unevensteven Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Hey loveshack! I'm back with another post, kind of an update on how I'm doing these days. Anyway it's been a month since I have established STRICT NC with my Ex, she is my best friends sister and I have been doing my best to avoid her, I was doing great until her mom called me about 2 weeks ago telling me me and her daughter might have a future together, which has set me back. I am now doing alot better, still avoiding her, I'm very happy that her whole family went on vacation for a whole week so I don't have to worry about avoiding her at all. When we first broke up I felt sadness, my heart hurt like crazy, everytime I thought of her or anyone mentions her name I just can't think straight. After that it was me thinking to myself "maybe if I did this" or "what if" to find ways to think I can get back to her. After realizing that I have been telling myself that it won't happen, that I need to move on with my life and not wait for a girl that threw away 8 months of a relationship in less than a week, she isn't worth my time or energy anymore. Before I made NC, I would check her twitter account, I unfollowed her but was still able to see her posts, she had me blocked on twitter. A couple of days later I decided to establish NC, so I went to her profile to block her and saw that she unblocked me, was kind of weird to me because she would have to go on my account and unblock me again, idk what it meant for a day or two but then I said screw it I shouldn't be thinking why, and just went ahead and blocked her myself. Now I am the best I ever can be, feeling alot better...but I noticed something, I'm usually a nice guy that doesn't hate or feel much rage towards anyone, but I hate that girl so much! Everytime I hear her name or think of her I just feel anger, I hate her for what she's done to me and how she threw away everything like nothing, I don't ever want to be friends with her ever again, and if anything ill was to happen to her I wouldn't give a damn. God, I hate her so much. 1
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Part of the normal healing process. Just do whatever you can to forget about her.
Gus Grimly Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 There are many stages people go through after breakups. You're at the anger stage. I'm not there yet but I know I'll be hatin' on my Ex one of these days. You're okay, it's part of the healing process.
Xiomn Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I felt like that a few days ago.. I must admit it felt damn good than the usual depression/anxiety can't eat/sleep phase. I'd rather be angry than depressed lol. 2
BriNyc82 Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 I'll take anger over crying my puffy red eyes out any day! At least I can channel my anger into working out. I get moments of being sad but comes and goes. 99% anger. 1
foolinlove79 Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Completely normal. I was there too. It does pass.
Author unevensteven Posted July 23, 2015 Author Posted July 23, 2015 Yeah that's what I was thinking too, other posts said the same thing. I am so glad this website exists, it helps me so much to be able to post this stuff and be able to get some good response, thanks all! 1
GoBlue Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 There is a time and a place for anger, but not over the long-haul. Hopefully it will be a short phase because most relationships that end probably do so for a good reason. Anger is so strong because the love you felt for her was so strong. I hope you really don't wish her ill. One day at a time is the only way you get through these things. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
contel3 Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Welcome to the angry phase I also reached the angry stage about a month after the break up. Still stuck there about 2 1/2 months later. Like someone said, try to not get stuck there for too long. At first it feels good to be rid of all that sadness, but anger has its way of eating you up inside. Hating someone can make you feel really bad about yourself. Best thing is to not focus on her. When you feel that burning hate creeping up, try to think about something pleasant. Occupy yourself. It's ok to hate her for a bit. But don't dwell on it. 1
Thegreatfrazzle Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Hate is definitely better than being depressed I can tell you that, but I found that hating my ex, which I did for about a week and a half, was just another way to be emotionally connected to her. What you want, and what you will get to eventually, (I am told), is a state of indifference, where you feel nothing towards your ex whatsoever.
candie13 Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 don't overthink this. Anger is normal, just don't hang onto it for too long. Let it out, kick a boxing sack, go running and express that anger, let it out. Keeping it all inside might poison you, over time, and prevent you from moving on. Embrace anger. Accept it. Let it flow outside your body and your mind too. The worst thing you can do is bottling it down deep inside.
Author unevensteven Posted July 24, 2015 Author Posted July 24, 2015 Thanks all for your input, I think it's a natural phase too, it only has been a little over a month since we broke up, and I've only been angry at her for a couple of days. I am very self concious, I know how I feel, like I said I'm not usually angry or hold grudges, I'll probably let it go sometime soon. I'll give myself sometime to let it all out, and move on to the next phase, I don't expect to just move on so quickly, I don't want to rush myself. I'll be going to gym more so I can let it all out, it is a great distraction for me, and I feel great the about myself too.
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