nadine5 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I'm just curious. Please be honest. How long would you wait around for your boyfriend to tell you he loves you? Meet his family? Discuss the future with you? ... especially when you have brought these things up and the subjects were brushed aside?
Gaeta Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I'm just curious. Please be honest. How long would you wait around for your boyfriend to tell you he loves you? Meet his family? Discuss the future with you? ... especially when you have brought these things up and the subjects were brushed aside? I think 6 months is plenty to come up with an ILY I would like to meet the family between 3 to 6 months Future plans like moving in? That would have to wait till we dated 1 full year. 2
Author nadine5 Posted July 22, 2015 Author Posted July 22, 2015 I think 6 months is plenty to come up with an ILY I would like to meet the family between 3 to 6 months Future plans like moving in? That would have to wait till we dated 1 full year. Thanks Gaeta, I agree with this, but still interested in others' opinions as well. Also, if these things haven't happened in the time frame that you expect them to, would you end the relationship?
PrettyEmily77 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I'm just curious. Please be honest. How long would you wait around for your boyfriend to tell you he loves you? Meet his family? Discuss the future with you? ... especially when you have brought these things up and the subjects were brushed aside? We're coming up to 4 months together and haven't said ILY yet; it's def in the air, though . I've met his sons, his mother and siblings, he's met my parents and brother, we are going on hols together soon and we talk about the future enough that I feel safe he's taken us seriously, but not so much that it feels suffocating. We are both busy professionally but have made it a priority to be there for one another early on. OTOH, My dad said ILY to my mum after a week (mutual), they were married 5 months later and are still together after 41 years .
smackie9 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I'm just curious. Please be honest. How long would you wait around for your boyfriend to tell you he loves you? Meet his family? Discuss the future with you? ... especially when you have brought these things up and the subjects were brushed aside? If I had to bring them up, and were brushed aside, there would be an ending of a relationship....that's just me tho.
Gaeta Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Thanks Gaeta, I agree with this, but still interested in others' opinions as well. Also, if these things haven't happened in the time frame that you expect them to, would you end the relationship? Yes I have been there. I have dated a man who kept promising he was serious about our relationship but after 3 - 6 months there were still no ILY and still no meeting the family. He asked for time and I gave myself up to 1 year. On our 1st year anniversary dating I called him and said my adult daughter was going to be at my place that evening about he drops by and I can introduce him. He gave me an excuse - he was full of them. I said OK, it's over. He huffed and puffed to give him more time and I said no. I have never regretted breaking up with him. I know with a certainty I would still be waiting on him.
casey.lives Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 For me, it depends on each others lives and the stage in life your in..
Carey34 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I wouldn't be with someone for more than 6 months w/o an ILY. Meeting the parents can vary. If we live in the same town as them, more than a couple months is weird. Talking about the future is normal for 6+ months. I wouldn't take any steps, like marriage or moving in, until at least a year. Probably 2!
Empyrea Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Hmm, I don't think it's fair to expect a uniform timeline for all relationships. My LTR boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time when we'd been together for about a year.. and you could tell it was a big deal for him to even say it. People are different, not everyone takes it lightly - some take it very lightly, it's unfair to compare. Rather than paying attention to these so-called milestones, pay attention to everything else in the relationship. Are you getting the kind of affection and attention you desire? Is the relationship progressing in other ways and in the right direction? Etc. 2
katinlc Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Definitely not a "right time". I would say when it feels right. But don't push and rush him. I like Gaeta's timeline for a general guidance, but each circumstance is different. I also 100% agree that age / time of life make a huge difference. My timeline with my husband. Met his brother / sil - 3rd date; met his mom / grandmother probably 8 weeks in Official Couple - 6 weeks from first date ILY - 8 weeks from first date Engagement - Just shy of 4 months from first date Marriage - Just shy of 10 months from first date To look at this on paper seems crazy, but it was right for us. Two 34 year olds who had never been married. We knew what we wanted and even though it sounds fast, it sure didn't seem that way. If this was two 21 year olds, though I would say they are crazy. I think there is a fine line between pushing / rushing and letting someone drag their feet.
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