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Girl I'm dating is putting on weight, what do I do?


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Posted
That's exactly what I want to do with her

 

Based in your posts that's exactly what said she didn't want to do.

 

So you can either deal with it or find a girl that will want to do this with you.

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Posted
That's exactly what I want to do with her

 

Mcc44 -- Do you understand that FitnessFan's GF wanted to work out? Your GF does not. You wanting her to has no influence on what she wants. You can't make her looks about you. All you can do is accept her or break up with her.

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Posted

OP, would you care whether or not she works out if she didn't gain those 12 pounds? If you like the idea of working out with your gf, there are plenty of women out there who would gladly join you. Ones who don't have to be prodded, cajoled, or talked-in to going to the gym.

Posted
ff, yes determination.....plus let's face facts. Your GF is just VERY into you! :bunny::bunny: :) :)

 

Even though she's into me, it's pure determination based on her character. She's stubborn, goal oriented, and doesn't quit. She told me a story about high school soccer where puking during conditioning drills, only made her push harder. So the training was getting her in touch with that competitive spirit and inner athlete.

Posted
Even though she's into me, it's pure determination based on her character. She's stubborn, goal oriented, and doesn't quit. She told me a story about high school soccer where puking during conditioning drills, only made her push harder. So the training was getting her in touch with that competitive spirit and inner athlete.

 

Gosh I'm all for pushing yourself to the limit but that's a little intense...

Posted

Break up with her and go NC, op.

 

Fast forward a year - if you ever run into her, all the amount of weight she gained with you will have vanished. I promise!

Posted
That's exactly what I want to do with her

 

You still don't get it man. As d0nnivan said, I am not forcing her to do anything. There's a small part of her that's motivated to get in better shape because I'm a trainer. But it mainly has to do with her own goals and desire to be fit.

 

Gosh I'm all for pushing yourself to the limit but that's a little intense...

 

She's been working out on/off on her own for the last year or so. But I train like a college athlete and the intensity is WAY higher than what she's used to. That's why I told her to go at her own pace and take longer breaks.

 

However, she was determined to match me and that's why I wasn't surprised when she puked. But not a lot of people have the will to dust themselves off after that and keep going. I told her she was one bad ass b*tch which she loved..LOL

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Posted
You still don't get it man. As d0nnivan said, I am not forcing her to do anything. There's a small part of her that's motivated to get in better shape because I'm a trainer. But it mainly has to do with her own goals and desire to be fit.

 

 

 

She's been working out on/off on her own for the last year or so. But I train like a college athlete and the intensity is WAY higher than what she's used to. That's why I told her to go at her own pace and take longer breaks.

 

However, she was determined to match me and that's why I wasn't surprised when she puked. But not a lot of people have the will to dust themselves off after that and keep going. I told her she was one bad ass b*tch which she loved..LOL

 

I just find pushing yourself to the point of throwing up and loving it a too much - IMO. Besides, all the boys in my gym call me badass even though I'm not throwing up at every work out (could have something to do with the fact I can lift their body weight too)

 

I don't know deep down I'm probably worried pushing that hard will have negative effect on performance in the long run...

Posted
I just find pushing yourself to the point of throwing up and loving it a too much - IMO. Besides, all the boys in my gym call me badass even though I'm not throwing up at every work out (could have something to do with the fact I can lift their body weight too)

 

I don't know deep down I'm probably worried pushing that hard will have negative effect on performance in the long run...

 

Haha.. Well I'm definitely not saying that puking is the gold standard of being a bad ass. What was "bad ass" to me personally was her determination. A lot of people in that situation would quit and not finish. But she pushed on.

 

Also as I said, I told her to go at her own pace and take longer breaks. But it was her decision to try and keep up with me. Now me personally, I've been training like this for years and have never thrown up. So my own performance levels are great. However, I do think that she learned a lesson and will try to pace herself better in the future.

Posted (edited)
Even though she's into me, it's pure determination based on her character. She's stubborn, goal oriented, and doesn't quit. She told me a story about high school soccer where puking during conditioning drills, only made her push harder. So the training was getting her in touch with that competitive spirit and inner athlete.

 

You don't think how she feels about YOU has anything to do with her determination though?

 

I do!

 

I mean granted, she's competitive and it is part of her character for sure.

 

But I also think wanting to keep up with you, impress you (maybe even please you) may be part of it too.

Edited by katiegrl
Posted

She probably battles her weight, gets comfortable and is overall just lazy it sounds like. Quite honestly I would say something to her. Ask her if she is feeling well and you want to make sure she is ok as you have noticed she has gained weight.

 

If she is gaining this fast she probably will only get bigger unless she makes an attempt to stop eating crap.

Posted

Being an admitted "foodies" isn't a common statement - except in the BBW/size acceptance community. I suspect this is a person who is re-gaining previously lost weight, hence the rapid rate. Internally she identifies more with the BBW rather than the model community and would like release from the latter.

 

Her use of the terminology to me is what is telling here. She is testing the waters of acceptance - which obviously she doesn't have with the OP. He is a borderline if not full fledged fatophobe. She deserves someone who can enjoy a fuller figure and not hassle her - and IMHO needs to dump this guy because they aren't compatible.

Posted
Being an admitted "foodies" isn't a common statement - except in the BBW/size acceptance community. I suspect this is a person who is re-gaining previously lost weight, hence the rapid rate. Internally she identifies more with the BBW rather than the model community and would like release from the latter.

 

Are you kidding me!? "Foodie" is a fairly common hipster term that means you appreciate good foods. These are people who seek out quality, well-made food, like to try a variety of things, and generally enjoy the spirit and adventure of food. You could be a foodie and still look like a model, as it says nothing about how much you eat. It's basically today's term for a gourmet.

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