Lights Posted May 5, 2005 Posted May 5, 2005 What are good ways to quickly get a woman's interest and phone number in cases where conversation is impractical or unlikely? I've seen a couple cute women at the gym over time--the problem is that they're pretty much off limits because I don't know how to quickly pick them up without interrupting my training or theirs. Holding a conversation just isn't going to happen (even if the woman was receptive to it, taking all that time would compromise my own training). So in this situation, can anyone recommend a good way to rapidly approach and charm a woman I see around there, and then disappear back among the machines in time for the next set? I'm aware as anyone else that the gym is for training, not socializing, but hey, people purportedly meet all the time in places not specifically dedicated to socializing, theoretically due to a common interest. Thanks all.
RoseyLife Posted May 5, 2005 Posted May 5, 2005 pick a couple women regulars that catch your eye. take it slow. quick and easy numbers i don't think would work. smile at them, friendly smiles not creepy stalkerish overly-enthusiastic smiles. maybe a hi how are you? get them thinking about you, considering you, mulling you over. i honestly don't think there's a way to get a woman's number, if she's respectable at all & STD-free she won't give it to you straightup, unless you're like drop dead gorgeous Greek god, which you would then know because she'd (they'd) be staring at you all the time.
Author Lights Posted May 5, 2005 Author Posted May 5, 2005 Originally posted by RoseyLife pick a couple women regulars that catch your eye. take it slow. quick and easy numbers i don't think would work. smile at them, friendly smiles not creepy stalkerish overly-enthusiastic smiles. That's pretty much all I'm limited to, minus the regulars part (I'm pretty erratic about what specific time in the day I'm there, so the people I'm around vary a lot). maybe a hi how are you? get them thinking about you, considering you, mulling you over. That's precisely the problem--finding the timing to get near enough to them to do that in the first place. i honestly don't think there's a way to get a woman's number, if she's respectable at all & STD-free she won't give it to you straightup, unless you're like drop dead gorgeous Greek god, which you would then know because she'd (they'd) be staring at you all the time. As the saying goes, "I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, he's Buddha..." More seriously though, are you saying a forward approach is asking for failure? (such as something along the lines of "Excuse me a second--I don't want to interrupt your training, but I noticed you from over there. I'd like to chat with you some time over [hmm...need to find a good fitness-related equivalent for coffee/drinks etc.]...") I don't see how STD free has anything to do with it--anyone who's been cheated on knows that one's own sexual promiscuity [let alone social "promiscuity"] isn't the only reason for STD infections.
KissMyTiara Posted May 5, 2005 Posted May 5, 2005 Assuming she doesn't have headphones on (which is a polite way of saying "PLEASE DO NOT APPROACH ME, I AM BUSY WORKING OUT"), Get on the machine next to her, then engage in small talk with her about whatever's on the TV ...or ask to work in on whatever weight machine she's using and engage in small talk... You gotta do this at least 2-3 times with the same woman (separate gym visits, obviously) before you ask for her number or whathaveyou...only then will she think you might be genuinely interested and not some creepy-gym-rat.
BrotherAaron Posted May 5, 2005 Posted May 5, 2005 The first time you talk to a particular girl, do it at the end of your workout... make an excuse to talk to her, then do it for a couple minutes, then say you can't hang out because you've got somewhere to be, and disappear. Then, when you see her again, flirt, ask for the number, tell her you'll call her sometime, and get back to your workout, waving goodbye as you (or her) leave.
Author Lights Posted May 8, 2005 Author Posted May 8, 2005 Originally posted by KissMyTiara Assuming she doesn't have headphones on (which is a polite way of saying "PLEASE DO NOT APPROACH ME, I AM BUSY WORKING OUT"), Get on the machine next to her, then engage in small talk with her about whatever's on the TV ...or ask to work in on whatever weight machine she's using and engage in small talk... So far I haven't been lucky enough in that regard (happening to see such a woman who happens to be at or right next to the machine/bar I am about to use next). But even then, I'm having a hard time imagining anyone being too able to do small talk through a set of deadlifts or situps. Originally posted by BrotherAaron The first time you talk to a particular girl, do it at the end of your workout... make an excuse to talk to her, then do it for a couple minutes, then say you can't hang out because you've got somewhere to be, and disappear. Then, when you see her again, flirt, ask for the number, tell her you'll call her sometime, and get back to your workout, waving goodbye as you (or her) leave. The thing is that in any such case neither individual will have multiple minutes to allocate to talking--few people work out in such a fashion that they rest for multiple minutes after each set. Most likely I'll need to keep conversation to the absolute minimum required. I'm not sure what you mean by make an excuse to talk to her, though. BTW, the gym is just an example of a situation where I didn't really know what to do when I see one or more women I might like and where I can't rely on using conversation to pick them up. What are good methods in such cases in general? Thanks for the responses.
sanne Posted May 8, 2005 Posted May 8, 2005 i find the harder you try, the less women you actually attract. just be yourself, the right one will come along when you least expect it.
Author Lights Posted May 10, 2005 Author Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by sanne i find the harder you try, the less women you actually attract. just be yourself, the right one will come along when you least expect it. That's nice, but off topic. Nevertheless, keep in mind that while I'm being myself waiting for the 'right one', I do plan on being myself and having a LOT of fun with several 'wrong' ones! (I'm not a believer in soul-mates, nor in any kind of a 'one' until exclusivity has been spoken about.)
mutton Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 oh hell. Just approach them. Perhaps give them a couple of friendly smiles before-hand to show interest (this will help as it will not surprise them when you do approach). Afterwards, go up to them, be polite, and it may help that you throw out a compliment about their attractiveness (Don't be too blatant but use adjectives such as attractive, pretty, or beautiful for example). Then if they seem to show a little bit of interest, perhaps you can then mention that the gym may not be greatest place to socialize and ask them out for a casual cup of coffee or what not (for when the two of you are done training). If it works, you can then ask for her number in a more suitable environment--at least in a place where a pen and paper or cellphone won't look out of place or be impractical to carry. Either way, if you two click, you click. If you don't, you don't but I don't see any other way to be except straight forward in such a fast-paced environment as a gym.
latida Posted May 10, 2005 Posted May 10, 2005 Just go for it. Compliment her on how many reps she has done, ask her how long she has been working out or a member there. Ask her if she mountain bikes, climbs, swims, outside of the gym...especially if you do these things and then go from there. This is a skill you need to develop. Keep trying and soon it will feel more natural. Practice on some of the ones you like and after you feel more comfortable talk to the one who catches your eye the most. I agree that you need to establish some kind of history with a girl though before asking her out. It is less weird. If a girl is single she will be flattered and possibly interested. If she is not single she will still be flattered, and possibly interested!
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