DaisyBug Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 If anything does come of it, it would just be a fling on his part, so don't even think about an emotional investment. You're just a nubile young thing to him and would be a big score - nothing more.
40 Fonzarelli Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Bill just wants some young booty and knows exactly what to say to get it. I would advise you to go out and be a teenager and experience life. You are way too young with your whole life ahead of you.
ChicagoSparty Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Hey, do whatever blows your hair back. I just wouldn't have any grandiose expectations. I think a lot of people need to lighten up about this stuff. Let her live life, make mistakes, learn and grow. I mean, let's say she starts hooking up with Bill....what's the worst that's going to happen? She'll get hurt when it doesn't work out? Who cares? That potential exists in any relationship. And even if the guy is into an 18 year old chick, that doesn't make him a perv. Physically, there's really no difference between an 18 year old or a 28 year old or a 38 year old. Biologically, the body is mature. Now, is it what I'm into or I would do? No. I'm 41 and 25 is my bare minimum. But that's just me. If I did go for an 18 year old, there is nothing illegal or immoral about it. It just skews away from what most people consider 'normal' or 'right'. People need to stop making stuff like this into a federal crime. Nobody will die here. 3
wb1988 Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 He went through a terrible divorce three years ago. You know the movie Let's Kill Ward's Wife? Well that's her. Unfortunately still alive however. Anyway, I've never had a serious boyfriend. I've had plenty of attention, people say I'm pretty, but I've never like anybody that much. The high school boys are all either silly, goofy, mean, immature. I'm still a virgin. However I love Bill. And I can tell he likes me. And I'll be 18 in two weeks! But he's 55. I know my parents will have a fit if I date Bill and who knows what other people would think. At least his children are younger than I am. But don't a lot of women have relationships or at least feel attracted to older men? I certainly see it in a lot of movies. So am I a pervert or crazy? I RESPECT Bill; I love him; just haven't felt that about boys my own age. I liked that movie. Maybe one day the both of you could kill his ex wife, but in like a romantic way; drinking wine and smiling at each other while her dead body is under the table . I'm 26 and very much have my eye on girls 18-23 but I gotta say there are times when I notice certain women around age 40 that are pretty hot. Like if they wear that Audrey hepburn style dress, or a white silk blouse with the big pearl neckless...damn that's super hot. I think I've always felt it since I was a kid and I still do now so I can get a 17yo girl finding certain 50+ guys attractive as it sounds like he looks like the old grey-haired guy from Mad Men If you were 22 or 23+ then I don't think it would be the same as a girl just about to turn 18. I guess it's a bad circumstance.
lana-banana Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 What I don't understand is why all sorts of relationships are condoned - gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, etc because everyone has to "be yourself". 50 Shades has now made BDSM mainstream. But older man/young girl is just wrong and everyone has the right to tell you that. What if I tell gay people that they're "just wrong", is that OK? And I am 18 August first. As far as abuse goes, please. I have heard and read so much about same age relationships ending in beatings, drugging, rape, unwanted pregnancies, STDs, false promises, lies and false hopes etc. Can it get any worse? Look at Bristol Palin, now pregnant for the second time from some jerk. How are those socially acceptable same age relationships going for her and the five kids she'll end up having from five different daddies? Seeing how often the older man/younger girl thing comes up in fiction, I wonder if most woman haven't secretly had these feelings but maybe just didn't act on them. They have to live it out in fiction. Or maybe I just notice those stories more because that's how I feel?? What you have isn't love, it's infatuation. And the fact that you equate sexual orientation with your decision to pursue an older guy suggests you have some serious maturity issues. Of course it's natural to be attracted to older men; I remember being your age and thinking men my age were absoltuely awful. A lot of them were, sure. But no amount of mental maturity or intellectual connection can make up for the sheer gap in life experience you have, especially at your age. You are going to grow so much it'll blow your mind. When I think about who I used to be, the difference between 18 and 20 was significant; the difference between 18 and 25 was enormous. You are not even going to recognize yourself in a few years---you really think your relationship can last with a man who has already gone through that several decades ago? Recognize this for what it is: a harmless infatuation where your imagination fills in the gaps. Meanwhile, buckle up and look for a man closer to your own age. This is the time of your life to spend growing, maturing, changing, breaking hearts and making mistakes, getting it right and getting it wrong and learning how to make it work. The world is still so exciting and new, and a man old enough to be your father won't be able to share that with you. 2
SmartDude Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Forget all these boring family-oriented people living in a Disney fantasy world. Go have sex with him! He might be the first but he won't be the last. Sex and romance does not always lead to a long term commitment. He already knows this so don't worry about hurting his feelings. 1
autumnnight Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 It may only be 3 years, but from the ick factor standpoint there is a big difference to me between 17 and 20. 20 has been a legal adult for a couple of years. 17 is just past a statutory rape charge. My question is....why is a man who could be your grandfather interested in a girl so young? I can see a 55 year old thinking a 25-30 year old hottie is a big ego boost. But 17....that is basically still in or just out of high school. 2
Author alice081997 Posted July 21, 2015 Author Posted July 21, 2015 When I was in my 20's, I briefly had a fling with a guy in his 50's. I couldn't get past how his skin felt. Totally turned me off to dating men more than 15 years older than me. REALLY?? OMG what did it feel like? Seriously his skin looks Ok to me. Was the person you with like really paunchy, with a cascading gut sort of thing? Anyway, about being taken advantage of and so on, I trust Bill a lot more than I do someone close to my age, who probably has his mind on one thing only and I'll just be one more notch on his belt. I want something a lot more meaningful than that. Haven't most other girls ever wanted to snuggle up with a distinguished older man instead of being pushed into who knows what weird stuff by the frat boy of the week?
