The hardest part for me is wondering whether her reasons were genuine or not.

[Xiomn]

Ex: I have broken up with Xiomn

Ex's bff: Oh that is sad, but I am sure you did the right thing.

Ex: Yes, I think so.

Ex''s bfff: What about your new flat, you were going to move in with him I thought?

Ex: I am going to live alone.

Ex's bff: Alone? How are you going to pay the rent?

Ex: I'll manage.

Ex's bff: My lease is up soon, fancy sharing?

Ex: That sounds like an excellent idea. Oh God I am soo happy. I just didn't want to share with anyone I didn't know.

 

You're right.. except just one detail, it's her dads flat but in her name or something like that she told me, so basically when she moves in he wasn't planning on charging her any rent at all. (not sure on the exact details so don't read into that too much) Basically All she would have had to pay is bills, and given she would have been on her own it probably would have been cheaper that way too. When we were planning on moving in together her dad decided to not charge me rent when I moved in too, probably as a way of taking a liking to me because i was her boyfriend and that was his way of bonding or something. She's lucky like that, when I was with her she could just call her dad up at any time she needed, ask for money and he would hand her £100 like it was nothing. Over the course I was with her he must have handed her at least over £1000 due to her being irresponsible with money.

Edited July 24, 2015 by Xiomn

[elaine567]

You're right.. except just one detail, it's her dads flat but in her name or something like that she told me, so basically when she moves in he wasn't planning on charging her any rent at all. .

 

Ok, but you get the gist of what I was trying to say, dumpees often latch onto words the dumper said just before they left and then accuse them of lying, when it doesn't work out exactly in the way the dumper said.

 

Sometimes dumpers are lying, they have to, to spare the dumpee's feelings, but often life happens and circumstances just change and lying was never their intention.

[Xiomn]

Ok, but you get the gist of what I was trying to say, dumpees often latch onto words the dumper said just before they left and then accuse them of lying, when it doesn't work out exactly in the way the dumper said.

 

Sometimes dumpers are lying, they have to, to spare the dumpee's feelings, but often life happens and circumstances just change and lying was never their intention.

 

I guess, it's a possibility. I guess the reason I'm right now thinking she is a liar is because this wasn't something that changed over a long period of time, she said she wanted to live in her own, wanted space not just from me but from everyone, also saying she wanted to change the room I was going to move into, into a study/writing room. When I was in the begging phase I was telling her why doesn't she just do her writing and studying in her bedroom like she did all last year in university halls and she just said she wanted a separate room to do all her writing in. Now she'll be moving into the new flat with her best female friend from back home. All that changed within 6 measly days? Then again thinking about it I shouldn't really be that surprised because having been with her for 10 months she is always prone to changing her mind all the time within a short space of time which is why I guess it could be a possibility.

[elaine567]

Now she'll be moving into the new flat with her best female friend from back home. All that changed within 6 measly days? Then again thinking about it I shouldn't really be that surprised because having been with her for 10 months she is always prone to changing her mind all the time within a short space of time which is why I guess it could be a possibility.

 

Exactly, sounds great a writing room, then she thought but I will be all alone, I need some company...

 

It is best not to think about what she is thinking/thought as only she really knows that.

Concentrate on yourself and make plans as to where YOU are going to live, what YOU want to do with your life and how YOU are going to go about enjoying it.

[Xiomn]

Feeling a bit crappy this morning after blocking my ex on Facebook last night after accidentally finding out she unblocked me. I feel like I should have waited at least around 2 days or something just to leave the channel of communication open to see if she wanted to say anything to me instead of blocking her straight off the bat. I'd very much love for us to reconcile, and feel like blocking her might have gave the wrong impression like "I'm done with you and want nothing to do with you" when that's not necessarily the case. Deep down I know that if she really wants to contact me though she can text or call me (if she even has my number anymore )

[Redhead14]

Hmm.. I think the hardest thing for me to get my head around after my breakup is wondering to myself as to whether my girlfriend was being seriously genuine for her reasoning of wanting to breakup.

 

She said she wants to focus on herself, her studies and her writing and to mature herself. (she wants to become a great writer and write a best seller in the future) She is very passionate about writing and writing is a hobby which no doubt probably requires a lot of her time on her part both in the thinking process and the actual writing process. She has clear goals as to where she wants to be in the future and doesn't want the added stress of a relationship to distract her in getting to where she wants to be.I have already seen some of her writing, they're pretty long going upwards to about 10,000 words (so far) which is more than a university dissertation itself.

