Dreamworld Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Hi I was just wondering if I did the right thing, and also what makes guys like this the way they are? I have been dating here and there and though most have not gone so well recently I still try to stay positive and not give up and try to have fun. anyway my friend set me up with a coworker of hers in the beginning of last week and we hit it off pretty well; we had been seeing each other almost every day since and I have been keeping it pretty light. However, though he was charming and funny in the beginning, I have started to see a very, moody,irritable side to him and when he gets like this he is downright bitchy, snappy and rude. I was taken aback and I got that tickly instinct to run vibe. The last time we met we were talking and he said he had a tiring day at work and then when I asked him something, he says in this really exasperated tone of voice " use your head and figure it out, what the hell do you think I meant?" I was very very insulted and told him I was going home and that was the end. My friend and everyone else thinks he is the nicest guy ever and and are flabbergasted I dont want to see him again. This is nice?? I did the right thing right? Why are certain guys this way? They make the bitchiest women on pms seem tame in comparison!
Arieswoman Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 dreamworld, Who care's what he meant? You did the right thing to walk out on this drama. If he had had a bad day and work and didn't want to see you, he should've said so - not meet up and then act like a pain in the @r$e. You're well rid of this idiot. 2
BluEyeL Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 You absolutely did the right thing. Good for you for not putting up with crap like this. 2
Gaeta Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 HOLY COW!! You bet you did the right thing!! This is SO condescending and disrespectful. Why any of your friends want to over look something like that is beyond me! You have more respect for yourself obviously than they have. 2
joseb Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Sometimes people behave very differently in a relationship situation than they do in other areas. Maybe your friends have not seen this side of him. But yes, you are better off away from him. This kind of crap after a few dates - no way. Just an aside, you say you started dating "beginning of last week and we hit it off pretty well; we had been seeing each other almost every day since and I have been keeping it pretty light" I think from zero to seeing each other almost every day is way too much too soon. Not that I really think in this case it matters, he sounds like a dick, but maybe start a little slower next time. 1
scooby-philly Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I agree - slow things down a bit. But the other comments were correct - people can show stress, anger, disappointment, frustration in settings that others don't normally see. I'd normally say not to act harshly - even though the first two months go bye as a sort of "honeymoon" so to speak - as everyone can get frustrated. However, the manner in which it manifested itself only shows that issues would arise shortly down the road. Even if he were truly apologetic - and not just now but when it happened - the manner/tone would be worrisome. I mean, nothing ever goes perfect, even during the honeymoon phase. But to no register how he came off - YEP - leave. 1
Author Dreamworld Posted July 22, 2015 Author Posted July 22, 2015 HOLY COW!! You bet you did the right thing!! This is SO condescending and disrespectful. Why any of your friends want to over look something like that is beyond me! You have more respect for yourself obviously than they have. Exactly! Condescending is the word. And he was so damn sensitive and critical about everything when he was in one of those funks. Like we would be on the phone and he'd be in one of those moods he would just shoot down everything. Phone conversation: Me: " the weather is nice for some hiking huh?" Him: "Hiking bores me." (Sighs) Me: " um do you want to talk on the phone later? Now doesnt seem like the greatest time. We can talk later if you dont want to talk right now" Him: "I wouldnt have called you if I didnt want to talk now huh." ( whiny tone) And me being hardly ever moody about anything I have always had trouble figuring out how to act when people got like that for no apparent reason. I am always just "ok next time" and let it go. i am very easygoing and dont like to judge people, but this guy was acting more petulant than my 9 year old daughter! Sometimes I just think that people mistake an easygoing laid back attitude as dim witted and willing to be a doormat. I have found people treat me that way sometimes in the workplace too. No way. Thanks!
