LuckyxGuapa Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Hi, I was going out with my ex for 10 years. One day he turned round to me and said that he wasn't happy in our relationship anymore. After a lot of talking, we decided to start a fresh, sold our house and moved to a different area. Shortly after we had moved, he met this woman 10 years younger than him, and came home one day and said he was leaving me for her. I moved out of the house, and after much pestering him, she quickly moved in. She was a NIGHTMARE, she didn't trust him one bit, and would stalk and harass any woman who she ever found texting/ringing him. He confided in me over time about this and said she gave him a headache and he wasn't happy . They broke up a year later, where the house was put up for sale (the house me and him had got together). A few weeks later they got back together and lived at a friends house, until they find a house. I don't really know what happened but he did a complete u turn, and told me he wanted to get back with me, the grass wasnt greener and he realises he made a mistake. I have loved him unconditionally for the past 12 years and being honest, it was unbelievably hard to lose him and see him with someone else. I had moved areas again, and he bought a house near to me, finished with the other lady, and I moved in. Everything was great, like it had been for all them years. I am 41 and he is 39, the other woman had just turned 30. I thought sense had finally prevailed, and things were back on track, however, 3 months after being back together, he dropped the bombshell on me that he NOW wants the other woman back. I'm heartbroken. He needs to make his mind up and stick to it. We need our heads banging together for keeping on going back to him. he is my best friend, and we have been through a lot together over the 10 years, and once again, he has left me for the same girl. Does he not remember why they broke up (more than once) in the first place? Because she is just too much. Possessive, jealous, high maintenance. She sends me messages bragging about how he's gone back to her.and I just feel like curling up in a ball and crying. I now have to find a place to live, once again. I don't know what to do anymore.
carhill Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Sorry to read this. After a decade, perhaps accept this as your sincere and best effort and finish your business and move on. Block contact means and post here for support and read our resources on no contact. 1
BriNyc82 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. I'm sorry you're going through this but this guy sounds like he doesn't know what he wants and acts on knee jerk reactions. NC all the way!! 1
Gus Grimly Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I thought sense had finally prevailed, and things were back on track, however, 3 months after being back together, he dropped the bombshell on me that he NOW wants the other woman back. You are gonna hear a lot of suggestions that you go Full No Contact. It would behoove you to follow this advice to a T and Vanish from his life forever. 1
foolinlove79 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I was with someone 6 years who was like that. One day he love me and the next he doesnt. In my opinion these people are never happy with what they have. Always thinking they would be happier with someone else. 1
StrangerThanFiction Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I agree with, Gus. Full NC immediately. Block block block him everywhere possible. Don't let him have any way back into your life after this. You gave him another chance and he left you for her again. He's in a vicious cycle of wanting what he doesn't have. Wouldn't surprise me if after a few months back with that chick he'll get bored or he'll remember why they broke up in the first place and come crawling back to you. If you took him back again after that you can just wash, rinse, and repeat the cycle all over again. IMO, he's just going to keep bouncing back and forth between you two for as long as you'll allow it. I know how you're feeling because my ex did the exact same thing. He left me for the same woman twice as well. There will be no third time. Why would you want to be with someone who can't make up his mind? You were with the guy for a decade so by that point he would know if he wanted to be with you or not. His actions show that he doesn't. Don't waste any more of your time on him. It hurts like hell right now, I know, but once you make the decision to stop being his being his fallback you'll be amazed at how fast your self respect returns. You deserve way better than what he has to offer. Let the other chick feel the joy of having him leave her for someone else one day, which he undoubtedly will. 1
foolinlove79 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Oh and when they aren't happier they come crawling back. Then they leave again. 2
pillowpuffs Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Sorry for what you're going through. I'm especially sorry you lost your best friend - I know how that is. But honestly, it seems like he doesn't at all appreciate you and that's his loss because based on what you posted, I think you loved him a whole lot more than he deserved and he's not going to be loved like that by this other woman. Also what woman gloats in someone's face when they're hurting.. so terrible. Cry, as much as you want to and vent as much as you want to. This is clearly quite a painful experience and I can only say that feeling every emotion right now is necessary to your progress. It's not going to be an easy road but you will pick yourself up and you will be okay. Take care and update here as much as you like.
Qboro90 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I feel awful for you and know how much it must suck right now. The key here is to cut this man out of your life... This time though it needs to be forever! He's brought you heartbreak and turmoil each time. You've made it easy on him to leave by being available and jumping back into dating and living together once he dropped the other girl. This will only continue to happen no matter what he tells you. Once he splits up with her again he's going to tell you how he made the biggest mistake of his life, he knows how you are the one and even might say he wants to marry you. DO NOT GIVE IN. Even if this girl he's with now moves to China or dies there will eventually be ANOTHER girl. Do you really want to go through this again for the rest of your life? Accept the fact that while you love him so much he does not love and treat you how you deserve to be treated. A 39 yo man is not going to change. He will get better at lying and manipulating but he is definitely not going to change. Focus on yourself and living situation then start looking and dating someone who appreciates and respects you. This guy does neither. Best of luck
Recommended Posts