 

She'll also have university alongside this. (My only problem with this excuse is that she is going into first year and her grades don't even count towards her final degree classification, so it's no pressure at all really as she only needs a bear minimum of a pass (40%) to proceed onto year 2 which is achievable even if you hardly put any effort in at all.

 

But at the same time.. when we were together she was in foundation year and she did seem to be struggling a lot with her work and she was getting emails from lecturers telling her that she might end up failing. (which made me think she obviously isn't cut out for university if she can't even handle foundation year which is essentially for those who don't know the basic entry year for those who didn't initially get the grades needed to get onto the course in preparation for going into first year.)

 

Everyone has different capabilities, someone who finds something easy another might find hard. So i'm a bit mixed about that reasoning. I must admit in the past I always was of the opinion that the reason she struggled with her work was because she did spent a lot of time with her friends and not enough time with her work and she kept leaving it until the last minute.

 

She is looking for a job alongside university and her writing too, which adds another obstacle to the equation, put it all together, writing, university and a part time job on the side it does sound like a lot I must admit.

 

However, I know for a fact if you love someone deep down you will find a way to make it work between each other even if you know you will end up having to make sacrifices such as not seeing each other as often as you normally would. I've told her exactly this and how I don't intend to nor want to distract her or put more pressure or stress on her and in fact I want to be there for her if she needs me as she is going through supposedly a stressful time in her life at the moment. Still, she had absolutely none of it.

 

There's also the fact that I'm in my last year of university, so I'm practically 2 years ahead of her academically, it's the most important, hardest and most stressful year of university and unlike her i'm not asking her for time and space to focus on myself and my studies because I know we can work through it somehow. Her situation as I've outlined above in relation to university is relatively easy compared to me, but again as I said everyone struggles differently.

 

When she broke up with me, she was (and I must emphasize and make this clear, very adamant) that she was not breaking up with me to get with someone else, nor did she want to be with anyone else in the future. She stated that she did not want a relationship right now with anyone, including myself because of all the stuff I have said above.

 

But you can understand why i'm sceptical DESPITE how genuine she sounds like she is being, as I outlined above, it's clearly a workable situation but she doesn't want to try. Which makes me think about all those people that always say there's only 2 reasons girl say this type of stuff:

 

1. Because they want to break it off with you lightly, they want to be free to mess around without commitment and don't have the courage to tell you to your face.

 

2. Because there is another guy behind the scenes.

 

When you scour the forums, reading hundreds of different people and their own unique and similar situations and all you hear in response is "dude i guarantee she said this because there was another guy, you won't believe it now but you'll come back in a week and realize how dumb you were for believing her" (Or something to that line) Stuff like that can really get into your head, especially when you know these people don't even know the full situation so how could they possibly be so 100% certain? At best they go off their own experiences and think everyone else will have the same outcome as they did.

 

If only I could read her mind and know for certain whether her reasons are genuine. The only other option is to simply wait and see if she gets with another guy to confirm my scepticism.

 

I know the typical response to this will be telling me to stop contemplating and accept the fact that it is done and there is nothing you can do right now. She has made up her mind. I completely agree, I have come to terms with that. BUT, it still bugs me nonetheless, If I knew whether she was being genuine or not I feel like it would honestly put my mind to rest, even if worse did come to worst and I found out she wasn't being genuine and there was another guy. If anything that would probably make me angry and not depressed like I am now so it probably (although i don't know for certain) would make my recovery a lot less painful.

 

The reasons she presented were sound, reasonable, focused reasons for ending a relationship. It doesn't matter what else it could have been. Get out of her head and into yours and focus on your needs and life now.

 

I'd say you would not have been getting all you needed for yourself from her if she had another guy and likely even if she was trying to focus on herself and her future. If she's distracted by another guy, she won't be being what you needed anyway. If she's that focused on herself and her future, she's not going to be able to give you all you need either.

 

It doesn't matter what other women do when they end a relationship. It only matters what SHE said. If she has been a liar during your relationship, maybe I'd mistrust her reasoning. If she has otherwise been an honest person and upfront with you, take her at her word. She's got a ton of stuff on her plate. You know this to be true, yes? Why question her?

 

Focus on yourself now and move forward. Go out and enjoy your life.

[CalvinM]

I'm a writer. A very good one (or so I've been told), certainly above average. I've never felt the need or desire to take proper schooling for my craft.

 

I'll echo what the others have said - it doesn't matter why she ended things. And I'm realizing with the demise of my own relationship that I don't want to be with someone who bails when things get tough.

