UntitledNotepad Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 So I met this girl and went on a date before summer. Then she left. Before leaving she said she wanted to do another date when she got back. She closed her facebook account (which was how we were communicating), so we haven't talked since. Anyways, if she does reopen her FB... (1) should I even bother trying to pick things up? I have a feeling you guys will pounce on me saying "she's not interested leave her alone". Is that true? or does the fact that she said she wanted another date have any meaning? (2) What should I say? I was thinking of just a short "It's been while but I thought I'd say hi :D" Is that good? (3) I have very little hope for a relationship with this girl, but I do like her and she did (past tense) like me. How could I "win her back"? To be honest, I pussied out on the first date by not holding her hand, not kissing her, not hugging her because I come from a very religious family. Any thoughts on how to remedy this situation? Thanks guys.
Amalyn Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 My opinion says if she was interested, she would have made sure you had her number before she deactivated her FB. 1
joseb Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Do you know why she closed her Facebook account? Are you sure it's closed (not that you are blocked?)
brok3npromise Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 My opinion says if she was interested, she would have made sure you had her number before she deactivated her FB. I agree unless there was a specific reason she deactivated her account. Did she happen to tell you beforehand? If not and she just up and vanished....yeah she may not be interested
Author UntitledNotepad Posted July 21, 2015 Author Posted July 21, 2015 I'm 100% sure she didn't block me. I had a few friends of mine search her name, and they couldn't find her. If she blocked me, they would have seen her. She did post on twitter something along the lines of "i'm sick of life and i don't want to talk to anyone right now". So I guess my question is this: if she lost interest in me, why not just say "you're a nice guy, but I just don't think this will work out"? Why did she do the exact opposite and agree to a date when she got back? she comes from one of the wealthiest families in america, so I doubt she wants free food. she has a million friends, so i doubt she is just bored and looking for friends. maybe she was trying to let me down softly...but why not just leave it as "im leaving for the summer, it was nice getting to know you, bye" why say "i leaving for the summer, but lets do this again when i get back!" WTF!!! Sorry if that made no sense at all...
joseb Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 So I guess my question is this: if she lost interest in me, why not just say "you're a nice guy, but I just don't think this will work out"? Why did she do the exact opposite and agree to a date when she got back? Because it's much easier to do that than to be honest.
Amalyn Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Some people are cowards. They believe by just vanishing and not being honest with someone, it's more polite or less hurtful. When in reality, it's the opposite. We've all had this happen to us. If she really is vanishing on you, I'm sorry to hear that. It might be best to keep your options open and not wait around for her. 1
trippi1432 Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 I'm 100% sure she didn't block me. I had a few friends of mine search her name, and they couldn't find her. If she blocked me, they would have seen her. She did post on twitter something along the lines of "i'm sick of life and i don't want to talk to anyone right now". So I guess my question is this: if she lost interest in me, why not just say "you're a nice guy, but I just don't think this will work out"? Why did she do the exact opposite and agree to a date when she got back? she comes from one of the wealthiest families in america, so I doubt she wants free food. she has a million friends, so i doubt she is just bored and looking for friends. maybe she was trying to let me down softly...but why not just leave it as "im leaving for the summer, it was nice getting to know you, bye" why say "i leaving for the summer, but lets do this again when i get back!" WTF!!! Sorry if that made no sense at all... Actually...that made perfect sense. She has a lot of drama and shuts off the world to recoop, honestly a good thing but a bad thing when someone makes a dramatic exit ...stage left. As to how she told you that....well, was disrespectful. With wealth, comes entitlement. Sorry.
Author UntitledNotepad Posted July 21, 2015 Author Posted July 21, 2015 So is it (1) she was getting overwhelmed from life and shut everything off to recoup, so she was not rejecting me, just taking a break, so when she gets back she may still want another date, or (2) she didn't care enough about me to give me her number (should I have asked for it??). Idk.
Author UntitledNotepad Posted July 21, 2015 Author Posted July 21, 2015 At this point I'm just trying to decide if I should start talking to her when she gets back. I'm super busy with college, so it's not like I'm gonna find someone else anytime soon lol. To forget or not to forget?
GoBlue Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 I have very little hope for a relationship with this girl, but I do like her and she did (past tense) like me. How could I "win her back"? To be honest, I pussied out on the first date by not holding her hand, not kissing her, not hugging her because I come from a very religious family. Any thoughts on how to remedy this situation? Come on dude, do you really think that if you would have "held her hand, kissed her, or hugged her" on that first date things would have been different? There is a big difference between being "religious" and authentically spiritual. I hope you don't continue to use your upbringing as some kind of crutch or excuse for bad choices moving forward. As for practical help with this situation, people close their Facebook accounts for a myriad of reasons. I doubt that she closed hers just to stop communicating with you. If you have an opportunity to talk with her again why not just be yourself? Communicate the same way any two people who know each other and haven't had contact in a while would - express joy to see her and tell her how nice it is to catch up. You can then ask if it is o.k. to exchange contact information. Good luck. Hope it all works out.
smackie9 Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 She did post on twitter something along the lines of "i'm sick of life and i don't want to talk to anyone right now". . This tells me her head is not in the right space atm. She could be going through some family issues or life issues. Anyways, it sounds to me she wants to be left alone, that's why she has gone off the grid. I'm sure in time she will pop out again, and be ready for life. That would be the best time to contact her.
Amalyn Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 It really confuses me why she wouldn't have given you her number if she were genuinely interested. I guess maybe I always assume the worst and hope the best. I do hope I'm wrong in your case. But I would definitely keep my options open if I were you.
smackie9 Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 If a man doesn't ask for a girl's number, she is going to assume he isn't really all that interested in pursuing her. Note* people will lie about wanting to going on another date....especially women. It's difficult to reject someone right to their face, so they say they will, then not answer messages later, or give excuses. IMO never invest in someone you had one date with, especially if it was months ago. Let it go man, plenty of fish in the sea.
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