nadine5 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I am actually a rare good guy. Maybe if we'd been together for longer it could be different, I don't know. But she is 100% really happy and has been since we got together. I just came across this video would anyone advise me getting her to watch it? http://youtu.be/TMA2nq2xfCQ Dude, she obviously doesn't think she's overweight. She probably doesn't even know. You should just tell her that you've noticed she's gained a few pounds and hope for the best... maybe she is fluctuating because of hormones or something. You'll never know until you ask.
writergal Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I am actually a rare good guy. Maybe if we'd been together for longer it could be different, I don't know. But she is 100% really happy and has been since we got together. I just came across this video would anyone advise me getting her to watch it? http://youtu.be/TMA2nq2xfCQ So, you want to fat shame your girlfriend by showing her a Youtube video of a military fitness trainer fat shaming literally everyone? You're joking, right? 10
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I'm not a newbie to fitness, was ripped with an 8 pack before my last girl ruined my body for a bit. You REALLY need to stop saying this. Did she tie you to the bed and force feed you icing morning, noon and night? I don't think so 7
nadine5 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 You REALLY need to stop saying this. Did she tie you to the bed and force feed you icing morning, noon and night? I don't think so Seriously. Also, do you think it's something YOU'RE doing to HER emotionally that causes her to overeat, just as your last girlfriend did to you?? 5
Gaeta Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I just came across this video would anyone advise me getting her to watch it? http://youtu.be/TMA2nq2xfCQ You just lost all credibility I may have had. How old are you? 6
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Seriously. Also, do you think it's something YOU'RE doing to HER emotionally that causes her to overeat, just as your last girlfriend did to you?? My thoughts exactly. 1
Author MC44 Posted July 22, 2015 Author Posted July 22, 2015 You just lost all credibility I may have had. How old are you? LOOL I knew someone would say that. I was just being stupid for a minute & bringing some humour to this thread. I obviously wasn't serious. It's important to smile in life
clia Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 How much weight could she have possibly gained in one month? If her weight gain is really that extreme, perhaps you should be more concerned about her health than her looks. 3
Author MC44 Posted July 22, 2015 Author Posted July 22, 2015 My thoughts exactly. We are still really new, so all we do is laugh,sex& have fun together. You can't blame this on me. I mean if I am at fault I'd own it but we've never even had an argument
Author MC44 Posted July 22, 2015 Author Posted July 22, 2015 How much weight could she have possibly gained in one month? If her weight gain is really that extreme, perhaps you should be more concerned about her health than her looks. I'd say about 14-12 pounds
d0nnivain Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 mc44 If you are no longer attracted to her, break up with her. Understand though you mentioning anything -- one word about her weight / appearance in an effort to get her to change because you are unhappy about the way she looks, makes you a not so nice guy. Take her as she is or walk away but don't stay & try to change the way she looks because you don't like it. Saying to her, lose weight or I'm gone -- even implying it -- makes you . . . let's just a say a bad BF. 5
Gaeta Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I'd say about 14-12 pounds That's 3lbs per week on average. She's have to eat like 3000 calories a day to gain that fast. I still want to know how old you are both. And I want to know if she started the pill recently. 2
empresario Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Some people are not compatible in lifestyle, it's a fool's errand. I dated a really attractive girl once. The only problem: she was 175-ish lbs at like 5'5''. I am huge into fitness and I like a fit woman...not just because of attraction but also because I want a girl with whom I can share my passion. However, I told myself I could change her. At the time I had kind of an ego and thought I could change people. It did work. I got her into shape, changed her diet, etc. She lost weight down to 140 lbs and was gorgeous. The problem is that diet and exercise were MY passion, not hers. Eventually she got tired of me pushing and went back to her old habits. Shortly after we broke up for unrelated reasons. A month after we had broken up she was back up to her old weight. You can't change who someone fundamentally wants to be. Let her find someone that values the same things she does. I, myself will never make that mistake again because I learned it's not fair to either person. 5
lil hoodlum Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I love women who are curvy with some meat on their bones! 5
Arieswoman Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 MC44, Have a look at this (you can skip the section on aging, as that doesn't apply - unless you're with a cougar, of course ) and had a chat with your g/f. 9 medical reasons for putting on weight - Live Well - NHS Choices She needs to rule out a medical problem. 1
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 10 licks with your hand or chosen object on her butt for every pound she gains. Chubby girl's butts make a better slapping sound when spanked then skinny ones. The real dilemma is to gag or not. Loud cries of pain are nice, but so are the sounds of muffled whimpering. Use a big mirror so you can watch her crying. Seriously, accept her how she is or end it. You might want to ask her if she's stressed about something. Maybe suggest a medical checkup if the weight gain is coming from nowhere. 2
fitnessfan365 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I'm not a newbie to fitness, was ripped with an 8 pack before my last girl ruined my body for a bit. How exactly does somebody else ruin your body? 11
PrettyEmily77 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 (edited) I wrote a post that, in retrospect, was way too harsh so asked to have it removed - apologies if you read it, MC44 . Essentially unless you have serious, definite, genuine reasons to be concerned for her physical or mental well being, asking her to lose weight shouldn't be within your remit. What you could do as a caring BF is be supportive of her if she decided to do it herself, and try to make her feel better about herself, by highlighting the things you like about her, if she was feeling self-conscious. If she doesn't seem concerned about her weight gain, then there is no reason for you to be, and no reason to potentially risk giving her self-esteem issues in the long term. Edited July 22, 2015 by PrettyEmily77