 

I know with my writing, I work better when I have someone to bounce ideas off of. My ex lives my writing, and losing her from my life is going to be hard, but it will also end pure me to dig deeper creatively.

 

Simply put, you loved more. And most women can't live with the burden of knowing such things.

[Xiomn]

Ah well.. I've just signed my accommodation contract to live in university halls again next year which was depressing. To think just 3 weeks ago we were still planning on moving in together in a flat just to ourselves which we had been planning on doing for over half a year. That was my dream, honestly never wanted anything more in my entire life than to have my own flat to myself, and when I met her I wanted to share my dream with her of course and now we've broken up I'm having to move back into halls again because of financial circumstances. Absolutely hate living with other people, done it for two years now and it's the most miserable experience ever having to share with noisy messy people. Not only did she break up with me, but for the near future she crushed my one and only dream that I wanted in life.

[Xiomn]

So I was talking to people on the university freshers page and I along with a bunch of other people were just talking about random stuff. My ex has me blocked on Facebook so we can't see each others comments but apparently she was commenting on the same status as me. Someone tagged me in a comment on the status when we were talking and she found out I was commenting on the same status from this (because my name still shows up on that persons comment, even on her side, just without the link I think.) Someone told me she then put a comment up saying 'when your ex comments on the same status but you can't see his comments because you've blocked him' she then put a sad face emoticon apparently, like this:

 

She still has me blocked though :/

Do you think she'll reach out to me at some point or am I just looking into this too much? We're 9 days into NC right now.

[Xiomn]

What the ****!! Me and my ex have been broken up for over 3 weeks now, been in NC for just over a week and all of a sudden my mum has decided to add my ex girlfriend on Facebook out of blue, what the hell!?! I've told my mum we broken up weeks ago so I don't know what the hell she is playing at. Now my ex has broke NC to ask me why my mum added her and probably thinks i'm a creep now. What the hell.

 

Should i reply?

 

Indeed.

 

Gus what you think?

Edited July 29, 2015 by Xiomn

[Xiomn]

What the ****!! Me and my ex have been broken up for over 3 weeks now, been in NC for just over a week and all of a sudden my mum has decided to add my ex girlfriend on Facebook out of blue, what the hell!?! I've told my mum we broken up weeks ago so I don't know what the hell she is playing at. Now my ex has broke NC to ask me why my mum added her and probably thinks i'm a creep now. What the hell.

 

Should i reply?

 

 

 

Gus what you think?

 

I asked my mum whether she added her and she said no I swear I didn't add her and that my ex is lying...something weird going on..haven't replied to my ex yet though.. not sure if I should break NC.

[mossycup]

Blah blah blah.

 

In some cases you would really like to know if your ex cheated / has moved on to someone else. This can be useful information because you know you would never take them back.

 

That's one type of closure. Really tired of hearing that there's no closure. There is closure, but people are too much of cowards to let them know the truth. The truth is closure. The closer you get to the truth, the closer you get to real closure. Sure it's rare, because people are total crap these days.

 

"Your dick is too small."

 

"You're too annoying"

 

"I found someone who is richer."

 

"I'm bored of you."

 

All are closure in a way. When they tell you the reason for breaking up with you and you know it's true and you deserve it. That's closure. If they explain their own change of heart it's also closure.

 

You know what, I really appreciate this. My ex left me in the most confusing way I or anyone I speak with has ever heard. I am NC for three months and I DON'T want to have closure YET, that is, he hurt me bad enough with the confusion I just want to not speak to him until I am more recovered from the initial pain. Yet I do think ALOT about why, and when I am ready, I would like to know the truth. I think a really painful truth actually does really clarify. There is something very relieving about it. It burns your soul clean in a way, especially if it is shallow.

 

In a way, a dumper protects themselves by being kind. They make themselves seem like a deep person when they give gracious reasons. I think we can tell in our hearts if a person is telling the truth. Once a man left me, crying saying "I love you but I just can't do this anymore". I heard him, felt the pain, understood. Another man said, "You have too many problems" He was right and I appreciated that (that was a long time ago and I still remember how much I appreciated the honesty). That makes a person seems strong and self-assured, when they tell you the truth, and you can move on. However, when a person tells you a wierd story, it makes YOU feel worse and them better, I think. Why? Because even though they are rejecting you, they get to feel kind, and even more, they get to tell themselves and you that their reasoning is kind and reasonable and mature. Whereas if they were honest and just said, "I'm bored" they'd have to admit the truth to themselves that they were the ones who had the issues, not you, and then you could see the truth and not want them back because they are kind. Instead you could really take into account their character.