readynow Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 Haven't most other girls ever wanted to snuggle up with a distinguished older man instead of being pushed into who knows what weird stuff by the frat boy of the week? The distinguished older man isn't 38yrs older than them though:confused: Nothing meaningful can come out of this and old bill probably knows that. If you don't want someone your own age, you can go as far as 10yrs older, which is a lot for your age. You're 17, your brain hasn't even developed fully yet! Hey, my boyfriend is almost 20yrs older than I am and I support age-gap relationships but I see a big problem where one partner is so inexperienced compared to the other that one couldn't really say 'she knows what she's doing'.
elaine567 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I trust Bill a lot more than I do someone close to my age, who probably has his mind on one thing only and I'll just be one more notch on his belt. I want something a lot more meaningful than that. And how do you know that Bill isn't speaking to you solely because he wants to get into your pants too? YOU are way over-romanticising this. Bill is either a professor who is used to speaking to youngsters and is treating you like his daughter or a student, OR he is the horny professor who has used his position to seduce loads of young women into bed and you are his next conquest. A normal man of 55 is NOT going to deliberately pursue a serious relationship with a 17 yo. 5
Amalyn Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Has Bill mentioned he wants a relationship with you, OP? Has he ever said he has feelings for you?
Author alice081997 Posted July 22, 2015 Author Posted July 22, 2015 No, not really. But I just think he does, and I know he wouldn't want to risk anything before I'm 18. So I couldn't bring it up.
Amalyn Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 No, not really. But I just think he does, and I know he wouldn't want to risk anything before I'm 18. So I couldn't bring it up. I would be very cautious. Bill might just be a very nice older gentleman who is genuinely enjoying conversation with you. Unless you are 100% sure, I would be very leery of telling him your feelings.
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Once you're 18 you can legally date & have sex with any adult you wish. Even though some people flip out about it, there's nothing wrong with it, if both parties go into it with their eyes wide open. If you date him, some girls are gonna hate you & some guys are gonna be jealous of him. Most likely you will get tired of the age difference pretty quickly & dump him.
elaine567 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 When I was 17, I loved my Maths teacher, he was married, early thirties, spoke to me like a teacher, very professional and never crossed any lines. He was "interested" in me purely because I was very good at Maths, but I was besotted... However, I soon forgot all about him, when desirable, single, available young men at uni showed their interest in me.
casey.lives Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 older man- younger woman is a common dynamic. Selene Dion and her guy, Tom Cruz and Katie Holmes .. my sister and her husband. the list goes on.. The only real problem i see here is that he's married. I think though, if he's spending this much time with you, his marriage can't be great. i can't really recommend anything .. tell him how you feel and let him figure out what's next
nadine5 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 No, not really. But I just think he does, and I know he wouldn't want to risk anything before I'm 18. So I couldn't bring it up. Well, once you turn 18, you're a legal adult in our land of the free home of the brave and you can do whatever you want. Society isn't going to like it, but there's really nothing anyone can do to stop you. So if you want to do it, go ahead. When I was 20 I dated a 43 year old man. My parents absolutely flipped out but they couldn't do anything to stop me. My friends thought I was crazy. I loved him intensely but he never felt like we were on the same level and he dumped me. Keep in mind that he might treat you like a midlife crisis "fling" and be prepared to have your heart broken if you go through with this, as it is a strong possibility, and especially because you're a virgin.
Timshel Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Let's believe for a second this thread is for-realsies alice. You are too young and inexperienced to have a relationship with Bill. Channel your energy into being the best at what you are passionate about. Not Bill or sloppy frats........although, getting laid in a sober and fun way wouldn't hurt for keeping perspective, ambition and everyone including yourself and Bill out of trouble.
wizer Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 So the fact she is only 17 and he's 55 is no concern at all? I would be concerned if a 55 year was wanting to see my 17 year old daughter I was responding directly to your post, age 30 vs 55 not the hypothetical first post of this thread which is of questionable sincerity.
elaine567 Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 The only real problem i see here is that he's married. I think though, if he's spending this much time with you, his marriage can't be great. Erm... NO. He went through a terrible divorce three years ago. 1
Zippy2000 Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Sorry, I have read all the posts. Its late here in the UK but I think age gaps depending where you live of the people you know affects the relaltionship. Let me say to you I have a work colleague who is 54 and his wife is 24! They werent readily accepted by their friends and family but they are still together and married. Me? Im 41 and I just met a lovely girl of 24. I went on a date with her and things went well. Not sure how her friends will take it but the thing is I dont even look 41. I got ID`d at the bookies last month and the clerk behind the counter thought I was under 18! Nowadays its not that "taboo" as someone said on this thread. Its in society right now. You just have to look out for it. That Led Zepplin Jimmy Page is 71......His girlfriend is 25! Read this: Would YOU have an age gap romance? | Daily Mail Online
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