jsmith92 Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Hi all, I am 23 and 4 months into my third relationship. My first relationship ended after 2.5 years with my ex leaving me for another guy, being my first relationship and break up It took me a while to get over it. Second relationship lasted 3 years and in the end my ex just kept lying over too many things and i lost trust in her so this time around i ended it. I am now into my third relationship and this time its very different to what I am used to, not only has she been a mate of mine for the past 3 years but i have worked with her for almost 2 years as well. 95% of the time we get on so well, but every now and then I feel that I get insecure over small things and I think it is a mixture of how my exes have treated me in the past and how I know my now girlfriend has been in the past also. I have never really been single, im used to being with someone whereas this is my girlfriends first serious relationship and she is 21 and used to the single life. I have seen how she has acted in the past and I feel as though she isn't used to being with someone and every now and then I start to feel like I cant trust her. The other night we went out and the night was going really well until I had a pop at her, I didnt have that much to drink compared to what I am used to but I went out on an empty stomach and feel it took effect on me big time. I dont remember why it happend but it is the first time i have been kicked out of a club before and I left my girlfriend in tears for the remainder of the evening. The other night was the biggest fall out we have had so far but it isnt the first, a few months before we became official we went out for my birthday and it happend then also although not to the same extent, we both got drunk i started accusing her of things and the night was ruined. When we are together and not drinking everything is really good, but we have been out maybe 4 or 5 times now since we have started seeing her and the other night was the second time i lashed out at her, having a go at things and accusing her of all sorts. I want to stop being like this but im just trying to work out why i get like how i do. I want to be able to trust my girlfriend and I know that she is a lovely girl but I just keep letting things get to me, most of the time its when i drink but there are still sometimes when i dont that i feel this way too. I need to sort it out before I push her away as there is only so many times she can put up with it. If anyone can give there thoughts and opinions on why they feel I am like this or any advice that would be a big help.
Author jsmith92 Posted July 21, 2015 Author Posted July 21, 2015 Sent my girlfriend a long text earlier trying to explain why I feel I get how I do. Forgot to mention a couple of things, one time while working with her I noticed a 50year old colleague touching her bum, not once but twice and she didnt do anything about it. I brought it up with her and she said that she thought it was weird but thats it, i dont know if im being over the top but shouldnt she have at least said something to him? I know i would have if someone was doing that to me. Secondly the other night when we were out for my mates birthday, my girlfriends best mates fella was sayin to my girlfriend how great she looks and that if she he was single he would make a move, he then said to me he hoped he wasnt being disrespectful, I shrugged and just ignored it but i feel that that came back to bite me during the night and that caused me to have a go at her. Again she just stood there and laughed it off, i dont know if im being touchy but i would have said something if i was in her position. I explained to my girlfriend this morning that I dont ever feel like she backs our relationship up like i would do and this is why i feel like i cant trust her at times and she said she understood and feels really guilty so im assuming that i am being fair with what i said. Im just hoping now she knows how i feel that she will start acting different and start behaving more like a girlfriend.
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