 

So, yeah, painful truth does bring closure I think because it puts the issues where they belong, on the dumper (or if the dumper is clear, for example, "You are a hurtful person and I am leaving you" then at least the dumpee knows what THEY need to do to improve). I know it's not always possible in the moment, as dumpers are often confused and defensive, but, I think it is very reasonable, as the dumpee, to feel EXTRA crappy when you ex says something that makes no sense to you but seems very "mature". It takes away YOUR ability to accurately make sense of the situation, and that can take away from your self esteem and confidence.

 

We don't always have the ability to get the truth from our ex - the dumper as I said doesn't always know what's going on, so I would say, if you feel effed up by the dumpers reasoning, allow yourself that feeling. Acknoweldge that they off loaded their emotional sh*t onto you while also rejecting you - they put their confusion into your mind to work out. Say no to that. That's their crap. You got to move on and be proud to be alone waiting for a newer and better person. Or, if not proud, then just effing survive the day and love yourself.

[unsaved]

Xiomn,

 

Hey. You really seem like you are going through a whole lot right now. Especially in your head and heart. I know it is hard. We are all here with you. Hang in there. It will get better. I know exactly how you feel.

 

I just want to share with you the POWER of NC in it's TRUEST FORM. Because from what I see, you are not going true NC. You keep checking Facebook, social media, other family members' facebooks, asking others about her, etc. to see if she is still there. To check in on her. To know what she's doing. You are still obsessed.

 

WHY? Why are you torturing yourself? I was IN LOVE with my boyfriend. I loved I'm so much. Blah blah. JUST AS MUCH as you loved your g/f. We are ALL the same on this website and basically in the same boat. I wanted to know what he was doing too. IT DROVE ME CRAZY!! I couldn't function! Every time I found out what he was doing, it drove me to tears. He's doing stuff without me! He's happy without me! It was miserable. I learned I had to MAKE myself let go. I cannot control what he is doing, saying, acting. Why do I need to know? It ONLY brings sadness. I had to let go. I can only focus on myself now. I had to stop this pain and craziness because it was destroying my entire being.

 

You HAVE TO START NC FOR REAL. GET OFF FACEBOOK! DELETE THE APP! Delete her friends or at the LEAST, unfollow them. Cut off all contact in any form. Tell your friends and family to stop talking about her, or even mention her when you are around. If they want to continue friendships, that is THEIR business, not yours. Make her disappear from your life! Disappear from her life! Stay away from places she could be. Don't google search her. Google search other things like what went wrong in your relationship. Google search why women leave men. Google search ANYTHING ELSE. Search this website for useful topics that might be similar to your story and how those people got through it! I do that each and every day. It's daunting....but it helps!

 

I swear to ***king God, it makes you feel better. I am 15 days NC and him being completely out of my life. ONLY 15 days. Even after only 15 days I have already gotten a small routine where I'm on my own and not depending on him. Do I still think about him? HELL YES, 95% of my day. Do I analyze our past and what happened? YES 99% of my day. Like I said, I'm constantly searching the internet for stories similar to mine. May not be healthy. BUT, Do I still wonder what he's doing? What he's thinking? What he posted on Facebook? Hardly at all. I'll tell you, that it is one of the most freeing feelings to not obsess over what he's doing now. Yea, sometimes I wonder. But it's only fleeting. I don't OBSESS anymore and it is such a weight off my shoulders. And I also am able to see things from our relationship more clearly now that I'm not obsessing about what he's doing now. I'm thinking objectively. I still love him. I still wish we were together. But we're not.

 

I still think about him A LOT. In and out all day long. But it's really more focused on the past now. Like, the trips we took together, how we seemed to joke about things that only the two of us would understand. It's like I daydream. But it doesn't consume me or cause me to feel like I'm having a panic attack. It's more like a somber daydream that I have that slowly passes. I feel sad about it. But it passes. It's funny, many of the bad times are now slowly seeping their way in too. It makes me sad as well, but actually allows my brain to say "hmm, I hated that. That was so awful." More and more of those come in each day and I can tell I'm SLOWLY moving forward.

 

I promise, if you start this process of true NC and DECIDING to move on and respect your ex's wishes, you will be where I'm at. I know I'm not very far and I have a long way to go. But at least I'm at some sort of peace.

 

STAY STRONG! We are all here for you no matter what.

