m4k9s Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I frequently hear from others that my husband compliments me and speaks very highly of me, which I have always taken as a very nice thing. Directly he rarely compliments or notices anything and often seems to point out what isn't done around the house but rarely what is done. He is very complimentary & kind to co-workers or other associates and would comment/notice hair, clothes, etc but rarely with me. In the past I always have taken his outward compliments of me as very kind & nice but recently, mostly due to the disparity, I started wondering if that outward behavior is really to draw more attention to him and how wonderful, kind, caring, etc he is... We have been married for 15 years & together for 20.
d0nnivain Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 All I can offer is that my parents never complimented me but they practically told everybody else they ever met that I was a genius, who could walk on water. I don't think it's manipulative per se. Some people are just weird like that If everything else in your marriage is OK, mention the lack of compliments once but don't divorce over it.
SycamoreCircle Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I think you should have a pretty good idea of who your husband is and where his behavior falls. Here's a question: my wife is going on interpersonal relationship forums online and picking apart my behavior wishing to determine if I'm manipulative, what should I make of this?
casey.lives Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 do you just expect things??? some people just expect things and act like nothing matters..
GemmaUK Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 It could be a form of manipulation to make him appear to others that he is generally complimentary towards you. To be honest though I would be looking for other signs alongside it to figure out if he is a manipulator. I don't think you can base it on just one thing.
S_A Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 He compliments you when you are not around because he loves you. He does not compliment you because he may take your love for granted, as if it is unconditional. If you're going to talk to him about this, lead in bu saying how flattering it is that he compliments you to others and how great that is. Then mention how you'd be even more flattered to hear compliments directly from him. You're smart and I'm sure you can figure out how to word it much better! I know You deserve to be complimented because he would not compliment you to others while you're not around. Good luck!
Imported Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I don't know about your husband, but I am always wiry of people giving me compliments, making remarks on something about me and so on. It makes me think they read a book on how to "win friends and manipul....errr...influence people". I am sure some people are sincere, but many are just trying to get something out of you. Like shopping at Costco and now even Target, the people working there giving me compliments on what I bought. Like, can they be anymore obvious!?
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