second time. He could be more interested in seeing someone else Friday night, but she hasn't committed to whether she's available yet, so he's leaving his options open. He could be legitimately ill and is afraid he won't feel better (enough) on Friday to stick to the original plans. Only time - and more face-to-face exposure to who/how he really is as a person - will tell. Best of luck to you...
54JA Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I am all for giving people the benefit of the doubt once. How old are you and your guy? I'm not sure about the younger guys, but if he's older than mid-30s, I would expect a phone call, rather than a text, for a cancellation. I think it's more considerate and shows sincerity if it done through a phone call. Just my opinion.
katiegrl Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 (edited) He could be flaking out, OP, and just doesn't want to come out and say that he is no longer interested in seeing you a second time. He could be more interested in seeing someone else Friday night, but she hasn't committed to whether she's available yet, so he's leaving his options open. He could be legitimately ill and is afraid he won't feel better (enough) on Friday to stick to the original plans. Only time - and more face-to-face exposure to who/how he really is as a person - will tell. Best of luck to you... I vote for what's in bolded. I mean it's only Wednesday, how does he know how he's gonna feel two days from now? He's covering his ass in case the other woman comes through and he DOES have to cancel...he is also probably feeling anxious about juggling the both of you...hence his text forewarning you. Warning you in advance alleviates his anxiety about juggling both of you and KNOWING he prefers the other woman over you. JMO but I just think if he were legitimately sick, he would have just told you he wasn't feeling well, but hopefully he WILL feel better by Friday so you guys can go out...and maybe even added he is looking forward to it! NOT tell you he "might" have to cancel... who does that? It's two days away for godsakes. Edited July 22, 2015 by katiegrl
Jejangles Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Time will tell on this one! I have to admit I sometimes send my friends /dates / whoever heads up texts that I'm not well and may need to reschedule. I figure that's nicer than popping up on a Friday or Saturday and saying I'm sick and then cancelling. If you have a cold or something on a Wednesday (very possible, I always catch colds when I travel) the likelihood of you being completely well enough for a date on Friday is slim. It's early days, I would give the benefit of the doubt on this for now. If he stays in touch and firmly reschedules with him, there's no reason to think he's flaking or fading away. If he doesn't reschedule, drops contact, whatever then yes, he's flaking / fading and you should move on. 2
katiegrl Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Time will tell on this one! I have to admit I sometimes send my friends /dates / whoever heads up texts that I'm not well and may need to reschedule. I figure that's nicer than popping up on a Friday or Saturday and saying I'm sick and then cancelling. If you have a cold or something on a Wednesday (very possible, I always catch colds when I travel) the likelihood of you being completely well enough for a date on Friday is slim. It's early days, I would give the benefit of the doubt on this for now. If he stays in touch and firmly reschedules with him, there's no reason to think he's flaking or fading away. If he doesn't reschedule, drops contact, whatever then yes, he's flaking / fading and you should move on. Good points. Sheesh... I am so cynical sometimes, aren't I? LOL Always thinking the worst (well, not always but lots of times). I think I have been reading this forum too much... I have a great boyfriend and have never been treated the way many women on this forum describe how they get treated by the men in their lives.. So not sure when or why I have become so cynical... OP, yeah give him the benefit of the doubt on this one....and just see how it plays out.. Keep up posted! 1
yellowhibiscus Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I would give him the benefit of the doubt. We've all been sick before and maybe he wants to appear his best when he sees you next. If he keeps canceling or starts ignoring you, then I would be concerned. 1
Author Bobbi7 Posted July 23, 2015 Author Posted July 23, 2015 Ok, well we rescheduled it for NEXT Friday. He said, "let's try for next Friday." And to give him time to get to 100%...he then said he was going to take alot of Nyquil. I find it kind of odd that he would suggest next weekend. Nothing in the weekday..unless he wants me to stay at his place overnight or something...I have no idea how a person can be that sick after traveling or during the summer.
mystikmind2005 Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Funny i should see this post today,,,, i have just come down with a really sore throat and i have a second date tonight, plus a first date on Saturday! I was thinking of cancelling but it looks exactly like what it looks like in this thread, hehehehe, and even if i do go, then there is the part where i have to tell the lady i cannot kiss her because I'm sick, but i do not look or sound sick at all, just a very sore throat, so i know it won't look good.
Amalyn Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 I think he should get the benefit of the doubt once. If it becomes a repeat thing, then you know to move on.