Author Dreamworld Posted July 22, 2015 Author Posted July 22, 2015 Sometimes people behave very differently in a relationship situation than they do in other areas. Maybe your friends have not seen this side of him. But yes, you are better off away from him. This kind of crap after a few dates - no way. Just an aside, you say you started dating "beginning of last week and we hit it off pretty well; we had been seeing each other almost every day since and I have been keeping it pretty light" I think from zero to seeing each other almost every day is way too much too soon. Not that I really think in this case it matters, he sounds like a dick, but maybe start a little slower next time. Yes. He seems very outgoung and happy go lucky on the surface. Yeah maybe things did move kinda fast but in this case I am glad I got to see his other colors sooner than later. 2
Author Dreamworld Posted July 22, 2015 Author Posted July 22, 2015 HOLY COW!! You bet you did the right thing!! This is SO condescending and disrespectful. Why any of your friends want to over look something like that is beyond me! You have more respect for yourself obviously than they have. That reminds me. When he said what he said on our last date, he cocked his head to the sky and did that eye roll thing too. With that loud drawn out sigh. You know what i mean right? That was the clincher. I do admit I am very observant on people's body language but man it was so insulting. Bitchy much?
Toodaloo Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I got that tickly instinct to run vibe. Yes you did the right thing. He may be as nice as pie as a work mate but as a lover he may be the pits. If you ever feel uncomfortable just get up and walk away. Never ever stay in situations where you get this tickling instinct to run. Never. 2
Toodaloo Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 this guy was acting more petulant than my 9 year old daughter! Some are saying just calm it down... Me? I am saying run for the damned hills and take a fully loaded 12 bore with you. 3
joseb Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Yes. He seems very outgoung and happy go lucky on the surface. Yeah maybe things did move kinda fast but in this case I am glad I got to see his other colors sooner than later. Agreed. In this case it help flush him out sooner!
jen1447 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Hi I was just wondering if I did the right thing, and also what makes guys like this the way they are? I have been dating here and there and though most have not gone so well recently I still try to stay positive and not give up and try to have fun. anyway my friend set me up with a coworker of hers in the beginning of last week and we hit it off pretty well; we had been seeing each other almost every day since and I have been keeping it pretty light. However, though he was charming and funny in the beginning, I have started to see a very, moody,irritable side to him and when he gets like this he is downright bitchy, snappy and rude. I was taken aback and I got that tickly instinct to run vibe. The last time we met we were talking and he said he had a tiring day at work and then when I asked him something, he says in this really exasperated tone of voice " use your head and figure it out, what the hell do you think I meant?" I was very very insulted and told him I was going home and that was the end. My friend and everyone else thinks he is the nicest guy ever and and are flabbergasted I dont want to see him again. This is nice?? I did the right thing right? Why are certain guys this way? They make the bitchiest women on pms seem tame in comparison! Right thing done, bitch put in check. Everybody gets cranky once in a while but there is a distinct man personality that exhibits downright bitchyness like this. Why or what it is I don't really know, but it exists. 1
lollipopspot Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 You did the right thing. I've been with moody, irritable partners before, and I hope that I have the strength to break it off if I ever find I'm with someone like that again. They really suck the joy out of life and make your living situation difficult. 1
Redhead14 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Hi I was just wondering if I did the right thing, and also what makes guys like this the way they are? I have been dating here and there and though most have not gone so well recently I still try to stay positive and not give up and try to have fun. anyway my friend set me up with a coworker of hers in the beginning of last week and we hit it off pretty well; we had been seeing each other almost every day since and I have been keeping it pretty light. However, though he was charming and funny in the beginning, I have started to see a very, moody,irritable side to him and when he gets like this he is downright bitchy, snappy and rude. I was taken aback and I got that tickly instinct to run vibe. The last time we met we were talking and he said he had a tiring day at work and then when I asked him something, he says in this really exasperated tone of voice " use your head and figure it out, what the hell do you think I meant?" I was very very insulted and told him I was going home and that was the end. My friend and everyone else thinks he is the nicest guy ever and and are flabbergasted I dont want to see him again. This is nice?? I did the right thing right? Why are certain guys this way? They make the bitchiest women on pms seem tame in comparison! I doesn't matter what anyone thinks. It's about whether or not this behavior works for YOU. Sure, everyone gets a little cranky once in a while, but that was down right rude and abusive. You don't have to tolerate that with a person you've known for a long time, why would you do it with someone you barely know. Even if he was just having a bad day, you'd think he'd try to be on his very best behavior with someone new and curb it. But this really is an indicator of the future with him. With this kinda thing, it's one strike, you're out in my book. 1
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