Eighty_nine Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 (edited) mc44 Understand though you mentioning anything -- one word about her weight / appearance in an effort to get her to change because you are unhappy about the way she looks, makes you a not so nice guy. Take her as she is or walk away but don't stay & try to change the way she looks because you don't like it. Saying to her, lose weight or I'm gone -- even implying it -- makes you . . . let's just a say a bad BF. Agreed. MC, you are not in love with this girl, no way. You wouldn't be considering dumping her over 12 freakin pounds if you were. I recently lost about 12 pounds and feel great, but you know what? My bf says I look great now and I did before, and I can tell he means it. He didn't really even notice until recently, which was reassuring to me... just the realization that a few pounds does not matter. 10 or 15 pounds up or down isn't gonna cause him to question his attraction/feelings for me. The fact that you're wondering what to do and questioning things either means you're not in love with her or you're a shallow a*s. Sorry, but that's just the truth. If you were talking about 30+ pounds, it might be a different story, but as is, I have no sympathy for you. Stressing over this much weight with a gf who is otherwise a great match for you is just plain stupid. I have a feeling you care more about her weight because of what other people might think than anything, and that's really too bad. She sounds attractive and cool, let her go and find someone who deserves her company. Edited July 22, 2015 by lissvarna 4
Empyrea Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Gosh.. 12 pounds is like my summer beach bod versus my slightly cuddlier winter bod.. I barely even notice :/ If it were a more substantial amount or maybe she's short and that kind of a weight gain is really obvious on her, then I'd try to gently ASK (not tell her to lose weight or start working out) if something is up, because you've noticed she's put on a couple pounds. I mean, it will offend her, but so will breaking up with her, because she's fat - and she's not. But mostly just figure out for yourself what you're looking for in a girlfriend and if that's obtainable or even justified. No one keeps their 22-year old body forever.
DaisyBug Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Wow, her weight gain is only 1 month old and people are assuming her health is in jeopardy, she's lazy, etc. Come on. She may be having a rough month hormonally, which can cause weight gain and make you tire easily. If she's short, 4 pounds can look like 12. Women's weight fluctuates, period - some women more than others. Way too early for speculation. If she's still gaining weight every single month, continuing to get bigger and bigger, then maybe it would be a little more appropriate to be concerned. Oh, and about weighing your "offers" vs. the appearance of your GF to keep you faithful, do you have ANY idea how many opportunities women have? I bet she has to beat the men off with a stick when you're not around, so don't think you are doing her a favor. I'm sure there are plenty of men out there willing to take this mere 9 off your hands. 1
Gloria25 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 (edited) Good luck trying to find a different woman who cares about fitness and/or diet. Now a days your gf is the "norm" out there...so, dare you say anything to her, lots of women (including her) are probably gonna say: -You're "shaming" her. -It's something "you" did/didn't do why she is gaining weight. -Picking someone is about more than looks and/or weight and what matters is if you get along with her, if she loves you, has a great sense of humor and/or a pretty face. -If you love her, you should love he "as she is" - no matter if it changes. -It's your responsibility to find ways for her to lose the weight. -She has a "disease" (thyroid, depression). So, I don't know what to tell you to motivate her and/or let her know this is an issue for you. But, people have to motivate themselves to change themselves. If she already told you she is lazy and/or enjoys food as a source of comfort - I gather she is just happy how she is and has no intentions of changing. I don't know, when a person lets go of their appearance, to me they not only could care less about themselves, but also about their SO. We women put on make-up, perfumes, cutesy clothes to impress our men. If we are letting our bodies go, we're pretty much telling you to "take it or leave it" and we don't care about how we're presenting ourselves to you, IMO. They also are placing a burden on the RL cuz when the health complications ensure, you'll be suffering the effects/expenses with them. Also, sucks that they'll eventually be too tired and/or unable to have sex, take a simple walk with you and/or the kids... Edited July 22, 2015 by Gloria25
guest569 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 We are still really new, so all we do is laugh,sex& have fun together. Which is exactly why her weight is not your responsibility,you have no right to go telling her she is fat. My opinion is there is no way out aside from dumping her and finding someone who cares about their fitness and weight. She doesn't see a problem and doesn't want to get fit or eat well. You cant change her. Accept her or move on. I am sorry that this is not a "better response" because its not what you want to hear. Why care so much, you're only dating.. You must be pretty keen on her, so decide if its a deal breaker or not. 1
Author MC44 Posted July 22, 2015 Author Posted July 22, 2015 That's 3lbs per week on average. She's have to eat like 3000 calories a day to gain that fast. I still want to know how old you are both. And I want to know if she started the pill recently. We are both in out early 30's
katiegrl Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 (edited) Wow, her weight gain is only 1 month old and people are assuming her health is in jeopardy, she's lazy, etc. Come on. She may be having a rough month hormonally, which can cause weight gain and make you tire easily. If she's short, 4 pounds can look like 12. Women's weight fluctuates, period - some women more than others. Actually SHE was the one who told him she was lazy..... she also told him she does NOT like to go to gym and does NOT diet. No speculation here. It sounds like she is (or may be) an emotional eater, and that there is a direct correlation between her gaining weight and her dating the OP....as she used to be thin (for years apparently) and just started gaining weight AS SOON as she started dating the OP. Perhaps she feels more emotional since she's been dating him, who knows. But those two things are related IMO. Edited July 22, 2015 by katiegrl
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