Still thinking about her after 10 months

[Tater Salad]

Well it has been almost 10 months since she dumped me, we dated for 3 years. We were deeply in love, but she was unhappy and I think GIGS kicked it, I could be wrong. It was hard for her to leave me, she tried 2 or 3 times before but I could tell she wasn't 100% certain, so we stayed together. The final time, it was as if she flipped a switch, and became cold, heartless, and cruel. She made new friends that hated me, probably because of all the things she said about me. So she had a strong support group when she left. But I could tell she was really trying to make this break up stick. I could tell it was forced.

 

Of course she acted like she was so much happier without me, and wasn't sad at all. But I know her, and I know people, and I know it had to hurt. At least a little. So NC for about 9 months, but I did email her back in FEB. She replied with a long email full of venom and hateness. Yes I just made up hateness as a word. So NC since then.

 

I am constantly reminded of her, whether it was an inside joke, a fantastic vacation we had, and other fond memories. I have blocked her on everything, except email. I have dated other girls, nothing serious. I just wish I could forget about her. Did she forget about me? She must think of me like I think of her sometimes.

 

I have been through other rough break ups, including a divorce, and I was able to move on faster than this. I don't want to think of her, but I just do.

 

Anyway, just had to get it out there.

[Satu]

Don't try to avoid your thoughts and feelings about your ex. That *resistance* just creates conflict and tension inside of you.

 

Let the thoughts and feelings come and go, just like any other thoughts and feelings.

 

Let them come, let them go.

 

You will find that there are nuggets of understanding and realisation in there which will help with your recovery.

 

If you block the painful feelings, you are at the same time blocking any good feelings which are being formed.

 

Eventually the energy in these thoughts will run out, and then they'll only rarely come to mind, if ever.

 

You get what you resist.

 

What you resist, persists.

 

 

Take care.

[Marco Valerio]

Were you a good boyfriend to her? did you treat her with respect and love? Well, then you should be proud of yourself. One day you'll move on with your life, you'll find someone else, someone better.

My point is, that you will find someone better who will love you deeply. She, eventually, will find someone else too, but not as good as you were. She will regret losing what she once had. But when that moment arrives, I can guarantee you that your worries will be a new set.

Never settle in a relationship for less than what you give, never.

[Arieswoman]

Tater Salad,

You are grieving for the loss of a relationship and no-one can "speed grieve".

 

Take your time and be kind to yourself.

 

Sorry it didn't work out x

[FancyFace]

Its been 8 months for me and I still think about that idiot pretty much every day. Granted I have no warm fuzzy feelings towards him whatsoever but I still think about him. About the sacrifices I made, about how great of a girlfriend I was to someone who honestly didnt deserve it etc.

 

It is all part of the healing process. When you get "stuck" at any point in the process, embrace it but more than anything try hold onto just how far you have come. I was an absolute train wreck month(s) 1 - 4 and I cant believe that I am the same person who thought she was gonna die without some mediocre character as a boyfriend.

 

Be gentle with yourself and always be proud of how far you have come. There is light at the end of every dark tunnel, just keep going.