BROKENOW Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Is it better to talk about it if it makes us cry. I don't know. I also have been crying such a long time .. The hurt is as intense as the live. It's not worth it
Author Dela Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 Well, it s been 2 weeks since I ended the A. Now... I am torturing myself with "what ifs and buts". Being an eternal optimistic, I have some questions in my head WHAT IF I DIDN T END THE AFFAIR? WHAT IF I ENDED IT TOO SOON? WHY DIDN T I WAIT MORE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS? U get where I m going with this.. This is making things harder for me... Although I was strong not to contact him (I don t know how I did it, but I did it), I always had this on my mind... WHAT IF Could someone get some sense into me? Thanks 2
Josmatjes Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 I did the same thing when I went no contact. And I blocked him.l. But here's the thing...ask yourself these questions... Has he tried to get in touch w you? Has he made any moves to change his life? Is he still in the same situation? My mm could of borrowed a phone or used a pay phone, he knew where I worked, he knew my schedule...but nothing....that was my answer right there!! If something is meant to be it will be!! You are doing good, don't give in because starting over is worse... 1
Author Dela Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 I did the same thing when I went no contact. And I blocked him.l. But here's the thing...ask yourself these questions... Has he tried to get in touch w you? Has he made any moves to change his life? Is he still in the same situation? My mm could of borrowed a phone or used a pay phone, he knew where I worked, he knew my schedule...but nothing....that was my answer right there!! If something is meant to be it will be!! You are doing good, don't give in because starting over is worse... Thanks for ur post No he didn't contact me. Last time we talked he said that if i need to talk to him, he s always there for me. And he also said "I didn t dare to contact u, since u took the decision" and something like he seems to accept our separation for my own good ("I thought things would be easier for u") as if he s not around anymore, it s better for me... He s playing the good guy card, as - ur life is so much better without me in it. Lol 1
SoleMate Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 This is to everyone: The pain has to be gone through and lived, and when it is becoming unbearable, I recommend distractions. Deep clean the garage, hike a new mountain trail that wears you out, go take dance lessons with some girlfriends, bake a gargantuan batch of cupcakes and give them away to neighbors! Volunteer to walk and socialize animals in shelters, or clean up a beach or park, or read to a school class. Guard your hardfought investment in NC. This is your future and your peace of mind you're fighting for.
SoleMate Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 I also recommend everyone in NC have a complete physical exam including blood work, and a psych eval. There may be hormone imbalances and/or depression affecting your mood. 1
Author Dela Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 Thank you. Very good advice. I ll have my blood tests next week and other analysis. We have to tale good care of ourselves thru this hell... Bad state of mind can influence everything. I ve heard some die of a broken heart (i read Some stories, don t know if it s true lol) but still...
NewLeaf512 Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Well, it s been 2 weeks since I ended the A. Now... I am torturing myself with "what ifs and buts". Being an eternal optimistic, I have some questions in my head WHAT IF I DIDN T END THE AFFAIR? WHAT IF I ENDED IT TOO SOON? WHY DIDN T I WAIT MORE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS? U get where I m going with this.. This is making things harder for me... Although I was strong not to contact him (I don t know how I did it, but I did it), I always had this on my mind... WHAT IF Could someone get some sense into me? Thanks I read this the other day : If he wanted to be with you, he would be. It's that simple. 2
NewLeaf512 Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Im not sleeping. Are you Dela? Maybe an early night?
Author Dela Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 Im not sleeping. Are you Dela? Maybe an early night? I fall asleep at 4-5-6 am. Even if i wake up at 10-11, i still fall asleep so late. I m taling 5HTP but that s not for sleeping (it has little sedatif)... I al tired and sleepy when i go to bed, but can t fall asleep. Maybe we should all have a party in here )) 2
Josmatjes Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 Thanks for ur post No he didn't contact me. Last time we talked he said that if i need to talk to him, he s always there for me. And he also said "I didn t dare to contact u, since u took the decision" and something like he seems to accept our separation for my own good ("I thought things would be easier for u") as if he s not around anymore, it s better for me... He s playing the good guy card, as - ur life is so much better without me in it. Lol My xmm said the tge same thing, that he keeps his distance for it to be easier on me.... What a crock of ****!! 1
Popsicle Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 My xmm said the tge same thing, that he keeps his distance for it to be easier on me.... What a crock of ****!! Why do you think it's a crock of ****? 1
Satu Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 I understand the way you're thinking, but the present is what matters. The past is gone, and the future is unknown. Stay in the present, and all will be well.
Author Dela Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 I know but I can t help but wonder... and I m kinda pissed cuz he doesn t try to contact me... His acceptance of the situation is really making me sad...
NewLeaf512 Posted August 2, 2015 Posted August 2, 2015 I fall asleep at 4-5-6 am. Even if i wake up at 10-11, i still fall asleep so late. I m taling 5HTP but that s not for sleeping (it has little sedatif)... I al tired and sleepy when i go to bed, but can t fall asleep. Maybe we should all have a party in here )) The last time I looked at the clock it was 4:08
Author Dela Posted August 2, 2015 Author Posted August 2, 2015 The last time I looked at the clock it was 4:08 Oh. Are u ok? U think some sleeping pills would help? I will buy some
Josmatjes Posted August 3, 2015 Posted August 3, 2015 Why do you think it's a crock of ****? I don't know , maybe cause he started sleeping w his wife again and he doesn't need me anymore so he said that to soften the blow... Just my guess... I'm still hurt and angry obviously...
Popsicle Posted August 3, 2015 Posted August 3, 2015 I don't know , maybe cause he started sleeping w his wife again Don't worry, they'll stop. Anyways, he probably said that because he knows that he's hurting you and to stay in it is not good for you (or him). I see it as a caring thing to do and he was probably sincere.
Author Dela Posted August 3, 2015 Author Posted August 3, 2015 Broke NC, we talk but i don t plan to meet, WIFE WANTS ANOTHER CHILD!!! Wtf:((( what the **** this means? I am absolutely crushed (((
nikki76 Posted August 3, 2015 Posted August 3, 2015 I am 13 NC (but who is counting right lol) XMM has been completely distant to me and even my H. They've only talked maybe twice, because my H called him. Anyway, xmm group text H last night. They are moving and need help bringing stuff into storage. (Unfortunately, they arent moving far) So of course, my H is going to help him this afternoon . I'm angry that he asked my H to help him. He has a ton of friends. Hes an ahole for asking him. I know this has nothing to do with me. It just makes me realize even more what a scumbag this guy is. I'm also angry because I was doing really good not thinking about him. And now this. Im sure my H will update me on what's going on in their lives and frankly, I don't want to know because I don't give a crap. I'll have to change the subject when he brings him up. Thanks for letting me vent 1
rackcity Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I'm going on week 2 of NC. It's been very very hard as we work together. Any support or buddies going through the same thing would be very helpful right now Going on week 2 of NC but ended things a little over 2 months ago.
rackcity Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I played this game for months. I wish I had ended it the first time I tried to break things off with him.
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