 

Unsaved

[Xiomn]

Xiomn,

 

 

 

 

Unsaved

 

 

Hi unsaved, thank you for the encouragement. Do you have any insight for my latest post? I'm struggling on whether to contact her in this particular instance or just remain NC. ^^^

 

We've been NC for 9 days (she forced it on me saying I don't think we should keep in contact) and well she texted me out of the blue today asking why my mum added her on Facebook. (She's not on my Facebook btw, she has me blocked) I haven't responded to her yet, not sure if I should.. but I asked my mum about it and she said she didn't add her at all so I don't know what's going on? Should I message her back telling her what my mum said or should I just not text back?

Edited July 29, 2015 by Xiomn

[unsaved]

Xiomn,

 

As you might be able to tell from my last comment, I think that you should never respond again. I think her reaching out to you is the obvious form of breadcrumbs to where she just wants to know if you're still there but doesn't want anything more. Be done with this. She ended it with you and it's time to move on. BUT, I am also quite aware of how much you are still "in it" and hoping for anything from this. I do know you will want to respond in some way. I probably would too. If you do respond to her, I think you should really say something that will bring some finality in your mind on everything.

 

This is what I would say, obviously not exactly like this, but similar:

 

"Ex,

 

I don't know what is going on with this Facebook thing or my mom. I don't really care and that is yours and my mom's business, NOT MINE. I love you and want to be with you. You told me you do not want to be with me. If you still want to be with me, tell me now. If you do not, then please, please, please do not contact me under any circumstance ever again or reach out to me in any way unless you are telling me you made a mistake and love me and want me back. I cannot be friends with you and your continued contact only hurts me and hinders my ability to move on. Please, if you cared about me at all, respect my wishes that I want to move on. I will reach out to you if and when i am ready. Take care."

 

I understand you may not want to send it all in one message and you might have more of a conversation about it. But I encourage the convo to follow something similar to this. Leave it all said there and be done with it. It is the only way.

 

Unsaved

[Xiomn]

Xiomn,

 

As you might be able to tell from my last comment, I think that you should never respond again. I think her reaching out to you is the obvious form of breadcrumbs to where she just wants to know if you're still there but doesn't want anything more. Be done with this. She ended it with you and it's time to move on. BUT, I am also quite aware of how much you are still "in it" and hoping for anything from this. I do know you will want to respond in some way. I probably would too. If you do respond to her, I think you should really say something that will bring some finality in your mind on everything.

 

This is what I would say, obviously not exactly like this, but similar:

 

"Ex,

 

I don't know what is going on with this Facebook thing or my mom. I don't really care and that is yours and my mom's business, NOT MINE. I love you and want to be with you. You told me you do not want to be with me. If you still want to be with me, tell me now. If you do not, then please, please, please do not contact me under any circumstance ever again or reach out to me in any way unless you are telling me you made a mistake and love me and want me back. I cannot be friends with you and your continued contact only hurts me and hinders my ability to move on. Please, if you cared about me at all, respect my wishes that I want to move on. I will reach out to you if and when i am ready. Take care."

 

I understand you may not want to send it all in one message and you might have more of a conversation about it. But I encourage the convo to follow something similar to this. Leave it all said there and be done with it. It is the only way.

 

Unsaved

 

Thanks Unsaved.. I read your message, thing is she already knows I love her, I've told her so in the last message before we went NC and besides that she knows it anyway so i think saying all that would just push her away AGAIN. And (although I never worded it anything really like what you said) we've already decided to cut off communication and not talk to each other, this was 9 days ago she told me she doesn't think we should keep in contact anymore because she realized I couldn't just be friends with her which was true so she forced NC onto me and we both said our goodbyes..she said constantly talking to me was messing her up big time because it hurts her knowing that I am hurt and she hates hurting people she said.

 

I think I'm just not going to respond because I fear If I respond it's got nothing to do with getting back with me at all so what's the point. If I did say something like "I don't know what's going on, my mum said she didn't add you so." then she would probably just reply something like "ok" and that would hurt me because deep down I would be wanting more, so probably best not to respond as you said.

Edited July 29, 2015 by Xiomn

[unsaved]

Hey, I apologize for not knowing the full story. I probably should've read back on all the details. Sorry about that.

 

You know which option is best for you. If you do respond though, I would say something along the lines of how you DO NOT want her contacting you again about anything.

 

But, obviously I agree to ignore.

