craterfifty Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 We started dating after she graduated college (I still had my final year) at the end of the 2011, she was 22 and I was 21. Now I just turned 25 and she is 26 (turning 27 in December). We had a great relationship through the first almost 3.5 years she moved in to my apartment (more so out of convenience not because we thought we were ready). She decided to break up with me back in early February through text message. Her reasoning at first was that basically I did everything imaginable wrong, which was not true - i'm not perfect but I treated her very well. Eventually she gave in an told me that she just thinks were too young and that we both need to make sure this is what we want for the rest of our lives. So we both went out and dated other people - her more than I. So we were broken up about 6 weeks, when the no contact period I implemented ended (she didnt contact me once during that time), but after that I started one of those stupid relationship things where you send texts to get in her head and she responded, but in a neutral way. Eventually at Mid April I posted a picture on Snapchat of me and another girl out at a hockey game and the next day the texts started coming from here. I didnt respond for hours and when I didnt respond she decided to FaceTime me, and my curiosity got the better of me so I picked it up. I went over to her new apartment that night we had sex and I went out with her friends. She ultimately kept wanting me around and about 1-2 weeks later we were dating again. She did resist a little but said its what she wanted. She threw me a surprise birthday party and we were always together and having fun. After about a week she said she thinks it happened to fast and I gave her a choice - either we're together or we're not. She chose to be together. However, after 2.5 months of being back together she decided last week that she needs more time to be independent and that she's unhappy about something in her life (all through text again). I could tell she was acting a little weird towards the end, but she tends to go through little moods. Anyway, that same day I went back as planned to pick up my stuff (a few shirts and whatnot) - she knew I was coming, but her co-worker took her out of work early because she was just sitting there sad and they got drinks and apparently downed a lot of wine. So when she realized I was at her apartment she said maybe we should meet on the corner - I said if she doesn't respect me enough to come see me in her apartment then Ill just leave (this was before I knew she was drunk). So she comes - we have a drunk convo which left me with just as many questions as when I walked in. She was telling me I'm the love of her life and hopefully when she's ready Ill still be there - and that if we see each other out she's going to grab me and kiss me. The next day she apologized for being drunk. I sent her a whole thing about how I respect that she wants to find out why she's unhappy and that I care about her. She sent back a small blurb that ended with her saying "my heart is telling me to do me for a bit." We haven't spoken since Friday night, the day after we broke up. I want to message her and tell her that I didn't appreciate her being drunk the last time we spoke and that I can't be her friend because of the way she's treated me, and that her dating other people is just going to push me away. Is it even worth it? She is hanging out with this group of girls that are relatively new friends who like to party, but complain that no guy wants them. I don't know why she wants to be a part of that crew especially since the moment one of them finds a guy they will hold on for dear life. Most of the girls in this crew are a year or two younger than her. The 1/2 that are her age a literal Sl*ts. My Ex has the idea in her head that people break up and get back together all the time and get married. However at this point I feel like I am her safe back up play. She also has been Snapchatting her drinking like a crazy person (one day at a pool party where a high school ex was hanging), and her niece and nephew - all things she knows would make me upset (she knows I see all of her snapchats). A little more about my Ex, she has adhd and no longer takes her medicine. She has a masters in Mental health counseling, but works in a non-related field because she can't find a job with her degree. After we broke up last time she was fired from the job related to her degree. She got her apartment then and is now freaking out because she doesn't make as much now and is now depleting her savings. She is very social and needs to always be chatting with someone and she felt like with me around she had to be with me all the time (though I always told her to hang with friends and I'd see her after - she would usually choose to hang with me). I don't know what to do. Do I continue no contact, Do I let it all just play out and leave it alone or can I text her? She said our break wasn't long enough, does this really mean that she wants to be together just not now? Do I tell her I'm not okay with just being friends? Help please. Any advice helps!
Author craterfifty Posted July 21, 2015 Author Posted July 21, 2015 Please give me some advice if you can!
goldway90 Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 "she has adhd and no longer takes her medicine" You dodged a bullet right there, it doesn't matter what her reasons, her behavior will continue and she'll be stuck in that cycle unless she decide to get help. Don't send anything to her, NC and don't respond to her. Time to live your OWN life, don't wait for other people.
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