Amalyn Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Ok, well we rescheduled it for NEXT Friday. He said, "let's try for next Friday." And to give him time to get to 100%...he then said he was going to take alot of Nyquil. I find it kind of odd that he would suggest next weekend. Nothing in the weekday..unless he wants me to stay at his place overnight or something...I have no idea how a person can be that sick after traveling or during the summer. Traveling? If he was on a plane, he could have caught something on there. I have a friend who every time she flies, she gets a cold/flu. Whether it's July or December.
nouedis Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Even so, he should still be able to call her so he can see how it is he's doing or at least get coffee to see his condition or get a selfie.
joseb Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Ok, well we rescheduled it for NEXT Friday. He said, "let's try for next Friday." And to give him time to get to 100%...he then said he was going to take alot of Nyquil. I find it kind of odd that he would suggest next weekend. Nothing in the weekday..unless he wants me to stay at his place overnight or something...I have no idea how a person can be that sick after traveling or during the summer. Did he fly? Probably one of the best places to pick up an infection Even if he didn't it's very common for people to pick things up on holidays especially if they were working really hard before. Once the body gets the message to relax it often gives on to minor infections. Maybe I'm not cynical enough but I would take someone on their word on this. I must remember never to get sick and cancel a date now, giving what I know about the way everyone interprets this! 1
nouedis Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 It also depends where he went and what or who he interacted with.
xcupid Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Give the guy the benefit of the doubt and a chance. Too much overthinking and negativity about this in my opinion. Are you looking for reasons why this won't work? Yes, he could have picked up some bug on the plane or wherever he went. And yes, it can take a few days at the very least to get better, especially if it's a summer cold. Personally I'd prefer my date to be well rather than sick and coughing all over me. 1
joseb Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 I must remember never to get sick and cancel a date now, giving what I know about the way everyone interprets this! Actually I remember now I was chatting to a girl on tinder and we were getting to the point of arranging a Meetup. I got terrible gastro and was out of it for 3 days and took another week to recover. She probably thought I was weighing up other options which may explain why she faded out.
Author Bobbi7 Posted July 23, 2015 Author Posted July 23, 2015 Yeah, he was in a plane and went to a gaming convention where he was stuck in a room with a bunch of people for 3 days...but anyone think its fishy that he would immediately say NEXT Friday instead of the weekday? We did had our first meeting during the weekday and all...
kendahke Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 It also depends where he went and what or who he interacted with. Yes, because not everyone washes their hands or keeps hand sanitizer around. He could have picked it up on a stair rail, a subway strap, a light switch. Germs can live a long time on surfaces til they're picked up. That's one way they get spread.
kendahke Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Yeah, he was in a plane and went to a gaming convention where he was stuck in a room with a bunch of people for 3 days...but anyone think its fishy that he would immediately say NEXT Friday instead of the weekday? We did had our first meeting during the weekday and all... No. Do you want to get sick? He has a life--and had one before he met you. Seriously. Chill!!! Waiting til next Friday isn't going to kill you. He may not feel like being out late and then having to get up early for work the next day. 1
mrldii Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 No. Do you want to get sick? He has a life--and had one before he met you. Seriously. Chill!!! Waiting til next Friday isn't going to kill you. He may not feel like being out late and then having to get up early for work the next day. ^^This. I thought being the Friday and/or Saturday Date Night Chick was considered a place of honor...as there's no need to cut the evening short because we have to get up early for work in the morning? OP...as someone else also suggested earlier, you are waaaay over-thinking this. Either your spidey-senses have picked up on something (which you should be heeding) or you're well on your way (with your over-thinking of it all) to creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. All this angst over an initial good date with Some Guy? What on earth is in store for him once he's Your Dear Hubby and he's late for dinner the first time?!?
Redhead14 Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 So...had a good first "meeting" with this guy from OLD like 2 weeks ago, he came back from his trip after the weekend, he did contact me about going to see a movie this weekend and we set something up on Friday, and he now just texted me and said that he "came down" with something the other day and has been trying to sleep alot. He told me that he will let me know tomorrow night, if not, he will have to reschedule and that he will keep me posted. Um...ok, what do you guys think? Is he flaking out on our 2nd meeting??? We can't tell you that. Let him continue to run with this. If he reschedules, fine, if not let it go. Don't reach out to him to follow up or at all. Let him come to you. The ball is in his court. If he doesn't reach out at all, you'll know. If he disappears for a while and then comes back to you, you'll have to evaluate for yourself whether he is worth it or not. I'd say if some time goes by without hearing from him, you won't be feeling it for him much anyway when he does call again. 1
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