mtber75 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I been seeing this woman for over a month now. We have so much in common! I really like to pursue this long term. But she reveal that she been battling depression due to her medical condition and stressful personal life! At our last outing we went hiking and she wanted to hang out again last week. But she went MIA? I texted her a few times with no responses. She done this before where she said let's hang out again and all of a sudden goes cold? I want to be supportive! But its getting frustrating to not hear from her consistently. I already contemplated just moving on. But I want to help her out also!
Gaeta Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Depression is not an excuse for being a flake with no consideration. Is she medicated? If not let it go, she is irresponsible for not taking her condition seriously. If she is medicated than all this disappearing is really her personality, not her illness. 1
Brokenmech Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I been seeing this woman for over a month now. We have so much in common! I really like to pursue this long term. But she reveal that she been battling depression due to her medical condition and stressful personal life! At our last outing we went hiking and she wanted to hang out again last week. But she went MIA? I texted her a few times with no responses. She done this before where she said let's hang out again and all of a sudden goes cold? I want to be supportive! But its getting frustrating to not hear from her consistently. I already contemplated just moving on. But I want to help her out also! I suffer from depression and one of the most horrible aspects of it is that sometimes you just don't want to speak to anybody, even loved ones. When you're in a relationship where communication is always an important part this is very hard to deal with. I have had one or two past relationships ruined because of my depression. You probably think you did something wrong and that's why she isn't talking with you but probably it's the depression. What you do really depends how much you like or love this girl. You can chose to move on or you can chose to be patient, help her as much as you can and perhaps convince her to get medication to help. This can be difficult as she is probably lacking motivation to go out and get help but with enough support she can and will. The real kicker is that without the depression she appears to be a wonderful person that you already said you want to pursue long term. Personally it's only been a month maybe stick it out a little longer see if you can help her if she is worth a lot to you.
Author mtber75 Posted July 22, 2015 Author Posted July 22, 2015 I suffer from depression and one of the most horrible aspects of it is that sometimes you just don't want to speak to anybody, even loved ones. When you're in a relationship where communication is always an important part this is very hard to deal with. I have had one or two past relationships ruined because of my depression. You probably think you did something wrong and that's why she isn't talking with you but probably it's the depression. What you do really depends how much you like or love this girl. You can chose to move on or you can chose to be patient, help her as much as you can and perhaps convince her to get medication to help. This can be difficult as she is probably lacking motivation to go out and get help but with enough support she can and will. The real kicker is that without the depression she appears to be a wonderful person that you already said you want to pursue long term. Personally it's only been a month maybe stick it out a little longer see if you can help her if she is worth a lot to you. She is a great person to be with. She is very communicative and positive when we are together. I hope that she don't think she revealed too much of herself (telling me about her depression and other personal things) and decided to pull away? I do know what she is going through because I have a family history of depressions and other mental illnesses. Anyways I will continue to offer support. We'll see where this goes!
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 (edited) I suffer from depression and one of the most horrible aspects of it is that sometimes you just don't want to speak to anybody, even loved ones. When you're in a relationship where communication is always an important part this is very hard to deal with. I have had one or two past relationships ruined because of my depression. You probably think you did something wrong and that's why she isn't talking with you but probably it's the depression. What you do really depends how much you like or love this girl. You can chose to move on or you can chose to be patient, help her as much as you can and perhaps convince her to get medication to help. This can be difficult as she is probably lacking motivation to go out and get help but with enough support she can and will. The real kicker is that without the depression she appears to be a wonderful person that you already said you want to pursue long term. Personally it's only been a month maybe stick it out a little longer see if you can help her if she is worth a lot to you. Agreed. I went through my own depression for many years whilst entrenched in an unhappy marriage and my current partner battled it very early in our relationship as well. It's definitely challenging to love someone with any kind of vice like depression but it's not completely impossible. And it doesn't mean that things can't be wonderful or even improve with time. The one thing you need to realize is that it's one thing to know you're depressed and acknowledge your depression to others and it's another thing to actually DO something about it. These days there are countless ways to help people deal with their depression but ALL of them start with a desire to want to get better. Locking oneself up in a room for days or weeks at a time and refusing any kind of professional intervention is NOT going to help either of you. My advice? If she's actively working on herself and her depression, GREAT! Give it time and see how things unfold. It's a lot of hard work on her part and even more patience and understanding on your part but it can work if you want it to. If on the other hand she's NOT doing anything at the moment then I would caution you to tread very carefully. The worst mistake you can make is thinking YOU can somehow change her or make her happy all on your own. Although it may appear that way in the beginning it won't last if she's not actually working through her issues. Trust me, I've lived it on both ends. Good luck. Edited July 22, 2015 by Michelle ma Belle 1
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