 

Ok, XIOMN, THIS IS IT. It's time to TRULY GO NC. NO MORE FACEBOOK STALKING for "hidden comments" because she is blocked or commenting on threads of people you have in common with her. STOP DOING THINGS ON FACEBOOK (or any other social media site she is involved in) for at least 1 month! I challenge you. Don't even post stuff on your own page! After one breakup that i was struggling with, I literally deleted the app and told myself I was not allowed to get on it for 2 weeks (longer than that was too hard, haha). Tell your friends and family to no longer mention what is going on with her because you are trying to heal. They will listen. It's time to DO YOU. Then, use everyone around you to help get through this withdrawal.

 

I think breakups are a great time to FORCE yourself discover other ways to communicate in life besides social media. I've been going over to my parents' house daily, visiting friends daily, calling friends on the phone each night, texting friends each night. ALL of them have been open to this. They let me talk about the breakup and withdrawal over and over too and are so wonderful. I will change the friends up too so I don't seem too overbearing on one. Loveshack is a great place to come (AND I COME HERE EVERY NIGHT TOO), but you have to have some ACTUAL contact with the real world too. Time to literally start planning your day and how you're going to get through it without knowing anything about her. YOU CAN DO IT. I'll be here all along the way.

[Xiomn]

Y

 

Agree, I don't 100% believe all this "you wont find closure from your ex, closure has to come from yourself" I'm sure that's true to some extent, but I feel people are trying too hard to be some intelligent expert like they know everything or they're some kind of religious person "you will only find inner peace when you believe in God" or some crap like that.

 

If dumpers were actually true in their reasoning (and i'm not saying mine wasn't telling the truth, but i'm sceptical) then as the other poster said it would be closure because at least then just the fact they were straight with you and not feeding you BS. I'd rather be told "I'm leaving you for someone else" despite how harsh it might be in the initial stage, than some other "light excuse" then running off with that someone else or sitting their questioning yourself as I've been doing as to whether they're reasoning was genuine or not.

[BriNyc82]

Xiom I agree to an extent. It's hard to know if we are being fed Bs or not. Do I believe him? I have no clue. I wanted his explanation to incorporate ME somehow and it didn't. I think if he was able to articulate where I came into play with everything I could get closure. But he can't. So I need to either believe him and accept it. Or don't and find inner strength to just move on

[Xiomn]

I ended up giving in and messaging her about the whole my mum adding her situation just to clear things up so it doesn't make me look like a creep or anything. Back to NC, feel kind of bad for breaking it but something weird was going on.. my ex said my mum added her on facebook but my mum kept telling me she didn't and had no reason to add her, so either one of them is lying to me or my mum has been hacked or something, but even then if she got hacked why would a hacker add my ex who isn't even on my friends list anymore and has me blocked. Hate to say it but got a feeling my mum is either lying to me or something, she has been liking my statuses from over 5 years ago and I questioned her about it asking her did you like a status from 2010 and she said can't remember and I was like How can you not remember when it said you liked it 10 minutes ago? She didn't even reply to me.. so I sent her a link of the thing she liked asking her do you remember liking this 10 minutes ago and she's not replying to me again even though it says she has seen the message.

 

Seems a bit fishy to me.. I really don't need this added stress now, I'll be furious if I found out she was lying to me about adding my ex when she knows full well we're not even together anymore.

Edited July 29, 2015 by Xiomn

[Xiomn]

Bloody hell what is wrong with me!?!? I told myself in the previous post that I would not contact her unless it was clear she wanted to reconcile, but at the same time I didn't want her to think something creepy about me when she asked why my mum added her so I felt obligated to clear things up. Now I've broke NC, it was only 9 days into it luckily but my anxiety is going through the roof now... couldn't eat my dinner because of loss of appetite due to feeling anxious as hell. God damnit wish I didn't break NC, sorry I've failed you all. )':

 

Starting again...

Edited July 29, 2015 by Xiomn

[BriNyc82]

Bloody hell what is wrong with me!?!? I told myself in the previous post that I would not contact her unless it was clear she wanted to reconcile, but at the same time I didn't want her to think something creepy about me when she asked why my mum added her so I felt obligated to clear things up. Now I've broke NC, it was only 9 days into it luckily but my anxiety is going through the roof now... couldn't eat my dinner because of loss of appetite due to feeling anxious as hell. God damnit wish I didn't break NC, sorry I've failed you all. )':

 

Starting again...

 

Don't beat yourself up about it and get hung up on NC. I would have done the same thing. This wasn't a "let me reach out bc I want her back" type thing. You said what you had to say. It's done with and now you can keep moving along. I would be so mad at my mom too. This is why parents should not be allowed to use FB.

Edited July 30, 2015 by BriNyc82